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That seems to have done the trick

I have now got past six weeks and I have been gradually reducing my lozenge usage to the point that I now only take 2 – 3 a day. I have been chopping them in half to reduce my intake. Today, I haven’t taken any (yet). I went to the shops this morning and saw a man across the street who nodded his head slightly. This could mean that he is humming a Bananarama song, plotting to bring down the Brazillian government or possibly dreaming of a new kind of spread that tastes like earwax but looks like butter, it could be called ‘I can’t believe it’s not earwax’. Standing next to him was a girl with a bag probably containing a spoon. A spoon with which she intends to dig a tunnel to the moon just so she can look back and see the great wall of China.

I made an attempt to throw an apple thirty four miles just to avert their attention but I didn’t have an apple and my arms were acting up a bit anyway. I got to the shops eventually and bought some spoons and earwax spread but forgot to get a newspaper.

When I got home I thought to myself, “oh gosh, I forgot to bring back the helicopter”, it was then I realised that I have never had a helicopter and all the switches in my head are jammed full on.

Six weeks Five days – Still calm and inconspicuous

Drinking four gallons of bathwater doesn't help, This just makes you all blubby and full. But there are hardly any calories.

6 Replies

Hiya Dave,

6 weeks and 5 days and still counting! Absolutely fantastic! Hope you're chest infection finally cleared up. :)

What we're all wondering now is when will Spring finally come so we can get our wheels out and go whizzing around in the warmth and sunshine? 8-) (I'm not too worried at the minute cos am still getting around on my pair of planks!) :) :D :D


Hi Andi

I've managed to get out for a couple of spins recently and yes, the chest thing seems to have gone. I get the occasional coughing bout but that could even be my lungs having a clearout now that the years of fog have lifted. It's a bit dull/wet/windy here at the moment so I'm stuck indoors. Hopefully, I'll get out tomorrow for a blast. I have noticed that my breathing seems to be of a higher standard these days. I don't know whether that is due to the chest infection really knocking the wind out of my sails or as a result of not smoking. Whatever the reason, not smoking has got to be a distinct advantage and I intend to carry on. I still get some effing humdinger cravings but try to keep calm and let them pass. Oh well back to my household chores.......


Hi Dave a massive well done to getting to very nearly 7 weeks :) and to cutting down on the lozenges too :)

Stick at it, cos you will be an X smoker before you know it :) now you can get back to your household chores :D :D


I think perhaps not having any tobacco for nearly seven weeks has done the trick. Maybe it's the magnetic pull of planetary alignments or the lack of sleep. The shouting and throwing, the misery and depression, the ups the downs, the highs the lows, the storms,the doldrums. It could be that I can still remember the first time I whistled or how I once helped to rescue a pig that had become trapped in a wire fence. The blame could lie under the sea or out of sight possibly in some paranormal sphere of enlightenment beyond the realms of comprehension. I don't really know, but it seems to have done the trick.

When I smile now, my teeth are cleaner, my breath is cleaner, my soul is cleaner and the happiness is purer.



Stopped me from talking gibberish


lol love the write fags . A big well done on 6 weeks and 5 days..almost 7 weeks that's brilliant :) jan


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