Mental Health Support

27,563 members • 15,838 posts

I'm new here and need help

How do I even start I dint know. Dont even know what part of my life went wrong.

So here is the story: I was a bright student, good at studies, sincere enough and a perfectionist but now I am just lost at the age of 25. I do have a job but I feel I dont fit well (after spending a good amount of time coming to the decision that this is only I want to do, ie, marketing), i am scared and anxious all the time, I have become careless about myself, my health.

I just cant shake off the feeling, tried everything from talking to parents, friends, to spending time alone to understand what is making me feel this way. I find everything difficult and stressful to handle though all can flawlessly carry out their work, I know I am capable enough to do good for myself but this self-doubt is killing me.

Do anyone here feels the same way too!

12 Replies

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Hi and welcome. Yes self doubt is huge for me. I was in a job 5 weeks after many successful roles prior but I self pressured so bad I broke down and now looking for another job. Hit rock bottom now constant fear, panic and tears. So u are not alone.

Hi blossomgirl, after reading your message I think I have done the same thing. Trying to prove myself my over-shooting the targets and taking lot on my plate and I guess this is just a temporary meltdown

Hi Restless __Soul,

I am very sorry to hear about your difficulties. It is not a nice feeling to be scared and anxious.I wonder if there are any particular situations or issues that make you feel more anxious.Perhaps a visit to your Gp. for a chat may help and also perhaps a referral for counselling may provide you with an opportunity to explore your issues in more depth with a therapist. Often, just getting to know the causes of our anxieties and learning new strategies to cope can help. Counselling can be on a 1:1 face to face usually once a week or some Gp .surgeries or the NHS may offer Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, usually known as (CBT). Check this out with your Gp to access support for yourself. Also to the right of the screen under Pinned Posts, have a look at the Crisis Support helplines. There are a variety of mental health charities offering support varying from telephone helplines, to sending e-mails or just browsing through the information posted.

I hope that other members of this supportive forum will come along beside you and offer their advice and experiences and wisdom. May I offer you the very best of luck and keep us informed of how you are doing, with very best wishes.

Thank you so much for the support. Sometimes I feel you find peace of mind when you are talking anonymously with people who have been through the same phase and can understand you without judging you

Hi and welcome to the forum. Let me put you at ease if I can. Everyone. I mean everyone, has self doubt at some point. This is entirely normal. At your age I was in a mess too. I ended up doing a short stint in prison because of drugs. That was my wake up call. When I came out I retrained ( I had drifted into building jobs) I learned IT and programming and just over 20 years later I'm the Head Of Technical Worldwide for a computer company. At 25 I finally understood my teachers as a child "Could do better".

We are all our own worst critics. Give yourself a break. A rather simplistic view I know as I'm familiar with how hard it is to break certain thought cycles.

Wonderful turnaround! Glad to hear you're not the typical statistic of reciprocity. You made me smile. 😊

Welcome to you. How I wish there'd been a forum like this when I was younger. I twice had meltdowns at work and ended up resigning from two jobs I loved because I thought I wasn't good enough. Please try counselling as suggested and I'm sure it'll help rebuild your confidence. It sounds like you're in the right job so with a little help I hope you'll be enjoying it again. Good luck x

Hey dude, you're not alone at all. And your right talking anonymously in a place like this is awesome and you can be free to speak your mind and tell people how you feel. It's a great community with some amazing people, so, welcome aboard.

Many many people feel the same way you do and to be honest, at 25 years old many people feel lost and are looking for more purpose and carry a ton of self doubt, they just all don't show it. I'd argue that having self doubt can be a very powerful thing.

How have you stopped taking care of yourself and health? Boozing/eating junk food etc.? Bit more info there would be awesome, I might be able to give you some solid advice.

There's a lot of people here who can help for sure and have been through or are going through many of the same feelings you describe.

Have you been to your GP at all? Or do you feel like it isn't needed at this stage?

