Just thought I'd check in :)

[Muddles]

Hey everyone.....I've missed you all these last few weeks.

My life this last few weeks has been nothing short of a roller coaster ride in a washing machine. Everything I thought I knew and everything that made me feel safe has been turned upside down.

Those that know me here know my story so I won't go too much into it. To cut that long story short I'll fill you in on where my life is now heading.

After the death of my ex husband I travelled back to my hometown. It's a very small place less than 1500 people in country Victoria. His funeral was extremely sad and very traumatic for my three children (24, 23 and 20). Over 800 people attended which goes to show the type of guy he was. Only 49 years old but was a real community guy. He literally dropped dead in front of my son whilst making a cup of coffee. Goes to show that we really have to make the most of every minute of our lives. My 23 yo son still lives in the family home and so is feeling very lost and insecure now. Anyway because of my recent relationship breakup here in tasmania I feel there's nothing keeping me here and so am moving back to Victoria to be with my son. At least it's a town where I know everyone and I feel safe there. I move back this Friday.

The day my husband died I arrived back in town and was comforting my son on the verandah. He was smoking. Without thinking I reached for one. It didn't seem to matter under the circumstances. But unfortunately I haven't stopped since. I'd gone nearly 3 months without one before all this.

So.....

I vow to stop, again, next week. Not sure of the day but I'll let you know. Because I'm gonna need your support all over again.

I'll drop in more often once I'm settled and am looking forward to once again being smoke free. I'm glad to see you are all doing so well and that there are so many new faces on here. It's good to see.

Take care all and I promise to be back on track soon

Mardi x

[jillygirl Administrator Queen Bee]

Hello Mardi, So lovely to hear from you. I am glad your getting sorted out now, for both you and your son. Good luck with the move on Friday. Dont forget we are here for you. xx

[Muddles 10 MONTH WINNER in reply to jillygirl]

Thanks jilly......a bit like moving back to Victoria this site is also a bit of comfort knowing that you are all here xxx

[Pinkiezoom 26 Months Winner]

Wooohooo Mardi so great to hear from you, and i think you are doing the right thing moving back to be with your son.

I hope you are growing stronger by the day and well done you for choosing to quit next week.

xx

[Muddles 10 MONTH WINNER in reply to Pinkiezoom]

Thanks al....I take one day at a time :). Hope you are well and getting thru your recent upheavals as well xxx

[Briarwood Administrator Ducky]

Hi Muddles, having just read your story it really touched my heart. I'm sure your son will be so happy that you're moving back, so good luck with that and I'm sure that when you're ready to make the quit journey again, everyone here will help. Take care x

[Muddles 10 MONTH WINNER in reply to Briarwood]

Thanks briar and yes this instate place to be when trying to give up those evil white sticks!

[Wrighty500]

Hello Mardi I'm quite new on this site and have only just read your post. Such a traumatic time. I think your allowed to have a blip under the circumstances so don't beat your self up about having a cig. You will know when you want to start giving up again. Just take your time. Good luck returning to your home town. I didn't realise this site was world wide. It's quite amazing. Take care

[Muddles 10 MONTH WINNER in reply to Wrighty500]

Thanks wrighty and I'm glad you've found this site. Such a warm and supportive place to be. And yes it's found it's way all the way down under! Thanks for your caring words. I know I'll be on track soon enough x

[andi22]

Hi Mardi, wondered where you'd got to. Glad to hear that the worst of your troubles are behind you now and looking forward again. Good luck with the move and your new quit, I'm sure you'll manage to keep going this time. xx

[ChrissieG]

Hi Mardi, oh it's so lovely to hear from you and you sound so much happier and in control of what is happening now which is fantastic. It sounds like the perfect solution for you and your son and I just know that when you are setltled and ready you will succeed in your mission to stop smoking!

Wishing you loads of happiness in your new life xxx

[Muddles 10 MONTH WINNER in reply to ChrissieG]

Thanks chrissie xxx

[Kaprin]

Gosh it is so very good to hear from you again you have had a lot to deal with mardi ut so glad you are back home x x x

[Muddles 10 MONTH WINNER in reply to Kaprin]

Thanks Kap :). Yes 2014 can go jump! But feeling in control....for the minute!

[Hidden]

Hi Mardi

What a sad time you and your family are going through my thoughts are with you all. Glad you came back on this site, take care and good luck with everything xx

[Muddles 10 MONTH WINNER in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Beth yes I'm glad to be back......now to get this dreaded smoking under control!

[Fresher 8 MONTH WINNER]

Hi Mardi I'm new on here and have read your post, what an ordeal you've been through, good luck with everything and well done with all that you have achieved so far x

[Muddles 10 MONTH WINNER in reply to Fresher]

Thanks Fresher :). And nice to meet you x

[mrssunnyside]

Hi Mardi, Great to hear from you. Good luck with the move on Friday. Stay Strong, thinking of you. xx

[Muddles 10 MONTH WINNER in reply to mrssunnyside]

Thank you so much :). The support here is amazing x

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer]

Aup Mardi, its great to see you again gal

I know you have been through hell these last few weeks Mardi, but like I said before, your at the rock bottom, soooooo things can now only get better eh

When you decide to quit again, we will all be here for you gal, you know that eh we will help you in any way we can Yes Mardi, I think your making the right move as in going back to Victoria where your Son is living, you comfort him eh

Hey, dont you be a stranger to us, you get right back on here when you get sorted out eh

Speak soon Mardi Pete xx

[Muddles 10 MONTH WINNER in reply to monky]

Hey pete yep onwards and upwards for me :). I am looking forward to the move back home. Small country town = loads of support!

I'll miss Tassie. It's a little slice of heaven here and I needed to be here the last 4 years. But.....back to reality. I've had my hiatus and I feel so much more in control than I did 4 years ago when I arrived here. Despite all the heartache I know now that I can cope with just about anything that life has to throw at me

Don't you worry I'll be back here properly before you know it! Didn't think you could get rid of me that easily did you?

Glad to see you're wearing a badge! Puff that chest out and wear it with pride! Hopefully I'll be joining you soon!

Cheers

Mardi xxx

[Elemjay 1 Month Winner]

Hi Mardi,

like others have mentioned, I'm a newbie here too.

I am so sorry for your devastating loss.

You sound incredibly brave and strong.

I think you should look on your temporary smokes as a dieter should look on a chocolate binge. .. it's only permanent if you let it be.

It's just a wee hiccup and by the sounds of it you're practically back on track.

Keep us updated and lots of love xxx

[Muddles 10 MONTH WINNER]

Thanks elemjay

Yep just a hiccup.......I'll be smokefree before you know it

[EmJay Partner]

Hey Mardi, lovely to have you pop your head around the door

Glad that you are finding your way a bit now. Here if / when you need us, but you know that already

Best wishes for the move and take good care of yourself

xoxox