9yr old new school, I’m losing it

[Willowbee37]

little background my son started his current school in 2nd grade. It’s a bigger k-5 public school. He’s done well making good friends and the staff is wonderful, however he’s not getting good accommodations and when he does it happens for a few weeks then stops. They aren’t putting anything concrete in his 504 besides “extra time for testing, being able to have fidgets ect) he’s an anxious by nature kid and the size of the school has never really agreed with him (he leaves the pep rallies early, hates their crowded aftercare)

he got offered a spot in a smaller county school that’s k-8. The classroom size itself is about the same but the school overall is smaller. I entertained the thought thinking he would shoot it down. He was all in. They have class pets and have an extra recess, more gym time during the week and aftercare is one that he goes to in the summer and likes.

I am absolutely torn up about it. Literally cried everyday. I sent the new school his 504 and the principal was like, that’s not much of anything so let’s start over and figure out what he needs. If he needs an IEP we will get him one, they don’t want to wait til he’s failing to do something. I know it’s a good choice but I’m so worried about HIM. It seems fun and exciting but once the anxiety kicks in and he misses his old friends, will it still be the right decision.

[Onthemove1971]

Sounds like a great opportunity for him. If it doesn't work you can move him back. Go for it. It's a K-8 so he can avoid middle school. I would don't this for my son if possible.

Good luck!

[Willowbee37 in reply to Onthemove1971]

I figured if it’s a bad fit he can move at middle school when he would normally have to. Hopefully it’s a good fit and I’m happy not to deal with changing schools when he’s a hormonal tween haha.

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Willowbee37]

Yes, I agree, have him in a school where you do not have to move him for middle school at another site. Then he would only make one move to high school once he gets in this new school.

[Aspen797]

What makes the biggest difference that we have seen is the principal and school microclimate. In middle school the importance of this is amplified 10 fold. You have a chance now to safely preview a potential middle school and get to observe how the school handles students needs, behaviors, and involves families. Their immediately being open to assessing his needs and expanding his 504, even adding the supports/teaching of an IEP are great indicators. Looking to support before waiting to fail sounds like smart, capable folk at the helm. If you are worried about friendships, ask about supports for that. Are there lunch bunches, clubs he can join, animal care-taking opportunities to help others, friendship benches at recess? Can he join the local cub scouts or other teams to meet kids from that school? Ultimately, a transition now may be easier than a transition later. The move to a traditional middle school can be challenging. This sounds like a good and safe middle step. Good luck no matter what you choose!

[Willowbee37 in reply to Aspen797]

All great advice, thank you!!!

[skysoblue]

The fact that they're proactively offering to look at his needs sounds amazing. That has LITERALLY never happened in assessing our son in any of the schools in our district. Also, if he's like my son, less changes of schools the better. Our poor kid has been in 4 schools (within district) since 3rd grade. Sounds like a win! Good luck!

[Willowbee37 in reply to skysoblue]

Yes, less changes the better ABSOLUTELY! My son did Montessori for k-1 and then current school 2nd and 3rd grade and now going to the new one so I get it. I read a study that said kids with ADHD tend to change schools more. Which I think we both get why now!!

[skysoblue]

Unfortunately those school changes are the natural progression for all children in our district. Thankfully, now that he's in high school we're done with that!

I think it sounds like you've found a great situation. Fingers crossed for you both!

[Crazyboymomma]

Don’t walk, RUN!!! Absolutely everything sounds better. My son starts at a new school tomorrow for 7th grade and I’m nervous but excited. So far I’ve been so impressed that I can’t stop kicking myself for not doing it sooner, which he’d asked to do. If your son is game, then do it!! Never turn down a school that actually offers the 504s, iep, etc!! Good luck!! ❤️

[Willowbee37 in reply to Crazyboymomma]

Thank you, my son is totally in for a change but I’m NERVOUS. Good luck to your son as well!!!!

[Mamamichl]

I love the idea of smaller schools. I’ve tried both big and small. My kid does well with small schools too. I’m so glad the principal at the new school is being proactive. You deserve it.

[Imakecutebabies]

Your son is not nervous. Trust him. (: