An update and brief story of ill health

[hoalarg]

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to update you all with where I am and where I've been in terms of my health. It's a long story (like so many people) but I will do my best to condense it. I should add that I have posted many times before in the last four months but this is more in depth.

I have been very ill. Although I have had loads of physical symptoms, the most alarming have been mental/emotional/psychological. For most of my life I have lived in fear - of dying, becoming ill, of people, of getting hurt, of social situations. You name it. OCD has been a part of most of my life, starting with simple rituals as a child, then developing into more complex things in adulthood. I have seen everyone there is to see and been on anti-depressants for 15 years. I had group therapy for nine years, but apart from the practical things it never really got to the bottom of it. I have felt crazy for large parts of my life, suffering from severe depressions, once losing four years of my life after a relationship break up, moving back in with my parents as a 26 year old. I have really struggled with concentration, memory and general comprehension of what I read and hear.

Now I am 45 and much has happened. I have always been searching for the 'Truth'. I am determined in many ways. I've always known that something is wrong, but feel that I have always been dealing with the symptoms (sound familiar?).

Some years ago I went gluten free and instantly I felt better, feeling so called normal for the first time. However this changed when I got a metal filling. This led me to looking into mercury fillings and after doing a hair analysis test, I found out I was mercury toxic. I had all of my amalgam removed. I also noticed that so many of the key mercury symptoms were what I was experiencing, especially the 'mad hatters' symptoms. Over the last couple of years I have chelated trying to remove it using a safe protocol, using key vitamins and antioxidants.This led me to experience some good improvements but it was hard on my endocrine system.

So (I hope you're still following me) this led me to Thyroid and adrenal. Mercury is said to really hurt these areas. I took a thyroid test which showed TSH of 8 and T4 below range and T3 low in range. This confirmed for me that I had primary hypothyroidism. Plus I have so many symptoms, low temp, aches and muscle pains, constipation, night sweats, tiredness and weakness, etc, etc. But how long had I had it? I never saw the doctor about this, and I'm not sure if I ever had a thyroid check throughout umpteen trips to the docs all my life. So anyway, firstly I boosted my adrenals with key supplements, diet and adrenal cortex, before then adding NDT. Although I am only on one and half grains so far, I already have noticed improvements: more energy, more positive, less brain fog, less anger and irritable, reduced itchiness in ear canal, better mood, greater motivation. And the fear is a bit less too!

I don't want to say too much because I have had so many false summits in the past, but things do look better. I obviously have more dose increases to make. I have noticed worsening symptoms when I have increased dose too slowly, now I'm increasing by half instead of quarters.

I don't know how long I've had this problem, but I do know that I've had these symptoms for about 30 years, maybe more. Here's hoping that I can continue to come alive even further and start to lead a fulfilling life. There's still a long journey ahead

I hope that this is of help to people who are also searching for answers.

[webar4780]

Good luck with your journey. Interesting post. Yes, many people struggle on in life, never being diagnosed, or, being incorrectly diagnosed.... well done, pursuing your own truth!

[cwill]

Well done for finding the tenacity to keep looking. Most of us have had far too many years of illness and not wholly helpful doctors. Please keep us all up to date as we need to know what you have learnt and to celebrate your achievements with you.

[hoalarg in reply to cwill]

Thanks. Yes i certainly will. I keep reminding myself that even if I don't make any more progress from this point on, I'll have learnt that NDT did something. Yes there's still plenty of pessimism there (as you can see), but no wonder. Luckily I have had my writing to help me through it, and one day surely a story must be told.

[cwill]

I am writing my story at present in short chunks. It is hard to relive the worst times but whilst my story is of a long decline and many lost years like you, I feel that as I am one of perhaps a small number that have found their way through I must celebrate and publicise the fact that I am getting somewhere. My main diagnosis initially was CFS/ME with the stats suggesting that fewer than 10% of us making anything like a full recovery. A way to go yet but even last August I was still largely bed-based. Now chair-based and eyeing up the world.

Re pessimism you may want to check out Martin Seligman and his writings on optimism. He was one of the key players I think in the theory that positive mental states lead to better outcomes in many areas and went on to say that optimism can be learnt. I don't in any way mean to suggest that the rest of our journeys are simply defined by our mental states and expectations, but it is an area worth considering. I know that my total belief that I was going to be one of the 10% kept me searching when my doctors were happy to tell me to not come to see them anymore.

[hoalarg in reply to cwill]

Sounds like you've been through it too. Our progress is all relative so making it to a chair from the bed is great. I do hope you continue to make progress. Writing can be a great outlet when you feel so restricted.