My 12 and a half year old daughter was hospitalized last fall for SI. She is diagnosed bipolar and ADHD inattentive. We have gone through the wringer with meds, but we, so I thought, had a good combo of meds for both disorders. We go to therapy, she had an IEP and safety plan, we have a GREAT team in place! And then today. I get a call from the school counselor that someone saw her with her scissors open close to her wrist. We decided that I would not freak out (!!) and just see if there were marks on her wrist. Her dad (whole separate story) dropped her off at my office about 4:30. I just hugged her and saw her wrists. There were at least 7 marks on her wrists, not like she drew blood, but definitely marks. She tried to tell me the dogs did it. I told her no, sweetie, that's from the scissors. She just said she got overwhelmed and sad about her dad and didn't feel like anyone there was helping and that the kids were mean to her and that this was emotional payback to them. We got in immediately to see her counselor and we have an appointment tomorrow to see her child psychiatrist.
She had some problems with some kids today, but honestly she doesn't always perceive what happens at school correctly. It's all impulse control. Our kiddos struggle so hard with this I know you guys get it, but dammit, we have been working SO hard for a year. Safety plans, therapy, crying together, therapy, coping skills, workshops, more therapy, spending time together, we have a great relationship and it just seems like nothing works!
She is the most amazing, beautiful, funny, smart beautiful person I have ever met and it just rips me in two that this sweet, sweet soul is struggling. I would do anything to take this pain from her....anything.
Camos1985- you are an amazing mother and you have some so right y some far with her. I am am proud she told you (after the dog story, they are blamed for so much) what she was feeling and why, such big steps. I think school just started for you guys, right? Of course do everything her doctors says. But do you think that she could have more time with a school staff ( maybe counselor) during these hard transitional times (beginning of school, any change of class, etc..) this would be easy to put into the IEP, so she didn't have to tackle these things alone.
I have no words as to why she has to struggle, I often wonder why anyone of our amazing kids has to struggle.
I give you the biggest hugs, a warm bath and maybe your favorite treat for working through this with her.
We are ALWAYS here for you please reach out if we can listen anytime...
Thank you! I know that we are doing our best and yes, there will be more intensive time at school with counselors and we will increase her therapy to 4 times a week. It just kills me emotionally..I have just contacted our therapist for more counseling for me. It's just SO frustrating and tiring...I WILL persist...I WILL..and please persist for your child
I am at a loss for any helpful words... and I really wish there were such things as helpful words for both of you. This love you hold as a parent is crazy amazing and difficult and wonderful all at once. And being a kid even with out extra stuff... not easy either. I have struggled with mental health forever, and I know it’s different for everyone- but I look back and just wish I had a mom like you in so many respects. Still wishing for that. You are above and beyond amazing for a zillion reasons. Don’t forget or discount that.
I’m so sorry to hear this! I know that you and your daughter have worked so hard this year. You are doing so much for her and I am sure that it is helping. There will still be setbacks and they are often so demoralizing. I am glad that your daughter did not draw blood and is talking with you about what happened. Hang in there-you are a great mom and she sounds like an amazing girl. You will get through this. Hugs.
Hi there. Dang, sorry for your stress. You have done an amazing job. I don't know if I could have managed so well on my own. Your so strong. This is just a bump, a little one with no loss of life or limb. I gotta say, I'm touched and a bit jealous that You are so close with your daughter. Mine hates me, wait mine HATES me. Your hard work and determination to help your daughter is admired. Hugs
My 35 year old daughter used to do this all the time in high school. It freaked the teachers out but I'd convinced them that this is not a suicide attempt, just an upset child trying to relieve tension. Or that's how she explained it to me.
She finally stopped when she was about 18 and now has a successful job.
I don't understand cutting. My daughter was out with friends one night and got upset and went into a store, got some scissors and cut her wrist there. They were always just scratches but they sometimes bled. Surprisingly she has no scars today.
This message means so much. When we are dealing with something new if feels so good to know we are not alone and that someone else has been there and we are going to get through this.
Thanks for sharing your personal journey with us. .
I’m so sorry that your daughter and you are going through this.
You guys really are the best! There has been a lot of hugs and talking this weekend, we will get through this just like all of you amazing Mom's get through everything!
