Hi all, after smoking 20 (some days more) a day for 35 years I stopped smoking cold turkey on Monday 5th Jan and by Thursday I was climbing the walls. I went out for NRT patches but most places were sold out - I guess everyone was trying to quit at New Year. I managed to get step 2 patches (I think I needed step 1). Anyhow patches helped but I had a set back on Saturday 17 Jan and bought pack of 10. I smoked these over 3 days and then bought more. As the days slipped by I was increasing the amount I smoked up to 10 then 15 a day. I felt such a failure and was very self critical. I was actually sneaking about so my friends and family didn't know and this added to my stress, I felt so juvenile! Eventually I confessed and did not receive a whole load of grief from them as I had expected but got comments like "I knew you couldn't do it". I decided not to quit "quitting" and had my last smoke on Sunday 25 January. I have managed to buy the step 1 patches and also got some nicotine chewing gum for severe cravings. Having managed 13 days earlier in the month and having a setback I am not sure at what point I can consider myself a non smoker. When will I stop feeling sad? I am also now worried that I will just be addicted to nicotine forever and need to wean myself of this slowly. Will I feel sad again doing this? I need to gain confidence in myself that I can live life as a non smoker but I can't help feeling so sad. When I'm smoking I don't want to but when I'm not I miss it terribly. Really hope I can stick with it this time. Any tips for success?