Hello i am back from a break....

[american_army_guy]

Hello,

I am back from my girlfriends house.....

I been down since I got home.....  I been there since wensday and I'm back today (sunday) 

Took the kids to a baseball game, didn't want this weekend to end....  I felt good this weekend, now I feel the anxiety come flooding back.....

I think i may have separation anxiety......  My dad dying, my friends in the military, losing my ex's little girl and when im around her im fine but after that, bam I'm feelin horrible and anxiety come back and then I start thinking of death, then I start thinking I'm dying and it's not until I see her it stops and is Ok.......  

I have missed you guys tho, I havent forgot about you all at all.....   

You guys have been with me thru these dark days when im home alone again......  

I prayed to God this morning to block all the bad thoughts and make it comfortable to be home again.......

I keep praying and praying and praying for it to be ok....  

girlfriend wants me to move in with her to try and get me to over come my anxiety issues......  She noticed I was normal this weekend and then today she caught me sitting in my car in tears.........

[madametobacco49]

Hi AAG--Try not to think about the fact you are alone so much--I live alone and there are times it can really swallow me up--I can get to dwelling on things and they get way out of proportion--There are many people single living alone now in the US--more than are married or living with  someone--I do understand the lonliness--I am alone and it is mothers day--I cried my tears and now I get on--Beware of co-dependency--Im not undermining your relationship in anyway--but you are under some stress--just be careful because that is so unhealthy... Yes you are suffering some loss issues-I have them too--some will never go away--but again you get on--and you know sometimes,more often than not - pain builds character--and in the end you are stronger and know yourself so well--It is like being in a cocoon and maybe for a reason- when your growth period is over you will emerge a butterfly and be able to understand people who have the same struggles you are having... Nothing is without purpose or to punish...-Not every character builder is pleasant--Just don't be afraid of your feelings--let them wash over you --don't hang onto them and dwell on them--Remember that which does not kill us makes us stronger and DONT SMOKE--(((((((hugs))))))) MmeT

[american_army_guy 6 Weeks Winner in reply to madametobacco49]

Thank you, and I'm thankful for the advice, I am being careful this time around, she thought I had anxiety from not being around her and she cried after I left because she could tell I was really hurting.......  I just called my doctor and left a voice mail.  Hopefully he gets it.....  I am in CBT and I think i just found the root cause of all of this.....

[madametobacco49 in reply to american_army_guy]

I hope so and you get to feeling better--you are doing fantastic on your quit--but that can feel like a loss too--A good loss but still hurts and makes one feel sad and empty sometimes--like you are alone and lost--Big change--and not easy,but will get better..-Love and Luck, MmeT

[american_army_guy 6 Weeks Winner in reply to madametobacco49]

Thanks for all the help, I'm off this site, i been acused of looking for sympathy off you all....  I am not doing that.....  Since February 27 i been a bad mess and I quit smoking with your all's help.......   I don't want a single one of you all to think i was just here for that...

This was new to me, this panic disorder junk and then I was a mess quitting smoking, and depression hit so I would write about my expirences to get a idea how to get over this stuff but I was made clear it's not for that so I am departing the site.... i hope you all stay quit....  i will miss you all.

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer in reply to american_army_guy]

There is no need to leave us Guy  

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer in reply to american_army_guy]

GUY, we dont deal with panic disorder  

This is a quit smoking forum  

[american_army_guy 6 Weeks Winner in reply to monky]

I know but I came to you all for everything Because everyone is nice here and people are going thru both......  I am sorry.....  I quit smoking Because of a panic attack, thought I was having a heart attack.........   I am just really alone.....  This was a little refuge for me....

I was going to get better and help others like me with this situation......  But I do understand, I feel guilty for it....  There are brave men and women here with COPD and battled cancer like my dad did and I'm here like a big baby crying about This all......  Its not right or ok....

  I am sorry.

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer in reply to american_army_guy]

No no no guy, I am in the wrong !!! and I do  apologise to you  

I am sorry if I have been harsh with you but I have to try and keep our members of this community safe  

[Carissa28 10 MONTH WINNER in reply to american_army_guy]

I agree with all MmeT has said above, keep praying, and I will continue to pray for you to.

I also live alone, and like MmeT said, there are times that also will dwell on the negative, and can easily get sucked into a dark depression, which I also need to be careful with since I am clinically depressed and on meds for.

you are stronger than you know.  and you are never, ever alone.  keep your loved ones close in your heart, they are with you.  I pray for your comfort and to feel the love that so many have for you, but mostly for you to feel our maker's love for you.

just look how far you have come already!

