Another Day!

Another day of having to force myself to push and struggle with trying to attempt to do the easiest of tasks, such as go for a wash, brush my teeth. Trying to mentally prepare myself to get up and do it! Feel so dead inside I am just a shell of sad emotions waiting to be cracked so this torment can be over. So I try to go for a shower and end up breaking down and crying as I struggle to push myself to follow through and finish with what I need to do. I really do wish it would be over because I can't stand riding out this storm, waiting and wishing for the calmness to come.

8 Replies

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  • Ah Sharon, "The Black Dog" that is the mist that hovers over us, some deal with it in their own fashion , as coping mechanism's come in all sort's of way's, and as you get older you recognize the sign's and recognition gives us warnings and hopefully in time to put our coping signs in place, of course so many of us have levels of depression that differ, but it helps if you recognize the signs and put some blocking levels up like forcing yourself to do something and distract you from the things that drive you deeper into the mist where being able to do anything becomes impossible.

    Sorry Sharon I know it sounds like waffle, but anything that takes you out of yourself, can help ,even if you have to force yourself to do the most mundane things like washing yourself or brushing your teeth it all helps, what helps me is that I know there are others worse than I am, I mean how can someone deal with blindness, jeeze could you deal with that, ? I could never cope with that, but out there, there are so many people dealing with it, and just how brave they must be.

    I know it might sound strange, but I say to myself, Jeeze but I'm lucky.

    Sharon me Darling, I know it's hard, I know dragging yourself to get up is such an effort, but when you do it, you can reward yourself, choclate comes to mind Mmmm'

    sorry I know I'm boring, best wishes from boring Alex ha ha

  • Yeah,its all bloody difficult, but hang on in there. Better times will come. In the meantime take consolation from the fact you are fighting a battle harder than many will know .

    The fact you're there and posting means you're already achieving more than many will ever achieve. As Churchill said all he could offer was blood ,sweat, tears etc. but the good times will come again. We all wish it could be over and it will be . Just stay as strong and courageous as you can and good times will roll round again.

    Wishing you luck, sympathy and the thing you need most courage. Not bragging but I've gone through this so many times. The good times always come again.

    Olderal

  • It sounds like you are suffering from depression. Its a chemical imbalance sometimes triggered by stresses, a break up or loss of some kind. See a doctor a psychologist but ask for help. You need it.

  • Hello Sharon

    We all feel the same to varying degrees and if we do not ask for help the illness becomes more pronounced.

    If not so already it is very important to see your GP and discuss all this negativity.

    When feeling so down and wishing you are not here it may be advisable to call 111 and ask for assistance, they will triage and decide the best way forward. If you feel you are a danger to yourself, go to the Police Station and ask to be put in a place of safety.

    You could also go down to A and E and ask them for help as well.

    Personally suicide is not a positive way forward and the attitude as they bring you around can be very abrupt and very heroic. Personally I would not want to try that again as it has some very negative affects on family members who would never trust you again, not forgetting resentment on what you have attempted.

    See your GP ASAP, We are generally around if you need to talk to somone

    All the best

    BOB

  • Hi Sharon, it could. Very easily be me you are describing, that's is exactly how I feel and I'm suffering, I. Have to go the hairdressers twice a week as I'm unable to wash and style my hair ( now that normally is certainly not me ) I wake up terrifed every morning and the thought of getting out the bed !!!! I have to force myself, as for getting washed I force myself and then it's as quick as possible ( I'm just unable to do it ) so yes I feeling exactly the same as you do it's HORRIFIC Sharon PURE HORRIFIC please keep Intouch with me, text me anytime day/ night I UNDERSTAND XX

  • Sandraann21 here for you also message anytime.

  • Thank You all... The get to it is the most difficult of all (for me), it's getting up from the sofa after countless hours of trying to go for a wash it's that I find so draining and exhausting. I've been to the doctors countless times but unfortunately the Mental Health workers aren't experienced in dealing with the real issue at hand that is causing the depression and agoraphobia. Thank You all for your kind words at the moment for me I just need to confide in someone who can relate to the difficulties that I face on a daily basis that it's self helps a little so I don't have to suffer in silence.

  • Sharonann I'm in the same place as you, and when people reply to me I really do appreacite it, but some just don't understand how bad we have it, you have to feel as bad as we do to understand, people say it's not impossible to do things, well sorry come live in my body and mind for.a day then tell me, my counsellor wants me to stop coming on this site as she doesn't think it's good for me, so id really like to keep In touch with you, as I feel we are both going through exactly the same feelings, and you gives so much comfort knowning someone feels and is going through the same as me, how are you today

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