Hi everyone, my fellow positive and passionate people. You all helped me very much end of 2014 when I stopped my filthy habit. I'd started in my late teens, had a seven year cessation from 20-27 (a girlfriend wouldn't have it so I stopped to keep her), and then ploughed away again on 10 marlboro lights a day onwards. I stopped again publicly three years ago when I was 32 and my first child was born.
Then things got much worse, and as explained on this most helpful forum, I suffered the guilt and stress of the life of a secret smoker. Finally I could take no more, and with the help of conversation on here I stopped cold turkey. It must have been a year ago. It was very hard and I struggled with severe anxiety, chest pain and health anxiety. I became convinced I had lung cancer for instance.
Anyway, I fell back into the open arms of marlboro six months ago! It was very much a stress based lapse, with bereavement at the centre. But that isn't good enough, we all know that. It is an excuse! But today is the day. I now have a nearly 3 year old and 11 month old. And my wife has stayed positive for me about getting to this day. I've weaned my consumption down over the last week, and I'm about to have last cigarette I hope ever. It is crazy what the mental side brings to this addiction. Filleting my decision on what day to quit (I decided last week) the chest pain is back, front right side of my chest, ribs, and back. Just like before. Severe anxiety. And I need to keep off Google!
I hope you are all well, and are reading the story of a soon to be much happier, healthier 35 year old ex smoker.