[Maddyg]

Sending hugs and prayers. Hope your doc gets back to you x

[american_army_guy 6 Weeks Winner in reply to Maddyg]

Thanks, please take care of your self Maddy I am off of here.....  Thank you for the advice and help on them bad bad days......   I was told I'm looking for sympathy and I'm really not.....  I just have no one that can relate and you all can.....  I grew attatched to you all Because of my quitting but also because I am stressed with panic......  You all helped me thru it.....  But I guess it's not welcomed here and I can't blame monky, I have been posting out side of smoking......

I will miss you all take care......  Good bye everyone

I am sorry.

[Maddyg in reply to american_army_guy]

Hi , AAG , stay strong, we are here to support you through your quit journey, and on good and bad days. But I do worry about you,  and feel that you do need to seek professional help regarding your depression and panic attacks.  Perhaps look at attending support groups, will also get you out to meet others. Try and focuss on the good things in your life.

Take Care

Maddy 

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer]

Guy, this is a quit smoking community and NOT a lovers community !!!!!!!

Not once in the 5 days you were away did you contact us for help soooo, that tells me, that when your alone, you want sympathy and we are NOT a sympathy community !!!! you need help from elswhere. 

I have read through all your posts and there all the same, you want the sympathy and loving from our lovely members !!!!! to which I do not think is right GUY, get a flippin grip and doooooo something in your life Move in with your girlfriend and flippin enjoyyyyy  

Guy, please wake up pal and maybe try another community on here if needs be But like I say, we are a quit smoking community and that is that  

Pete, administrator. 

[american_army_guy 6 Weeks Winner in reply to monky]

Well no not really Pete i am not doing it for that.  You all really did help me and I been a mess......  But I understand......  Good bye everyone

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer in reply to american_army_guy]

If your saying goodbye, then av  won !!!!!!

Flippin get off ya ass and fight me pal I know you've got it in ya  

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer]

Good evening madame and I hope your well  

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

I hope YOU are --

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

yes, am like a Spring chicken, but a male one eh

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer]

Heyyyy, hows this smog going !!!! cos we aint seen any over here yet  

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

well be glad I guess-it said what part of UK in that news report I posted--I haven't looked in on it today--You are doin ok I see--good good

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

Yes Madame, defoooo goooood and I hope that is you toooo in the USA  

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

smoke in air from canadas fires-they are real bad--

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

Yes, i can imagine not flippin good eh  

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

eyes water and nose runny--yuk--don't like it--

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

HAYYYY, more to the piont Madame, how are you xx

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer]

xx

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

xxxx

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

HAYYYY, what ya like gal  

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

pete lol--what does that mean please

[madametobacco49]

ok I get it--sorry

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

Why are you sorry Madame  

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

cos I dint understand what you meant--

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

Heyy Madame, I dont understand what I say sometimes eh  

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

I want the full scope, cos I aint chatted to you for a long time now and i apologise for that    

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

Im doin ok--I guess-still here--the worst over--got some crap in my life --but who doesn't ya kno

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer]

YEP  

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

pete you know where sheberghan Derbyshire is in uK?

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

I aint got a flippin clue Madame  

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

thought you were from derbyshire

[monky Administrator 45 Months Cake sniffer outer in reply to madametobacco49]

I have lived in Derbyshire all my life madame but dont recall Sheburghan  

[madametobacco49 in reply to monky]

hmmm ok--that's alright--

[madametobacco49 in reply to madametobacco49]

no biggie

[Andrew-S]

Hi AAG. I can see you've joined anxiety support and living with anxiety on HealthUnlocked. Maybe you can get more expert advice and support for your ptsd and anxiety on those forums with people who have been through it, as well as support from your doctor or cbt counsellor.

Hope you will stay in contact with quit support for your stop smoking support and advice. Remember you are doing well with your quit. 😀

[jillygirl Administrator Queen Bee]

To   A.A.G.    Please!

sp.yimg.com/xj/th?id=OIP.M0...

sp.yimg.com/xj/th?id=OIP.M0...

Shall I sort him out. lol.

twinsmummy.files.wordpress....

[madametobacco49 in reply to jillygirl]

oh Jilly you are the greatest--Love that last picture--so cute-

[droopyJ in reply to jillygirl]

Lmao jillygirl 😂😂

As an aside, did you know that the house that was used as Nora Batty's has been up for sale for ages ???

Maybe you and compo should buy it 😂😂

[jillygirl Administrator Queen Bee in reply to droopyJ]

If I win the lottery  I will do.     xx

[Andrew-S in reply to jillygirl]

I can remember that from being a kid u wouldn't  want Nora batty round u with the broom! Ha 😀

[Maddyg in reply to jillygirl]

Ha ha fab xx