Self doubt is a huge thing and most people have it. I'm petty successful with what I do professionally but I carry a ton of self doubt (and let me let you into a little secret: pretty much everyone has self doubts) and in some ways it can be a driver to be better. In my humble opinion it is a less known strength.

For now, here's a TED talk by Brene Brown entitled 'the power of vunerability', it's really really good and worth watching for sure.

youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o

Hit us back with a bit more info.

Be excellent to one another

Journeywithoutmaps.

Hi everyone I have just read a post that touches me I like the person am the same situation I am so sick of fighting every day with this depression I can only see one way out of this mental torture I have said to my phycitrist and my CPN and Doc there's nothing they can do.ive asked my husband to let me go I just don't enjoy life.ive been put on mitszipine helps sleep and it puts weight on me another horrible feeling fat looking fat so I don't think it's helpful. I dread every day.x

Hi! Still in hospital after 4 months ( complicated story but 80 now.) but just managed to get on line. Help please - how do I actually reply to posts ? Forgotten half my passwords etc and on hospital Internet. Please keep it simple! I was originally 4 old nan but now Nangan. Thanks!

Hi! Don't despair! It is just simply a choice when you wake up each day. Chose to be happy and stay smiling not wasting your life on panic attacks etc. I should know! I should know- husband sent lovely 80 th birthday message email as I was staying briefly in London for few days, but concluded by way applying for divorce? So I am now homeless? Panic attacks wow! Never had one before! Few days of quite a few daily and in despair but then changed my mind,. Told myself, hey I am a person! I want to live and enjoy life! Hole up and write a daily diary of how you feel, grin at people! Chat to the dustbin men,the cleaners, any body ,they are all wearing their own moccasins so don't try to get them to wear yours. See the sunshine? Great, admire the colour of the grass, the autumn leaves, the sparrows, anything! Just five minutes maybe? Watch some silly program on TV ,have a giggle! God bless.

Hi there! I am really glad that you posted this!

There are a lot of us in the same boat!!

I left my job last month and am now unemployed for the first time in my life. I have been working full-time since the age of 16 and am now just discovering what it is like to not have a job!! AARRGGHH!!...(just walked out at lunch time and never went back??.. Seriously, and I'm 51 years of age too....you'd think I would know better at my age, but these feelings/this feeling can get you at any age!!). I had already left a job which I have described on here as "toxic" and thought I had bagged myself another "cracking" job but after a week, I felt 10 times worse than I did when I was in the last one. I am a qualified Legal Secretary and considered by all who know me as "really clever"...Wasnt too clever that day was I??..I was walking down the street and feeling really strange. I was in the middle of the city in Glasgow, lunch-time rush hour and I felt sick and dizzy all of a sudden. Everywhere there were people talking and the traffic was really busy. I could see people's mouths opening and closing and see the traffic moving but I couldnt hear anything. It was as if for a few moments I experienced what it was like to be deaf. The feeling of panic was unbelievable and I felt as though my throat was slowly closing over. I dont even remember getting on the train to go home I just think my legs took over the job of my brain and knew exactly what to do. I hope I never live to feel like that again. But just now, at this moment, there is not a day goes by when I don't feel scared. I tend to be able to hide this well and keep telling myself that once I get back into work I will feel like the old me again. But right now my health is more important, especially my mental health. (I think its great that we can discuss our mental health openly these days. In days gone by this would have been very taboo and you just "had to get on with it").

So you see, you are not alone my friend. Keep posting. If you can even try breathing exercises every time you feel that anxiousness creeping up on you, it may help.

Something else for you to ponder, did you know that some of the most famous people on earth have suffered like this too? Its a well known fact that Winston Churchill suffered terribly with depression. He used to call his depression his "Black Dog" and there are plenty of others too. Most comedians who have us rolling about laughing whilst watching them on TV suffer from depression and anxiety too.

You are definitely not alone.

Keep your chin up (and keep talking!!).

XXXXXX

PS..Self doubt is something most of us suffer from. I think a lot of us go round thinking we are "not good enough". We need to start believing we "are good enough". We have been put on this earth for a reason too and deserve to be here!! Please remember that!! XX