I have suffered from depression for most of my life, everyday is a battle. Don't get me wrong there have been days when I don't think about it and I have had fun but sooner or later I come crashing down. My brain hardly ever slows down so I have to keep it busy by making things or playing games. But I am in a dark place again now and I have lost all interest in my hobbies. It is all I can do too keep myself clean and prepare food. I don't clean the flat I just can't face it, my place is knee deep in rubbish and that is not an exaggeration.

I am lonely. I have friends at a sewing group i make myself go to but I haven't been for a few weeks as I have no interest. I feel like I am drowning. I have asked about local groups but there aren't any but I know there must be more people around here with depression. When I was first diagnosed there was a day hospital I used to go to and I made a lot of friends there some of whom I saw for years after. But that has closed.

I used to have a support worker but she left and the one I was given and I never really clicked so that ended.

My whole life has been a round of one failure after another, I don't seem to be able to do anything right. I feel like a waist of space and I think my family see me as that too.

Sometimes I wish I could be reborn and just start all over again right from day one, but I think I was born this way so that probably wouldn't change anything anyway.

The only thing that keeps me going are my cats. They make me smile and feel better for a few minutes, I love them so much and they don't judge me. But then I don't think anyone judges me more harshly than I do.

I need help, I know that, but I have nowhere to turn.

Any suggestions?

3 Replies

  • Hi Suzie I'm really sorry that your in the depths of it. I do know that feeling

    And it's awful. You are not a waste of space, you are a valuable lovely person

    Who is struggling at the moment.

    I have a Cat and am a big cat lover. You seem to realise what the problem

    Is, you just need to get out and connect with people be it in a craft group

    Or Depression Support Group.

    Is there anyone who could give you a hand to do a bit of cleaning.

    It's always easier once you start. Maybe try and do 15 mins tidying

    Or cleaning in the room that you use most. That alone will help you.

    I gave been totally incapacated all week with back pain, so I could do

    Very little.

    You will get through this , but try and make a start to help yourself,

    Even though it seems like impossible, starting will build momentum.

    Hope this helps Suzie.



  • Thank you for your support. I did make myself go out yesterday and i popped into the shop where I do my sewing and ended up staying the rest of the day helping make some things for the window display. I had a really good day and today I am going to tackle some of the cleaning.

    Being alone all the time I forget how much we need people around.

    Thank you again for replying it means a lot to me.

    Take care


  • Hi Suzie hope your feeling ok and a bit better too. It sure helps

    To get out and I know myself I stay in far too much. At the moment

    It's because of back pain that I am stuck inside.

    You do begin to get cabin fever, what sort of sewing do you

    Do Suzie? It's nice to do crafts, like you I am a bit browned off

    At the moment and all I do is rest and hobble around. I'm

    Having MRI tomorrow and hopefully this will show up what causing

    The pain.

    Hugs and stuff

    Hannah x

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