Please Help Me


I'm 16 and I feel like I have depression but I have no idea what to do. Its happened over the last few months as I had developed bad IBS and that had me feeling low. Then a family member recently died and I now don't want to speak to my friends or boyfriend, I have got an extremely low self esteem (ugly, fat, a waste of space), I have no energy anymore, I hate myself, I don't want to try because I feel like I fail everything, I feel sick a lot of the time, always negative and I've been having bad thoughts and actions (self harm).

I haven't told my parents because they think I'm overreacting about everything and an attention seeker, I love my parents but I think they don't want to talk to me.

What should I do?

22 Replies

  • I feel for you my parents gave me grief when I couldnt work because of bad anxiety, can you go to your doctor just ring yourself, on your mobile if you can

    I have just been to see my doctor because I feel very depressed, hate my weight gain and am very lonely

    My mum used to say your so sensitive then slag me off

  • I'm glad I'm not alone

  • Hi, I have had depression for 25 yrs and also suffer depression. I am not the authority on these things but just as one person to another, this is what I would suggest to you, were you my friend. Think about if there is any family, friend or school teacher etc you can trust, if so speak to them. There are a few things you can do but your best call is always your GP, especially if you have IBS, depending on the severity of it. Pick a GP you are familiar with, or check out support in you area, what area are you from and I will see what I can find. I run a support page on facebook and know well the support available here, but I am happy to research some support networks for you. Try your GP first, it could be that the IBS is related to something else. I have a physical illness, with IBS also and it causes mental health illnesses to. It could be something else or it could be down to stress over the last few months. Did it start when you were doing your exams perhaps? What do you think triggered it?

  • I think I gained a bit of weight that I hated and I did start my exams so I do think that triggered it but its just been a downward spiral since then.

  • I have been through hell and back most of my life, but is it that, that, is just life? If your lucky you get a great life, but most people have their problems we just dont talk about them. 1 in every 4 people in the uk have mental illness. My friends have no idea I have suffered mental illness for 25yrs. I always put on a front and pretend I am this bubbly happy person.

  • Life is just like that but it just seems worse for me I guess and thank you

  • The spirral may go back up, it doesnt always go down, it goes up and down

  • Also if it is urgent medical assistance NHS24 have their own Community Psychiatric Nurse on call, they can send you, this is only on emergencies

  • Hi there,

    Sorry you are feeling so poorly. Sounds like you don't know what to do and where to turn which is horrible for you! Being a teenager is a roller coaster at the best of times and don't be too hard on yourself! We don't let other people say the things we say to ourself do we? I've caught myself doing the same - it's not something to beat yourself up about as well though! Lol.

    You have been though so much and your IBS is likely stress related I'd say - I have it too so I know how awful it is. You have lost somebody as well and importantly this will have had a massive effect on you! You actually are doing well to recognise that things aren't so right for you!

    It's hard to know what to say to people,and its hard to get it into words isn't it? And scary of we think they don't want to listen. it is especially true when you think that you don't have the right to feel that way / you are unimportant. You are not the only person to feel this way so start from the place where its ok, maybe keep a diary and get your thoughts down. Go to your gp, and if you are in school do you have a counsellor? I have heard good things about youth counselling services as well and most areas have this, talk to your gp / google local youth counselling or ring your social service contact centre, they will find the numbers for you - or get your boyfriend to if you can't - it's always best to try and do it yourself though so you can have a chat and say what you need.

    But please please don't be too hard on yourself. And well done for posting, don't be afraid to ask other questions or come back xxxxxxxx hugs to you

  • You're right; being a teenager is rubbish!

    I do let things get to me, and because of that I hate myself and everyone is lying to me when they compliment me now which just makes me feel worse because now no one is trustworthy.

    My IBS I think is caused by stress and fluid intake (lack of it) and I'm glad someone can say they have it too because it's embarrassing and horrid.

    We have councillors and youth places but they don't listen and they will lie to me.

    Thank you though,


  • Please keep hope, this will make you a stronger person, although it doesnt feel that way now. Do you think u can go to your gp, they will listen, they have new mental health protocols they have to follow.

  • I'll see, I've just been there a lot recently so I think they'll think I'm a attention seeker, as stupid as it sounds, they may then not take me seriously.

  • It's very hard for you, why don't you trust anybody and think they are lying to you? Why don't you drink more fluids and be abit kinder to yourself. I know its hard, been there (!), but you are your own best friend, what would you say to you? It's hard to break habits and do nice things for yourself, even though it feels like dragging yourself through mud you do need to do it and stop yourself saying the bad things as its habit forming. Not easy I know, the best place to start then is your gp. Don't be defeatist, think of what you want your life to look like. Write it down and break it down into manageable steps rewarding yourself when you achieve something. That gives confidence, and is also a good exercise in allowing yourself to not always get it right as well. You won't get a medal for how much you suffer, only you will suffer more.

