Christmas is such a bad time for so many, when you live with depression it really is a struggle. My suicidal thoughts have taken over, I can’t rid myself of the feeling that I cannot go through another year of feeling as I do, useless, worthless , friendless.
Everyday I wake and the feeling of dread of getting through another day is overwhelming.
I am not asking for help or advice, nothing helps I know this, it is a tiny relief just to write this.
hi we are all in this daily struggle together with Christmas over I hope you can look forward to the new year with renewed hope.
Hiya
I too feel exactly like this. Every day is a real struggle to get thru. The only time i feel good is when im in bed. When im able to sleep that is.
I look after my mam who has Alzheimers and this is an extra strain on me.
Please message me if you want to
Thank you for your response, I am so sorry to hear about your Mum, it must be so hard to cope with. My Nan had it for many years, it is a devastating illness for all concerned. I feel so bad for you. X
I’ve been struggling with similar thoughts myself recently.
Christmas is a difficult time for lots of people, you’re right.
Keep writing and keep talking if that helps. We are here for you.
Thanks for your reply, it is almost like life is suspended over Christmas, so much going on for many, so many disappointments and feelings of loneliness, wanting it over with, then feeling no better when it is, so empty and hollow. I was reading about suicide on a site, it said how do you know if your suffering will end with death, you could go on to something far worse, or come back as a rock or other inanimate object. Is it better to keep going, with what you know, even if it is mostly misery and just surviving each day. I feel now like there isn’t even that option of suicide anymore.
Belfry
Christmas is over you are now heading for a new decade, full of promise and expectations, so why worry, We have very few people we can call friends in the broadest sense of the Word. Our Christmas was one of peace only Me, My Wife and Pax were all together, No back biting, misunderstandings or associated Christmas upsets. How did you spend your Christmas ? Where we live people celebrate New Year, a time of wonderful expectations for the future decade
BOB
Thank you for your reply, I have had no upsets over Christmas, it was spent at hone with my adult sons and husband. The depression I suffer causes me to have no expectations, or anything to look forward to, or want to do in any coming year. Everything is tiresome and I find no pleasure in anything.
Are you having any treatment to assist in lifting your mood
I generally feel if I am able to do things like hobbies, or diversions, with or without your family that may take your mind of the terrors of depression
As you have explained about Taking your own life is no way to travel, I attempted many years ago, failed and gave it quite a bit of thought. I feel we are here to learn, if we take our life, we have failed the Course and we need to come back and sit it again. To be honest I do not wish to go back through all my health issues again. I will hopefully get my Life Course Certificate pass and I will move on and learn more about why we are here?. Sometimes I wonder however what I did wrong in a past life and so far I am unable to work that out at this time
Have you any idea why you are suffering so. You have two Sons and a husband, Does that not help ?
BOB
Hi there Belfry23 I know exactly how you feel, I just want to get back to normal, what ever normal is. Keep posting if you feel like it, we are all here to make you feel better if we can. X
Thank you for your reply, I do feel like it’s a bit of a numb feeling, not caring or wanting to do anything and feeling so irritable towards others at the same time, feeling so tired one minute and unable to sleep the next.
It helps to write it down when I have the mind set to do so.
Hi there,I know how you feel.Depression makes you feel lonely and isolated.Please don’t take your life,my son has just done that...it’s been hell for him but it’s the same for me feeling I’ve failed him. I don’t want to tell you what to do but suggest medication like me and finding something to take your mind off yourself. It’s hard I know but we all have to keep going and hope things get better. Love to you.xx
Thank you Mia, I am so terribly sorry to hear about your son, I can’t imagine how devastated you must feel. I have been on anti depressants for many years, they just keep me above water most of the time, but recently I have been struggling, the time of year brings it all home.
Oh hasn’t Christmas been hell.I sat all day myself crying of and on.My daughter is good to me, but the rest of my family haven’t even txt or visited etc in the 15 weeks since I buried my son.All I can say is shame on them .xx
Consider talking to your GP in the New Year, you need to be able to get some real help to move yourself around. CBT may help with some medications ?, may help
At this time you could try and face your problems in bites, break up each bit into small slips and approach these small bits, moving on to the next slip when you feel you have cracked that bit of problem, When you further get stuck move onto the next problem, small slits and correct that one, if you feel you can go back to an earlier slip do that remember when you get stuck, move on. Eventually you will gain confidence in approaching your negative concerns as you move through your problems, Depression etc
Try Mindfulness, A Relaxation Technique, you can purchase a book on the subject on Amazon for £7;00, it is worth a try
However we are here to help, and if need be return at any time and we will try and help you
Good Luck, Happy New Year
BOB
Thank you
I have been taking anti depressants for 20 years, different types and seen therapists, psychologists etc. I know it’s an ongoing illness, sometimes like everyone else, life gets on top of me, people around me are too much, or I feel the opposite, lonely and isolated. Thank you for your suggestions.
Sorry you are feeling like this. I agree it is a struggle and if you would like to message we can support each other. There are so many people that will support on this site please feel free to talk if it helps
loosing the plot update 
I am feeling good tonight
Obsessive thoughts that bring me down.
