How to help my 14yr stop misbehaving during class

[almom]

My son is 14yr old and has ADHD, anxiety, OCD and ODD. He goes to a private school now as 9th grader as he struggled with friends in our public school, was bullied and basically fell in depression with the thought of going back to the public school after being at home during covid for 8th grade. He now has friends and loves the new school, goes to school, participates in sports, social activities, etc. - he is like a new kid and so much happier.

However, he still has trouble maintaining his behavior during class time. He likes to tell others things that he knows will irritate them, he likes to get a rise out of adults, and some teachers are able to deal with it easier and basically put their foot down at the beginning, and some struggle and just push against him and then he pushes back. Eventually, he gets in trouble and we get a call/email from teacher. He has a buddy that is immature like him and think farts are the funniest thing in the world. He often speaks out in class, he likes to make people laugh. He is actually pretty smart and most teachers think he can do so much better than he is doing.

He does go to therapy, he takes concerta 72mg (he is 14yr old, 6ft tall and about 200 lbs) and zoloft 200mg for anxiety. He takes his medicine about 7am and by the end of the day, he doesn't have much medicine left in him, but he refuses to take a booster at school. He takes a 10mg ritalin when he gets home at 3:15 for homework and afterschool things, but that doesn't help during school hrs.

I have talked to him about switching medicine to maybe longer lasting, but nothing is really going to last that long.

How do I help him listen during class? He has been warned and disciplined.

How do I convince him to take a booster at school?

How to teach him not to intentionally do and say things that irritate adults? I have always been honest with him and stressed to tell the truth and be honest.

Any advise or suggestions will be greatly appreciated. He is being warned that he will be suspended and possible asked to withdraw and that will not be good for his mental health.

[hrs9qa]

Wow, you are describing my son a few years ago. It's scary because his brain does not see the consequences of what he is doing. Sorry that you are going through this. Unfortunately, if you push too hard he may stop taking all meds. It's one of the few things he can control.

My son has always had trouble interacting with kids his own age. He is 16 now and it took a while for him to fully describe how he felt. He was teased, bullied and laughed at most of his childhood. That left a lot of scars and acting out was a way for him to deal with the pain. At 14, having the kids laugh with him was better than when the kids were teasing him and laughing at him.

It's taken a lot of time and therapy to work through the anger and hurt to get him to understand his beautiful brain works differently than other kids and he needs to learn to follow the rules and function in school (and in life) without acting out.

Punishment never worked for my son. He did not care when I took away his phone, computer or anything else. Positive reinforcement worked better. Find what works and encourage him to get through the week with no complaints and he will get to do or go ???

Also make sure his therapist is addressing back anger and hurt feelings from his previous school.

[almom in reply to hrs9qa]

Thank you for your response, I have never seen it that way, but it sort of makes sense now - making kids laugh better than being teased. We don't have luck with punishment either, and positive reinforcement works sometimes, not all of the times. I will try to address the anger and hurt feelings with therapist.

[Smerbear12]

Hi! My son recently started taking Azstarys. It lasts 13 hours! It's a longer form of Focalin. It does amazing for concentration and focus in school. Stimulants cause such rage and anger with him, all of them have. But he's able to a sweet kind boy at school. At home we deal with the hulk at night while it's wearing off. Maybe something that would work for your son for long lasting without boosters needed.

[becker]

Have you checked what he is drinking with his meds or during the day? We didn’t learn until several years into medication that drinks rich in ascorbic acid/vitamin C or citric acid (orange, grapefruit, and other drinks supplemented with vitamin C) can interfere with the absorption of the stimulant meds. Citric acid breaks down the medication before it has a chance to be absorbed by the body. And it leaves the system so fast that it can lead to rebound symptoms, which in our son’s case were worse than adhd alone. Just something to consider.

[almom in reply to becker]

He drinks a lot of water, vitamin water, but I would have to check the amount of vitamin c and citric acid in the vitamin water. Thank you

[Bootsie1]

I’ve also heard that taking antihistamines undermines the medication as well.