Hello, I'm new and would like some advice please :)

I've never posted before, so hello!

I wanted some advice on how I'm feeling,

when I was younger, aged 16-18 (now 20) I suffered quite badly with depression, having regular suicidal thoughts and self harming, I refused to get any help because I was so embarrassed and didn't think anyone would understand of believe me.

I did get better but recently I've not been feeling great. It's nothing compared to what I was like before, but I've been so anxious in some situations that I've had mild panic attacks, I am also permanently exhausted and I feel very very ditched from a lot of situations. I also get very angry but it's often when I'm on my own.

I also have a housemate who has anxiety and depression and I feel like by trying to help her it's making me worse! But I've not told her how I feel because I don't want her to have another stress!

I don't know if this is normal or not. I don't feel upset like I used to but instead I have no interest in most things. My friends all think I have a great care free attitude but I think it's a lack of motivation and emotions to make any attachments to situations. I've become very dry and never want anyone to see any emotions.

I'm constantly worried about my mental health, but I don't think anyone would understand me, I can't talk to anyone because it makes me too upset or makes me feel stupid. I just don't know what to do right now.

If I go to my gp what can I tell them? Will they take me seriously? Am I over reacting, am I fine?

If anyone has any advice on what I should do I would be very grateful. Sorry for the essay- I feel bad now for rambling on.

9 Replies

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  • Hi Sally your very welcome here. Now I'm giving a fairly quick reply as I'm

    Off to bed.

    I think you should go to your GP as Depression/Anxiety can recur . Please

    Don't wait as there is no point in suffering on. About your housemate, well

    If your not well you really are not in a position to help her, as you need to

    Look after yourself, being responsible for someone else's mental health

    Is too much right now.

    Explain to her that she will have to get help for herself. Of course your Doctor

    Will believe you, I did .

    I hope this is of some help to you, pop back maybe tomorrow and see what

    Others will say, as it's nice to get a few opinions.

    Hannah

  • Good morning Sally

    My first response is yes you should go to see your GP. Mental Health problems are the most common reason that people visit their GP so they will be very used to hearing stories such as yours. There are still a very small minority of GPs who are not supportive of people in such situations so if you are unfortunate to see one of these then ask to see someone else. Sally you are not well and the symptoms you describe are classic signs of depression and need to be addressed so that you can get your life back. If you were suffering from a physical condition that was affecting your life as much as your depression is I'm sure you would not hesitate to make an appointment to see a doctor so there is no need for you to have any concerns in going to see your GP for your mental health condition. Those of us who suffer with mental health problems have been seen as the poor relations when it comes to health care and this must change and is changing albeit far too slowly.

    From what you have said it appears that you would very much benefit from some kind of talking therapy maybe counselling as you say you cannot talk to anyone about the way you are feeling. It is not good for any of us to keep our emotions bottled up in this way as they only fester and take on more importance than they need to. By verbalising this it helps us come to terms with our feelings, possibly exploring why we feel & act as we do so we can look to change our thoughts, behaviour and ultimately our lives.

    I want you to know Sally that there is hope even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment. There is help out there and you have taken an important step in coming on to this forum and seeking help. The next step is to see your GP and find out what further help is available to you. Well done for taking this step to move forward and I wish you all the very best in your recovery.

    Let us know how you get on at the GPs.

    Pete

  • HI, so sorry your feeling this way and no you need help, both of you it sounds like. Please contact your GP, I have been off work with stress and depression and my GP has been wonderful, so have MIND. It is also very important you discuss it with someone as this gets it out. I know how you feel, tears start, but its part of the healing process, but I don't want to waffle on, but you need help please.

  • Hi Sally, my heart goes out to you for the pain you are having at the moment. Pete has also given you a lovely reply here 

    It’s a great start to see your GP and not necessarily to be prescribed any types of anti-depressants, if you ever want to take that route make sure it’s your choice not your doctors. But it would also be a very good idea just to have a routine blood check as you wouldn’t believe some of the small imbalances in our bodies that can aggravate depression, for instance this time of the year we can all be very low in vitamin D, and a supplement like that from your doctors can also help and there are so many little things like that for your doctor to check.

    Sadly depression is getting to be more and more prevalent in our society, possibly due to our changes in what we put into our bodies in the amount of processed foods we now eat. Also the health profession is growing in support of these symptoms, but unfortunately there isn’t a one approach to cure all and you may have to look in several direction to get what is right for you. There is some great help on the internet and some great books about, depending on what you find easier to focus on.

