3 months of freedom, 6 months back in a cell, but today I am ready to STOP

Hi everyone, my fellow positive and passionate people. You all helped me very much end of 2014 when I stopped my filthy habit. I'd started in my late teens, had a seven year cessation from 20-27 (a girlfriend wouldn't have it so I stopped to keep her), and then ploughed away again on 10 marlboro lights a day onwards. I stopped again publicly three years ago when I was 32 and my first child was born.

Then things got much worse, and as explained on this most helpful forum, I suffered the guilt and stress of the life of a secret smoker. Finally I could take no more, and with the help of conversation on here I stopped cold turkey. It must have been a year ago. It was very hard and I struggled with severe anxiety, chest pain and health anxiety. I became convinced I had lung cancer for instance.

Anyway, I fell back into the open arms of marlboro six months ago! It was very much a stress based lapse, with bereavement at the centre. But that isn't good enough, we all know that. It is an excuse! But today is the day. I now have a nearly 3 year old and 11 month old. And my wife has stayed positive for me about getting to this day. I've weaned my consumption down over the last week, and I'm about to have last cigarette I hope ever. It is crazy what the mental side brings to this addiction. Filleting my decision on what day to quit (I decided last week) the chest pain is back, front right side of my chest, ribs, and back. Just like before. Severe anxiety. And I need to keep off Google!

I hope you are all well, and are reading the story of a soon to be much happier, healthier 35 year old ex smoker.

29 Replies

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  • Spell check issues - filleting?!

  • Welcome Nick and congrats๐Ÿ‘ Good decision and I agree with you that the addiction is so psychological even though my withdrawals were very physical. Yesterday I really wanted to smoke but I got chatting with a lady on site and I read a few peoples struggles with relapse and cravings. Their experiences gave me strength to not light up

    Keep us close and remember NOT ONE PUFF


  • Good decision Nick .. do you have a plan to use NRT patches/gum/etc) or are you going cold turkey? You've done it before and can certainly do it again!

  • Hi Will. I'm going cold turkey as before, but am seeing a gp tomorrow about NRT options as I really need this to work.

  • Good move .. I'm normally a "do-it-myself" guy -- and no doubt that cold turkey is the fastest way to rid yourself of nicotine -- but it can be VERY stressful -- as you probably already know.

    I did go to see my GP a couple times and glad I did, too. I used Chantix (kind of a delayed C-T, in my book) but I am not real keen on recommending it unless a GP does first .. there are lot's of NRT options and your GP can help you decide what's best for YOU.

    Sounds like you are well motivated so go for it! Keep in touch with us and good luck!

  • Im curious about the Chantix did it help. I heard there are some very serious side effects from that drug, did u get any. Ive been smoke free over a month but the withdrawl is killing me headaches constant my head hurts to touch. Salivating not one person has mentioned it, sweats, anxiety all of it. I smoked 40 yrs a pack a day. I went cold turkey because I thought the pain would be over quicker but fool me. Im at the end of my rope reaady to sink back

  • HiyA Debbie and welcome ๐Ÿ˜Š a month smoke and nicotine free is FANTASTIC ๐Ÿ˜Š I'm really sorry that your suffering but cold turkey is a really good (if not difficult) way to give up. The withdrawals your getting are normal but they do pass....... we have a number of people on here that have given up cold turkey and they would be better placed to tell you about it๐Ÿ˜Š

    Before you think about trying an NRT product please talk to a cessation person. You need to do whatever helps you quit but the nicotine is completely out of your system and you could end up going through the withdrawals all over again ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ข

    Please stick with it and keep us close, we will support you as best we can ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

  • not sure where to find a cessation person or what that is. I was wrong its been 2 months smoke free but the first month I was detoxing from 100 mil of morphine (taken for over 10 yrs) plus I had an infected tooth implant that was trying to come out so I was in so much pain my body didnt feel any withdrawl if there was any but now in the second month Im getting it. I cant find anyone who smoked as long as I did 40 yrs pack a day who quit cold turkey. How do I find someone like that to know how long I will go through this crap. Thankyou for your wishes and kindness. Im very new on here

  • Flippin eck Debbie you have been through the mill ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

    Ok your body has gone through crap loads of withdrawal and infections, I'd love to tell you that the symptoms will stop tomorrow but we are all different, so no two quits are the same ๐Ÿ™

    Which country do you live in Debbie? Also let us know when you quit and the lovely admin people glolin, monky and jillygirl will arrange I nice shiny badge for you ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

  • Im from Canada, Toronto to be exact King City but moving to Oshawa end of the month. I did a post which I guess I shld have from the start instead of replying so Im hoping someone who was in my shoes will reply and I wont feel like such a mental case lol

  • Lol don't worry honestly we have gone a bit nuts through not smoking ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Here in the uk we have cessation people who are professionals that help you choose the right NRT products for you to help you quit and stay quit, they give advice and guidance. I'm assuming you don't have that in canada๐Ÿ˜Š

  • I quit as of November 1 2015 smoke free just over 2 months

  • Ps: two months quit is fantastic then double it ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

