I have now got past six weeks and I have been gradually reducing my lozenge usage to the point that I now only take 2 – 3 a day. I have been chopping them in half to reduce my intake. Today, I haven’t taken any (yet). I went to the shops this morning and saw a man across the street who nodded his head slightly. This could mean that he is humming a Bananarama song, plotting to bring down the Brazillian government or possibly dreaming of a new kind of spread that tastes like earwax but looks like butter, it could be called ‘I can’t believe it’s not earwax’. Standing next to him was a girl with a bag probably containing a spoon. A spoon with which she intends to dig a tunnel to the moon just so she can look back and see the great wall of China.
I made an attempt to throw an apple thirty four miles just to avert their attention but I didn’t have an apple and my arms were acting up a bit anyway. I got to the shops eventually and bought some spoons and earwax spread but forgot to get a newspaper.
When I got home I thought to myself, “oh gosh, I forgot to bring back the helicopter”, it was then I realised that I have never had a helicopter and all the switches in my head are jammed full on.
Six weeks Five days – Still calm and inconspicuous
Drinking four gallons of bathwater doesn't help, This just makes you all blubby and full. But there are hardly any calories.