    What makes you happy? What do you enjoy? Schedule things and plan, have a good chat to you about how well you are doing. Dare to be happy, remember - other people can support us but they don't have a magic wand, don't look for people to let you down, ask for what you need.

    That's a lot of information for you. Get a piece of paper and go through it. Happy to chat through anything if it helps lovely girl xx

  • I think people are lying to me about everything, mainly my appearance, i have no idea why, I just do.

    Its not I'm stopping myself from drinking, it's just a habit since I was about 9, so it's and to get over but I'm trying to drink more.

    Honestly, I have no idea what I'd say to myself, I do logically think: "why am I doing this?" then the other self-conscious side overwhelms the logical side and says "because you deserve it".

    I love sports, but I don't want to because I feel like people are judging me and think of me negatively.

    Thank you for all your help xx

  • I have to go now, if yu need chat morrow i will check on you on here. Take care X

  • Thank you, take care also xxx

  • We have all been teenagers so can all relate to you. Teens are an awful time anyway without all this you are going through. I can totally relate to how you are feeling as I often feel the same way myself. You are not alone.

    Go and see your doctor please love. I am sure they can help.

    Bev xx

  • Thank you xxx

  • hi givemethe cookies hope you are feeling better and getting the help you need. teenage years are the worst but it does get better. I hope you go and see your gp to get on some meds and maybe some counselling. I remember you messaging me and you were so kind and supportive. I feel I have to try and repay you. if you feel like talking again just post a message on here. I know what its like to lose someone important to you. thanks again for being you.

  • omg . . .I can empathise with you totally. The thing is about depression, no-one can ever understand what it feels like unless they've had it.

    It's such an isolating thing - whatever your age. I have felt exactly what you feel at various stages of my life . ."low self esteem, no energy, hating myself, not wanting to try because I feel like I fail everything, feeling constantly sick"

    Is there a GP you could go and see? Im a firm believer that the sooner you start to make in-roads into stabilising and rationalising your moods then the sooner you will start to feel better.

    It's not much - but I hope this helps

    Stay strong and keep posting xxxx

  • Wow. its tough for me to cope with depression with quite a few years of experience of life but I wouldn't want it as a teenager.

    From the thoughts and feelings you express it does sound like depression. with all those recent challenges and stresses it is not surprising you have developed this. Please try to accept it is an illness and not just you. It's not about strength or resilience or just not coping, it is a disease that many people get.

    That is the most difficult part of the disease, it does make you doubt yourself and others. It makes talking with others difficult and shuts you off from the people you need.

    My logical and rational side still fights the flawed thinking and self conscious side that stops me doing so much and instills fear of making contact with others.

    My GP did help me. does it make sense to the logical side of you to go?

    It takes a few weeks for the medication to kick in if you need it so seek advice as soon as you can.

    Please let your parents know that you think you may be depressed. Ask them to research it before you discuss it one evening so you will get understanding rather than lots of questions.

    If you cant ask them, leave them a note to say you want to talk later and ask them to look into it to help you get an understanding.

    If you cant do that with your parents try it with someone you trust.

    Depression put so many doubts in your head it is hard to break out of negative spirals. contacting others does help.

    You have made a great step by sharing your thoughts here, please continue by finding support locally.

    Take care.

  • When I read your post, apart from the IBS, that's how I felt as a teenager. I think being a teenager were some of the worst years of my life.

    It would be really good if you could find someone who you could talk to, who you feel would listen and who could help you. It sounds like you would need help dealing with the issues you have. Please don't feel like you are wasting anyone's time or that you are not worth it (that's what I used to think and one of the reasons that put me off speaking to people). Although you may worry that you are wasting people's time, I bet if you asked them they would say no and if they didn't then they wouldn't be the right person to speak to. I have had useless GPs who have made me feel worse and sometimes had to really fight to get help. I know it's really hard, but if you do speak to someone and they are not helpful then keep trying as you will find someone good.

    One of the main things I would change if I went back to my teenager years, would be to speak to someone. I wouldn't want you to suffer any more than you are or go through some of the things I did.

    I don't know how you would feel about the following; speaking to the school nurse, any of the GPs or the practice nurse, teacher, or contacting any of the following ;

    There is always Childline but I know they can be quite busy.

    I wish I could make things better for you as you do sound a nice person and going through depression is horrible.

    I suffer long term with depression and anxiety and I have found from experience that when I'm starting to feel worse it's better to get help sooner than later.

    It would be nice to know how you get on and I hope things get better for you.


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