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Is the problem stopping smoking, or is it just me?

It's my 12th day of quitting now, and I hadn't realised how difficult it would be. It isn't craving the cigarette exactly, it is missing my friend, (I know it was the enemy from a health point of view, but it was mine, for me, and always there for me). A long time, 43 years, with a couple of brief quits for having babies. It's so I can be around for these grown up babies and family that I am quitting.

Somehow my ability to wait for my moment to take a break, then have the fag, then carry on OK, held whatever I was, or am together. Smoking was something that just seemed to keep everything else ticking along. Now I am so sad, and really feeling quite depressed :(. I am cross with me for feeling this way, for being this stupid person, so sorry for myself. Need to buck up and get on with it, so I'd better find something to do. But I have to admit I could weep much of the time, and am ashamed of myself.

Thanks for listening/reading. I have never been on a forum, or whatever this is, before. So lots of new things happening.

By the way, I lost 10 lbs over the last couple of months, for my health, so am on a pretty restricted diet. I thought I'd better lose weight before I quit, cos I put such a lot on the last most successful attempt. I NEED to keep this up, it makes me want to get up in the morning because I can weigh myself, see no weight gain, and be succeeding at something. So no chocolate treats allowed! :)

16 Replies

Hey Betts,

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on making it past your 1st week and almost to the end of your 2nd week. You are doing really, really well :-)

You've made the biggest step by actually setting a quit date and now you are in the process of stopping smoking and working out how you can stay stopped. We can help you out with this part :-)

We have some lovely members on here and everyone has their own experiences and journey to share :-)

It's pretty normal for you to be feeling this way, especially if you have been doing almost the same thing for over 43 years now. The main thing that is important, is for you to try and stay as positive as possible and recognise that all these times that you feel a bit :-( are good signs that all those toxins and poisons (from your so-called friend) are leaving your body :-)

As you have already said yourself, smoking just SEEMED to keep everything ticking along, it's funny how much power we give to something that isn't even living, doesn't have a brain, a heart even... but most certainly has the loudest shout ever and is able to have us at it's beck and call as it wants! ;-/

Rather than it being your friend, try and look at it as you are... (were!) it's slave...

Try and think about what favours this friend of your has done for you, okay it may take your mind off something for a short amount of time. However, it's not taking your mind off things, it's actually stealing your time and energy (and money)!

Please don't feel sad or or even stupid, as I have already said, these feelings are all quite normal.

Lets help keep you focused and keep you on track, you've got this far already so are doing really well :-)

Thinking about all the other times that you have given up before, this just shows that stopping smoking really is something that you want to do. You've just had a good few practices beforehand so you can learn something from those past experiences :-)

What are your main reasons for wanting to stop smoking? Try and think of a reason for yourself and not for anybody else, like the kids etc.

Please have a good nosie throughout our site and even in the archive sections with the blogs and question sections.

Let me know what date you gave up smoking and I'll pop you on our wall of winners :-)

Nobody said stopping smoking would be easy, but everyone says that it is worth it :-)

Well done again :-)

1 like

Thanks for getting back so quickly. I was surprised at how good it was to have someone out there, and caring. I can't type on my new phone yet though so had to wait to get back on the computer to reply.

The quit date was June 29th. I've been on a long walk this morning, just trying to keep busy, because I don't have a job just now, but do have a lot to do, if I can just concentrate long enough to remember what it is.

I am trying to be really positive. It has been important to me to have some bit of success with losing weight first, so maybe I CAN do this biggie, kick this smoking into touch. It is the hardest thing ever, but it's got to be worth it.


Well done to you Betts :-)

There are no 'maybe's' about it, you can quit and stay quit just as long as you remain positive and motivated. If at any time you are feeling a bit negative or low, then this is when you need to let us know so that we can help you out and keep you on track. Also, when you are doing really well, we also need to know as you deserve to have the recognition in how well you are doing :-)

Sharing the good and the hard times also helps others who may be going through the same thing as you :-)

I'll pop your quit date on our wall of winners :-)

I promise you, it definitely is worth it :-)

1 like



Thankyou Emjay


HI Betts, Well done on stopping smoking. I am jillygirl, like you I have smoked for a lot of years from being 17 . am now 63. I have been smokefree for 3 months now. I use a inhalator for when I need something to do with my hands or get a craving. This site has been my main source of help. The people on here are wonderful and so friendly. We all have our weaknesses and strong points and try to help each other. We also have a laugh on the way. Emjay and Claire our advisors are lovely and will do their best to help you., without patronising you. if you know what I mean. Please join in with us everyone is sure to welcome you. :)


Hi Jillygirl. Thanks for this, you have done amazing, 3 whole months, and that makes me think, well, maybe I'll be able to get there too!

I have got the inhalator in my mouth now, it gives me something to have, OK, my dummy :), but it is better than the smoke. I am not sure if it is the nicotine I need from it (I also have a patch) or the hand/mouth comfort. I haven't replaced the cartridge for a whole day, but have whipped it out of my pocket probably, say 12 times in the last 24 hours.