    I think glolin was a smoker for over 30 years and quit cold turkey.... I reckon there's a few that can relate to your quit ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

  • How do I find this person or do I wait for them to find me? I didnt ask anyone for help I just quit because I couldnt smoke it made me feel sick. I really had no choice in this matter. It was not planned lmao. I was quite content smoking

  • Ahh Debbie you have just had your teeth done which I'm sure wasn't cheap..... Smoking will only ruin them ๐Ÿ˜• Just think the money you save could be spent on something lovely, you no longer smell, your taste buds will come bounding back, your house or car no longer smells, no standing outside in the rain if you want to smoke, but best of all improved health.....See there are some great benefits to not smoking ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

  • droopy whatever money I save pays for the implants and dentures, polident keeps them real clean lol.

  • Hi Debbie ,

    Can you talk to your pharmacist. They will help you.. Don't light up... You're very strong to withdraw from morphine and cigarettes.. Keep this site close ... You'll be okay

    Arizona xxx

  • Good for you making 3 months, tell me did your side effects stop, do they just disappear or what. How long and how much did u smoke? Did u get symptoms from quitting. No one told me it would be like this. all I heard was it was easy and they breathe better nothing about side effects, headaches nothing so I feel kind of betrayed. Do u understand?

  • Hi Debbie ,

    Quitting is really hard for me and a lot of people and for some .. Not so hard... I had aching teeth, raw peeling mouth, headaches , back pain , sweating.... Need I go on.... But after the first month , all that went away and now I have fatigue and cravings/ depression..... Keep reaching out to the people on this site and you will find you're not alone with bad withdrawal.... You're doing fantastic ๐Ÿ‘

  • I have a question if someone just likes what you say they are not replying are they? only when it says respond they are messaging you to respond to them. Is this correct cause its confusing to me lol

  • lots to learn ie this forum and how people talk. What does blimey mean that sounds like cockney English My Fair Lady. Off to bed its almost 11pm. Going to look at winding down technique for sleeping god knows I need it, hope it works. Goodnite

  • Hiya Nick, I remember you from almost a year ago and I'm delighted to welcome you back๐Ÿ˜Š

    Unfortunately life throws things at us and we are tempted back to smoking but the past is the past and we have to let it go. Keep your focus on doing it now and this will be your time to shine๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

    Good luck with your G.P. tomorrow and let us know how you get on๐Ÿ€

    Whatever way you decide to quit, we are here for you, so stay away from Google and come on here instead๐Ÿ˜‰

    Let's get ready for a happier and healthier you, one day at a time๐Ÿ˜Šx

  • I hope so Briarwood, really appreciate the kind words

  • Hi Nick

    Welcome back :) :)

    Congratulations on not giving up on becoming a non smoker :) :)

    Have you read Allan Carrs book easy way too quit smoking, if it , it maybe worth a read as his book really does explain how when your stressed etc - smoking doesnt make it any better that we only think that it does :o

    Monky will put your badge in safe keeping so its there waiting for you :) :)

    Keep this site nice and close as it really has proven many times over to help the members get through the tough times :) :)

  • Hey nicksanstew,

    Welcome, go for it mate. I also gave up cold turkey, at the request of one of my daughters. It's so well worth it. We're all here for you

  • Hi nick. U can do it, if i can u can, it was my dirty habit for 45 years, been 6 months now an I went cold turkey, had everything u r going through, an more, still have some grotty days but just don't give in, when u get that urge, grab the kids an go play, needs just a minute to take ur mind of,vehemently breathing exercises on here help as well, good luck

  • Nick, am sooo sorry you have relapsed :( :(

    Rite Nick, secret smoking is worse than smoking out front :o COS, YOU know your doing it :o you know exactly the possible out come of smoking :o PLUS, I suspect your Wife and kids could smell it on you :o :(

    Thank you Nick for being so honest with us :) and I admire you for that, I really do :) :)

    just think for a minute please :) Do you want to be around to see your 3 year old and your 11 month old get married and have a family of their own :o :) :)

    My guess is YES :) sooooo, lets get you their :) :) we will help you allllllll of the way :) :)

    Come on Nick, this is the time and you KNOW it :) :) chuck any cigs ya got away and lets get you started on your quit journey again :) :)

    Pete :)

  • I used to do secret smoking I think people can probably smell smoke on u tho. Good luck with ur quit def try NRT should be free on NHS. And it helps loads.

    Good luck


  • Hi nick and welcome back ๐Ÿ˜Š

    This quitting malarkey ain't easy but as said already, you have done it before so you know you can do it ๐Ÿ˜Š

    You have a gorgeous family that you need to stay healthy for, you want to be a fully engaged dad and that means running around like a lunatic with them ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ just think of all the wonderful smoke free memories you can make with them and if you put your cig money away and save it , then you can treat yourself to something nice and also your beautiful wife ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

    You know you can do this Nick and that we are behind you all the way...... Stay strong, keep foccussed and keep the site nice and close ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜Š

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