Surrogacy

[marieannelee]

Hi - I am a surrogate mother and I am experiencing extreme feelings of anxiety, panic attacks, depression and suicidal thoughts. Is there anyone else out there with similar experiences who has also been a surrogate? Please get in touch.

[kinikia95 ADAA Volunteer]

Hi, sorry I haven't been a surrogate but I think it's fantastic what you're doing. If I had to guess I would think you'd be feeling fantastic about how you are helping someone but I also imagine it's very complex and I'm obviously not familiar with the experience. I am familiar with the emotions of being pregnant. I hope you can find a surrogate on here but in the meantime you can tell the rest of us what's going on if you like.

[marieannelee in reply to kinikia95]

Thank you for your response. The problem is the surrogacy didn't go well at all. The parents behaved horrendously....a very long story. It's left me traumatised, scared of nearly everything and with no trust in people whatsoever. It took a lot of courage to talk on these forums. I have to be careful because I experience flashbacks which lead to panic attacks which lead to suicidal thoughts and hearing voices. Such a lot going on. Medical professionals haven't helped at all - they initially diagnosed me with a personality disorder which only made things worse. Medication doesn't seem to work either. Can't cope with the side effects....

[kinikia95 ADAA Volunteer in reply to marieannelee]

Thats rough. I went searching in other communities to see if I could find someone that could relate better, ended up in action on PP and saw that you posted. I didn't read the replies but there were quite a few. I hope they were of some comfort. You are seeking solutions and that's a good thing. I'm just so disappointed that you haven't found the right medical help. Seems to be needed here.

[marieannelee]

I think the medical profession are at a loss with what to do with me really...the situation is so very complicated...so many diagnoses that were wrong and now they will not commit to anything. Everyone seems to think it is PP after describing the symptoms apart from the medics who won't confirm it. Like I said the voices start when I can't control the anxiety...if I could get that under control I might be able to make a start with things. But its a vicious circle as those thought with the dreadful memories of the surrogacy...

[kinikia95 ADAA Volunteer in reply to marieannelee]

I hear you about the horrible memories but the voices issue needs help, maybe more help than you can manage yourself. If we could all get our issues under control on our own this message board would be blank. Honey you need help for those voices. You should not have to live like this, it's not fair. You're talking like it's something that you should be able to fix but its not you. We all need extra help sometimes and you're entitled to it and as uncomfortable as it might be you should demand it. They are highly paid professionals and they are not allowed to say they are at a loss. Good money has been spent by you and/or the insurance company and you deserve a result. Im a passive person myself but sometimes we have to stay on them.

[marieannelee]

The NHS are a tough bundle to handle.....they are causing me more distress...

[Hidden in reply to marieannelee]

What are the NHS? I'm sorry I'm unfamiliar with that acronym.

[kinikia95 ADAA Volunteer in reply to Hidden]

Cathypcat I'm from the US but from what I can gather NHS the National Health Service for Great Britain.