Thanks again :)


Hi Betts , you sound to be doing great. I think the inhalator is more something to do with the hands and mouth more than the nicotine. I think you will be fine. Well done!

If you get bored help me and Emjay out with Beatles theme. If you go on to todays blogs you will see how daft we are. Oops may be not Emjay, just me. :D


Hiya Betts, Andi here and welcome to our lovely community - you've come to the right place for help and support. I notice that you and I have some similarities:

1. I smoked for about 42 years before quitting.

2. I had never joined a forum or blogged before.

I think that's the main things! :o :D You are very lucky that hopefully you have family who may be able to give you some support. My main support are all the lovely people on this site. Please spend a bit of time reading the archives to see how we've all been managing the ups and downs of quitting smoking and then join in with our daily chat - always glad to have new people join us and share their experiences be they good or bad. :)

Andi :)


Thanks Andi. My family are not really too interested, but I have decided to point out that I feel a bit crazy at times, am sharper and overreact because I am doing a BIG thing, so be good to me! It helps me not to feel so guilty about not being perfect (not that I ever was) i.e. ' I am quitting smoking, it is very hard, and that's it, end of story, cut me some slack!' :)


This is my first post - been hovering around this site for a week - taking the occasional peek. This post made me want to join in. I have not started giving up yet because I dread the feelings Betts describes. She couuld be me! We have the same story apart from the fact that she has been braver and already made a start. I am still plucking up courage.


Hello mj51, Please please join us, you dont have to start with your quitting straight away. Emjay our advisor can contact you and help you start, without everyone knowing and seeing what your doing. Please give it a go. Emjay will be sure to contact you. :) If you decide not to join us just yet keep looking on the site, sure you will be encouraged. :)


It is good to know that there is someone like me out there, so pleased to 'meet' you mj51.

I am thinking of the things that got me here, to quitting, and so to this site of friends now.

About 3 months ago it started. So I have been planning a bit, even though it was a bit of a vague plan, taking a day at a time. I had health reasons, not major immediately, but not good, so could see that 10 years down the line, well, who knows, but I would likely not be too well, and certainly not fit, and maybe worse. So a now or never thing came over me. The 2 big things came up - losing weight and stopping smoking. Both impossible! But losing weight would be easier, lets face it, anything would! so I started on that, and had a bit of success, slowly, haven't lost loads, but just enough to feel I have succeeded in something.

Then I had to see the doctor again, and said I was planning to maybe, later, sometime, soonish, well, give up smoking, was there a clinic or counsellor or something? (That helped a couple of years ago when I tried, later went back to smoking :(.) He checked and there is one near enough where I live, the next day.

I went along, and before I knew it had had practically an hour of talking through, with a lovely counsellor, deciding I could try daily patches and also have an inhalator. She made me name a day, I did, very unsure, but it was locked in my mind, and after picking up the prescription, I had my tools to help. If I could do it. I didn't make the original quit day we said, but was working up to something, and took the plunge 2 days late.

I have since found out that Lloyd's chemists have trained up staff counsellors, and they are available at better times for working, though I haven't used that. I will stick with the clinic.

I'm sure it helps me to see someone weekly if I want, and be able to talk, including about how I feel, and be encouraged by seeing a zero on the carbon monoxide counter that I have to blow into. It was 27 on my first visit, and that's pretty high apparently.

Get all the help you can when you start, take everything you need. That is what I think I am doing. Fingers crossed, lots of luck!



Hi mj51,

welcome to our happy place :-)

I would say that you have taken the first big step already by making the decision to stop smoking. That means that you are already heading in the right direction :-)

As Jillygirl has already said, you don't have to quit straight away. We can help you plan towards a quit date all in your own time and at a time that suits you. However, if you decide to just read through everything and try and stop on your own, the best bit of advice I could probably give to you would be to stay as positive as possible and put a fair amount of time into thinking and planning beforehand - It sounds as though you have been doing this anyway :-)

Have you ever tried to stop before? If so, what is the longest you have ever lasted and did you use anything?

You have most definitely come to the right place, stopping smoking can be the most incredible journey you have ever chosen to take. It's not going to be an easy ride all the way, but it will be worth it and it can also be fun too. It all just depends on how you look at it :-)


Hi mj51 and welcome. Jilly and Emjay have said it all already.

It really is tough to start with and making the initial jump is the worst. The best advice I felt I was given was that I shouldn't tell anybody what I was doing. I don't know why but it seemed to worked for me and I'm now over 2 months down the road. I'd set myself a long quit date and something clicked in my head sooner (I think it was finding this site whilst doing research about all the different things you could do to help) and I just wanted to get on with it.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do and hopefully we'll see you joining in our chats soon - but if you don't want to then that's fine too.

Andi :)


Hi Betts...why not try the electronic cigaretts; they are slightly larger than normal cigs but may help.



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