    Paul Gilbert has some lovely lectures on youtube, and there is a great book called the depression cure by Dr Steve Ilardi that I would certainly recommend, he talks about simply solutions to distract yourself from focusing on the negative thinking. Again there is so much out there like meditation and mindfulness that is proven to help in certain situations.

    It’s lovely to be there for others, but you have to realize your own limitations with your friend, you cannot help her other than sympathize, or ask her if she would like to go for a walk or something like that, if you share a house, have some fun in the kitchen it’s a great stress buster sometimes and then there is also the entertaining side if you invite other friends along? but it’s best to maybe just gently talk of something other than her very sad feelings, as that will not help either of you. Distraction an instant depression cure and everything takes time, but it does help you slowly come back to a more stable platform where you can get your life more and more in order the way you would like.

    As you have already found in your young life, depression does come and go. Sometimes you think that it never goes away and this is who you are, but this really is never the case, it just needs a little more work to find the solutions and there are always solutions. Don’t be afraid or ashamed of these emotions, there probably isn’t anyone who doesn’t suffer in some form or another, some people have just developed their own coping mechanisms to get back on track without sinking too low down.

    Hold on in there and don’t shut yourself inside with your thoughts, be it listening to music that you love, immersing yourself in a good book, hobbies and interests, anything that forces your thoughts in a different direction from telling yourself that you are very down. There isn’t a magic pill in life, but remember that you cannot get anywhere without taking a ‘first step’ and happiness is often like that journey where a thousand ‘first steps’ will eventually get you to your destination.

    Lots of hugs xx

  • So sorry you feel this. It is draining to feel this way. Of course you must see your GP and ask her for talking therapy. I was very bad when I had my girl and didn't go to see anyone coz I was ashamed it went downhill very fast and very badly. 3 very bad years and still lingering but I am dealing with it and it is much rarely that I get down. Living with someone with depression and anxiety makes yours worse. I started going for classes like dance, life skills, parenting any free classes that was available. I know you don't feel like it but try singing dancing exercising with your friend even if it is just going for a walk. Watch comedies....... but you will get over it there is a light at the end. It will take time but you will get there. Slowly train your brain to do happy things. I still feel stupid and have no confidence.

    Hope you and your friend feels better

  • Hi Sally - you have such a lovely name. I don't know many people called Sally. Going to the GP about depression can be a really frightening and daunting task, but the relief you will feel afterwards is amazing. If you don't feel you can say the words, try writing them down. You can always drop a note at the reception the day before your appointment if you don't want the GP to read it in front of you? Everybody here understands Sally x

  • I am overwhelmed by the replies, everyone here is so thoughtful and you all seem to know the right thing to say. I already had an appointment booked in at the doctors for something else but I decided this was more important so I just came out and said it!

    It was really hard as I was holding back a huge breakdown but the doctor I saw was really thoughtful, she has referred me to a counselling service.

    I think it will be quite a long waiting time to be seen but at least its done now. Another appointment is booked with her for 2 weeks time. I'm going to try and write down how I'm feeling because I find talking so so hard and I tend to go off track and purposely talk about something else to avoid anything that might make me upset.

    I feel a relief that I've spoken to her but I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone else about it yet so maybe I will speak to the counsellor about that. Something I definitely need to work on is getting over my embarrassment and being more open.

    Honestly thank you all so much for taking the time to reply, its really so kind of you.

  • Hi Sally and well done on going to Dr . I am delighted that you

    Plucked up the courage to go, it's always hard the first time.

    Writing down things is great and bring it with you to Dr. You

    Are young so it's great that you are getting help.

    Take care of yourself and good luck with everything .

    Hannah x

  • I come from a similar situation as you (minus the suicidality). I suffer from depression and ADHD, which I'm certain are the result of a negative environment growing up. My father was borderline schizophrenic (always losing his jobs) and my mother always crying and worrying about how to feed the family... And being gay made life even more difficult. When you're forced to endure aversive, painful and unpleasant events in your life, you break down and develop the "so-called" diseases such as depression, ADHD, anxiety and panic attacks. Some of us are more able to spring back into shape after bending than others—but everyone breaks down to a certain degree—with the action of killing oneself intentionally as a result of extreme despair. You are not alone. Some people are dealt shitty cards growing up. Until society deals every player a royal flush, we won't be free of anxiety and its effects. Life can be terrible, but it's important to go on. Continue to stay close with your friends. Hang with them, laugh with them, share with them.

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