Seeing your child struggle and not being able to help them is a horrible feeling. You’re living a very real nightmare. Your commitment to helping your daughter is very evident. Have you tried treatment with broad spectrum micronutrients yet, or discussed them with your psychiatrist? I encourage you to look into them. There are two companies, Hardy Nutritionals and True Hope. Our psychiatrist did not recommend one brand over the other. Prior to beginning them my son used to rage and say he wanted to die. He would scratch his face and cut into his skin. It broke my heart. He has been using the Hardy Nutritionals Daily Essential Nutrients and has been doing so much better. I wish you the best, send you strength, and hope your light at the end of a very dark tunnel grows brighter every day!
I am so very sorry to hear of your and your daughter's struggles. It is so difficult to be a parent, especially during tween/teen years. There is so much pressure these days on kids . It is wonderful that you have a close and loving bond with your daughter.
Camos. I’m glad you reached out here to tell us about it so we can support you. You are not alone in this hard life. If I can say anything to ease the sadness, it is that the tweens and early teen years were very, very difficult for us. I could ramble on with all the reasons why, but you can imagine what these kids struggle with on top of all new pressures of puberty, social media, change of schools - oh boy! Hang in there and take it day by day. Thank God for the love you share with your daughter. My daughter dislikes me immensely and it’s something I never imagined.
Courtney, I have followed your story and I send you so many hugs. None of us know how this life will unfold with our kiddos and it is a day to day struggle. I am thankful we have each othet.
Hello Camos, I am so sorry to hear about your daughter. My son has tried to stab himself and has taken sleeping pills. He is only 12 y.o., has ADHD and suffers from depression. His father is not an active part of his life and I know it bothers him. You do know that you are a great mom and this IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Just continue to monitor her, encourage her and show love. Sharing with her the same concerns you have in your post might also help. Kids don't always know how their actions affect us.
It pains me to hear about this struggle. I am sorry you two have to go through this.
Families don’t realize the impact of nutrition on their mental health. It sounds as if your daughter’s neurochemistry is off.
There is an organization called Mensah Medical which specializes in evaluating an individual’s nutrient status and adjusting it with vitamins and amino acids to balance their neurochemistry. They have great success with anxiety and depression, and they also treat adhd. Some kids also need adhd or other meds, but getting their nutrients to meet their needs reduces this and also reduces the side effects associated with meds. I highly recommend you have them evaluate your daughter.
Mensah Medical has outreach clinics all over the US. Visit their website to find out when they’ll be near you. They have also trained a lot of doctors in Australia.
Mensah helped our son overcome suicidal depression. He has a condition called Pyroluria which causes him to chronically lose zinc and b6. Foods containing dyes or flavorings make him lose more zinc & b6, so to be stable he has to avoid these. Our son has a “tell” when he’s low in zinc— kind of a tic where he wrings his hands. Without enough zinc and b6 you can’t make your neurotransmitters which causes anxiety and depression and can exacerbate adhd. Treatment is to get the right balance of vitamins in your system on a daily basis. For our son, his response was immediate and dramatic, in others, it takes longer.
Pyroluria is heritable, and given the difficulties with your husband (is he angry and snarky? Everything is someone else’s fault?) he may also have it and need treatment.
Each person is unique and supplement prescriptions are individualized.
I am so sorry for you and your daughter to be going through this, I’ve went through the self harm, look out to her friends or who she’s contacting as those people may be putting her down, check who she follows and tell her she’s not alone, if she ever needs to talk to someone who has gone through it I’m definitely open to talk to every kid is different trust me but pointing them out will make her feel guilty and may make her do it again, always check in with her, talk to her through the days at school to see how she is feeling I wish you the best of luck
So sorry that your little one is going through this. You've worked so hard. I pray this is just a small step back and all your efforts will lead you to happier and healthier tomorrows.
I just read your post and can definitely feel for you and understand where your coming from.
First of all, I sure hope that your daughter is doing better and that you are hanging in there as well as you can. I have a 15 year old son with ADHD who just recently cut himself several times at school with a pencil. He said that he did it because he was anxious about taking a test which I’m sure was true but we also have other issues going on at home and I think it’s just a lot of stress right now. My son is going to start counseling soon and his Dr. added another medication ( Strattera) for him to take at night.
So I guess all we can do is hope and pray for the best and feel that we are doing all that we can for our kids. It sure sounds like you are! It’s so very hard and frustrating to see our kids going through this but I’m sure glad that there are other parents on this site who understand and support each other! That goes such a long way in helping us survive this crazy ADHD ride!
Big hugs and best of luck to you and your daughter.
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