Without options

My 9 year old has ADHA. He's been diagnosed with it since the age of 6..I've asked my ex-wife to seek counseling for him before choosing the meds as a last resort. "Oh I know, totally for sure!" She said.

But she still went for the meds. Pissed me the hell off when she totally went over my head and ignored everything I suggested to her for the sake of my little guys health & wellbeing. I was totally blindsided by this. When I confronted her about it, she said the most lamest lie I've ever heard; "Um what are you talking about? You & I agreed to this!" When I never did. Boy did I really wished that she was a dude in that moment cause I REALLY wanted to lay her out for making up BS like that. But I would never.

I also have A.D.D. and I'm not taking anything for it. No meds what so ever.

=/

I never had any money cause I haven't been able to hold on to a job long enough and no insurance. All of this is as a result of my condition. I forget things quite quickly, my focus is not as good as it was years ago and I get so easily sidetracked.

But for my ex wife telling me that we talked about and coming to an agreement regarding my son getting on medication for his condition is total BS. That I would remember.

I need some advice for myself on how to get through this.

Anyone?....anyone?...Bueller?......Bueller?.........

:/

9 Replies

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  • Hi!!

    There is allot of stigma regarding adhd medication and people often see the negatives it can bring. I think that medication could work but it would be better to weigh up the pros and cons before making a decision. Medication often works best with a combination of different things such as counselling,play groups or even activities that your son enjoys. Life with adhd days can be hard especially for a parent and mabey your child will benefit more with medication than without it.

    One step at a time and everything will get easier!!!

    Hope this helped!!!

  • I appreciate your input/feedback and thank you..the thing is, I'm already doing all of that..I'm just proving a point to the ex wife and you said exactly what I said so thank you!

    Nobody from her side of the family ever listens to me and neither would she.

  • Mabey it would help if they saw what it is like for you living with adhd and I think they should educate themselves and mabey that could help you guys find common ground

    Good luck!!!

  • Tried that too.

    Their words were; that if I didn't have a medical degree, I knew nothing. To just stick to Criminal Law period.

    I still appreciate you for your words.

  • Hi JRomero. I probably don't have the best advice for you, but I feel like I understand your concern regarding the decisions being made for your child. Since your wife already went ahead and started medicine treatment why don't you offer to join her in the doctor's visits? As the other user said Meds usually work best with a combination of therapy/counseling and I believe that the doctor may recommend it as well. You can both be there and hopefully make those decisions together on behalf of your child. In addition, you can discuss any changes there too. Good luck with this journey and have faith that things get better. Both my children have ADHD and our journey has been long and exhausting at times, but we do everything for our little ones.

  • She used to give me bogus dates and made it look like I wasn't interested in participating and told her friends & family that I was ashamed and embarrassed to be there for my son...until my son was old enough to figure out what his mother was up to, we all know young kids don't really lie when you're talking around them and they remember everything like a sponge. He somehow managed to accidentally throw his mother under the bus. Then her family found out...what happened after that you might ask?...let's just say that I really wasn't interested in their apologies when they gave it. ;)

    But seriously everyone. Your advice to me is what I truly value the most. I'm very humbled by this group. Thank you all so much.

  • Perhaps you may want to have all details of your child/custody/healthcare issues arranged by a court, so there would be no further disagreements. Unfortunately, this seems to be of help for my parents in your situation. Good luck with everything and remember that things will eventually work out.

  • Hi JRomero

    I was on the other side of this situation. I chose to medicate my daughter knowing her father would hate it. We went to counseling and had her tested by a therapist of his choosing and when they all agreed we should try medication he was angry.

    I understand his anger and I know that he only wants what's best for her just like me.

    You won't always agree but if you can each look past the issue and realize you are only fighting over this because you both want what's best for your child, it's easier to compromise.

  • She decided to put him on meds because I advised her to try counseling first. Then tried to flip it around pretending that we both agreed to it.

    I had no other choice but to go along with it. I'm dealing with it one day at a time. I deal with the changing of neurologists, therapists, dosages of the meds (along with their side effects), essential oils (which I approve more), the Omega gummy vitamins, keeping it all scheduled and keeping track of it all. That's my compromise. And his mother is bothered by my patience and how I'm taking it easy because she was actually counting on me getting stressed about the whole thing.