I feel terrible! I succesffully stopped for 3 weeks and felt so much better, with more energy and high self esteem.. However, after the 3 weeks, I got the terrible shocking news that my dad has been diagnosed with lung cancer which has spread to the bones..(he stopped smoking 35 years ago!!). The shock was so severe, seeing him in pain... that instead of making it easier for me to stay off the cigarette, I went back to smoking again!!! I am disgusted with myself and feel so low! My self esteem's gone out of the window for I've got no excuse to do something which is killing him..... I had a good cry on Tuesday this week and it might have helped as I feel a bit stronger and want to try again as I know it can be done. I will carry on reading your posts as having just found out about the site, I can see the benefits of sharing our journeys, as damn, this is not easy!!