Another day of having to force myself to push and struggle with trying to attempt to do the easiest of tasks, such as go for a wash, brush my teeth. Trying to mentally prepare myself to get up and do it! Feel so dead inside I am just a shell of sad emotions waiting to be cracked so this torment can be over. So I try to go for a shower and end up breaking down and crying as I struggle to push myself to follow through and finish with what I need to do. I really do wish it would be over because I can't stand riding out this storm, waiting and wishing for the calmness to come.