Hi, this is my first post as I've been reading other peoples posts but haven't had the confidence to write myself until now. I'm a woman in my early thirties and I have suffered from anxiety and depression from and early age, probably since before I was old enough to understand what I was feeling. I feel that I am broken and that maybe I am just not cut out for this world. I don't mean to sound self pitying as I have been fortunate in many ways in that I have a supportive and caring family and now a kind and supportive partner but I think ultimately they feel helpless when it comes to helping me. I have been on and off all different types of antidepressants for the last 15 years and I have tried counselling, CBT and psychotherapy as well as doing my own research and reading relevant self help books and websites but none of it seems to help for any length of time. I sometimes feel that I am "better" then I relapse again. I feel like I have been going around in the same circle for most of my life because of this. My mental health has hindered my education as I was hardly able to attend high school and I have had to quite my degree more than once. It has also cost me friendships and it is at the stage where it may cost me the first full time job that I have had. My anxiety and depression really get in the way of me being able to function and lead a meaningful life and I really feel like a burden to those closest to me. I am really just reaching out there to see if anyone can relate as I am aware that many people have episodes of depression or may only start experiencing it as an adult and possibly after a particular trigger and while I am not demeaning their experiences or pain I feel different in that there is no known cause or trigger for my anxiety and depression and it's got to the point where I feel like they are part of my personality now. Anyway thank you for reading.