Just checking in...

Morning all,

Well, driving home last night - maybe a penny dropped for me, I hope so.

I've been so damned frustrated at caving in 2 weeks ago. I just didn't understand why. Well, I'm beginning to think this has something to do with it. The twice before that I've managed to not smoke for a short time, deep down, my attitude has been - I'll see how long I can manage without a smoke.

Well, that just doesn't work. It's been like - I've been challenging the ciggies to a contest. And there's no way anyone can stay stopped that way... nicotine's gonna win hands down every time like that. This isn't a game of who's going to win this time - Me or It. I have to get out of the game. Like a Boxer in a boxing ring, I keep getting knocked down time and time again. So, why don't I get out of the Boxing Ring instead?... Game over! All I'm trying to say is - my attitude hasn't been right. It's been a defeatist one... never really being convinced I could stay stopped.

So, I'm not sure just how I'm going to do this... But, for the next few days, I'm going to try and be really honest - with me, before I decide on another day to quit. It's not got be "hum, I wonder how long i go before I give in again". Next time... and I'll really have to get my head sorted for this - It's going to have to be an honest desire to stop & stay stopped.

Instead of me just talking to myself (as usual), I thought It better to write it down here. Makes it more concrete somehow.

Have a good Monday folks, no matter what it tosses at us today. And thanks for your support. Gill, xx

[dawlol 18 Months Winner]

You will do it when your ready Gill! You are right you have to have the right

attitude or else it will never work. Good luck my love xxx

[Hidden in reply to dawlol]

See what I mean...about this Support Site? Folks are always there for you! Thanks dawlol. xx

[jillygirl Administrator LONG TERM WINNER]

hi Gillyflower,

Your right your brain has to say don't need ciggys, I feel better and healthier without them. After all they are only bits of paper with lots of poisons wrapped up in them. would you drink a couple of teaspoons of cyanide? No. well why wrap it in paper and smoke it. It really frightened me when I saw what cigarettes contain. ( and I did pay the price for smoking them) Keep thinking positive you can and will be a non smoker sooner than what you think.

Any doubts just come on site we are all here for each other. : ) xxxxx

[thenunn]

Gilly I totally can relate to you on the mind set..the 'wonder how long before I cave thinking..even though it may not be right in the front of the mind..it is there and yes is defeatist.

We need that 'sod off' nic I am done with smoking thinking. Every one says you will do it when you're ready,but I thnk its more than that,its knowing you want to stop first,then its sorting the mental attitude,the building a tool kit,the knowing and wanting to stop,the stopping and staying stopped..the knowledge that if a never smoker took a fag and smoked it he would more than likely never smoke again,but if an ex smoker that the same he would more than likely start smoking just as he had . I want to be able to sit relaxed watching a film,be out with friends laughing,having a coffee without any thoughts of nic ,because my desire ,my addiction for him is dead..thats my goal .

Big hugs and lots of good wishes for your quit. (apologies for spelling my pain meds are affecting my mind lol) xx jan

[sue52 3 YEAR WINNER]

Your so right Gillyflower, and when you have the right mindset you will stop, we will all help you through this xxx

[simba196 18 Months Winner]

Yes I agree with all the comments. I have tried and failed on numerous occasions because I was stopping because I thought I had to because it was not sociable and expensive it was not for me but because I thought that what I should do. I have now stopped for 8 days and do seem to have a better understanding I am now stopping for me, for my health to allow me to continue to live how I want to. You have to be ready yourself otherwise you will fail and this will knock you back again. You will know when the time is right. Keep coming on the site which I found inspirational and has kept me going. Thinking of you. Suecx

[simba196 18 Months Winner]

Sorry welcome back Sue nice to know that you are settled at home. Take care lots of hugs. Suecx

[Hidden]

Thanks again everyone... for all your understanding help. This is right where I should be... here, with all the support I need. xxx PS Glad you're home again Sue. xx

[sue52 3 YEAR WINNER]

Thank you Sue c and Gillyflower, I'm glad to be here again with all you wonderful people xx

[simba196 18 Months Winner]

Yes it. Nice to read your posts again Sue Keel warm suecx