I often post on here as many have been of great support to me
My car will be towed this morning for a new battery replacement and even though this is an unexpected expense I only have myself to blame given the lack of care given ti the car
I inherited the car so it has sentimental value but I generally am adverse to driving
I have also realised that in terms of the global pandemic it is a small price to pay in the grand scheme of things
I was also knocked sideways when the a Psychotherapist said I talk like a child and I am child inside
I think these words have impacted on me but as someone who is trying to take full responsibility of her life , I cannot see why such an observation can be made
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Roukaya
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We are who we are. I suppose the key thing is to accept who we are. We all have our limitations and quirks. That is what makes us all different. But, we are all like children on the inside. We can delight at things like children, worry about the known and the unknown just like children. We can have tantrums just like children and we can cry just like children. Most still retain the child like innocence and vulnerability but through time we learn to hide it, maybe as a way to protect ourselves.
I’m doing fine thank you. I am one of the shielding group, so I am at home all of the time. I’m fine with that though. My husband is shielding with me, so I am very lucky I am not alone. We also have a garden which means I can enjoy the outdoors.
Good morning Roukaya, to be honest, I think your Psychotherapist has been very unprofessional putting this thought in your head without dealing with it. They are suppose to work on your self esteem and help with therapy and encouragement, not knock you to the ground and make you doubt yourself more. I think if you ever need to see a Psychotherapist again, do not see this one. Look around and read all the information on any you choose. This self doubt that has been put in your head, remove it. Not all people are good at the job they are in. There are good and bad Doctors, there are good and bad bus drivers, there are good and bad customer service people, the same for any line of work. Do not dwell to much on this comment that has been put in your head. Do not let it fester. There is a child within all of us. I hope the car gets running today and you should try and go for a nice short drive somewhere quiet and relaxing. You have a really good day as the weather is beautiful and be kind to yourself. 😊🚗🏖
Given your understanding and wealth of experience I expect you were an outstanding nurse
It goes back to an excerpt of In Pursuit of Happyness by which Will Smith told his son
Do not let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do
Very powerful and positive words
How are you
The sessions with the Psychotherapist came to an end yesterday and I agree they are to be trusted as professionals and should not be allowed to voice such a critical opinion which can have detrimental impact
That is great news, you must be so happy as I know you said the care had some sentimental value to you. You should try to have a little trip out on a regular basis to keep it up and running. I think also it's a good time to drive if you don't usually like driving that much due to the reduced traffic on the roads at the moment. So maybe you could build your liking of driving up a bit whilst the roads are less busy at the moment. xx
It's nice to have something of your father's that he cherished and you have fond memories of. Driving gives you a degree of added independence at times. I am having a pleasant day. My son will be calling later, he will sit in the garden and social distance. I am a bit tired because I don't sleep well anyway and the heat through the night, it was very hot. I have got the fans out today keeping everywhere cool. So the temperature is quite pleasant. xx
I totally agree with what Troilus has said - that we are who we are. I have a lot of child in me too, but when called on to do so I act as an adult. In fact I believe life is a lot about acting and putting on a face that people we meet often find more acceptable. I guess that is just play acting the adult. Have you ever tried that? If you watch t.v. observe how real people, not actors, suddenly change their voice tone and stature when called on to speak in public. So in fact with friends we are more ourselves, can chat about how we are feeling and what makes us laugh. I can be a real giggler once I start! However, in general I just let people see my smiling face. I want them to think I'm nice, it feeds a need in me.
There are said to be three roles that we need to play in life and from what I can recall they are Adult, Parent and Child. There's a book called I'm Ok -Your Ok by Thomas A. Harris MD and that discusses the way we present ourselves and interact with others. If you can buy a copy. It was first published around 1970 and was soon a best seller.
Good morning That's a pain having the car towed. I think maybe I would consider an alternative psychotherapist who is a little more supportive and less critical
I’m fine thank you. Didn’t sleep well for no apparent reason so feeling tired 💤 today. Never mind hopefully I’ll wake up before it’s time to go to bed again! Haven’t got to do much today and it’s lovely and sunny.
I’m glad you agree that we cannot be defined and judged by others 🙂
Ah that’s true. Hopefully no more problems. I haven’t had a rest. Although not too busy. I went for a fast walk for an hour this morning and that woke me up. Hopefully I will have a better night tonight 😊
There are parks but I should make the effort to visit
A bit of a walk but I should try
Thank you for asking
Hi Roukaya, I'm sure that the car can, and will be fixed for you, so I hope you aren't feeling stressed and anxious over that.
With regard to the things that your psychologist has said to you, you seem particularly upset. Please remember that it is your choice whether you continue to consult this person. Maybe this isn't the best psychologist for you. And funnily enough I was thinking this morning of some of the unnecessary and unpleasant things that clinicians of all sorts have said to me over the years. People are all fallible at times. Just as you will have what society deems to be 'faults', so will they. So are you really being helped by this person? I think you should not be afraid to voice your concerns with them, at the very least. Don't let it get you down. You've been doing so very well lately. Very best wishes for a brighter day. 🙏
in reply to
Many years ago I had gone to see a nurse about something and had said how I was frightened of medical things and she had been very dismissive and had said to me how it was one of those things that I needed to get over!
Perhaps I did need to get over it but there was no need to be unkind about it!
I made sure that I never saw that nurse again as they are there to help you when you are poorly and support patients not make things worse for them!
If you don't like a particular health professional then don't see them again as they aren't the right person for you.
Don't worry about what the Psychotherapist said; although it is poor care in that he said it.
As it has a bearing on your everyday confidence and is preying on your mind, I think you should report it as an incidence of a failure in his Duty of Care, as it would appear he has let his judgement be clouded to state such a thing.
We all of us have our Inner Child, (even me at 72!) I hope never to lose it as it gives me the ability to marvel at the beauty of a sunrise or sunset, the perfection of a flower and the appreciation of our World, the beauty of music, and so on. Innocence is a precious thing, not to be thrown away lightly.
Some people have discarded their Inner Child; to me they appear joyless, with almost shrivelled souls, they do not appear to enjoy life, and do not want anybody else to enjoy it either. I try to avoid them as they seem to make me feel drained.
My son and I are doing alright, but I think we both overdid things yesterday, Building a Big computer desk, weedkilling, and delivering stuff to a lady down the road, whose mail seems to come to my house! ( I think it is a friend who just has the house number wrong!)
Its downhill going, but uphill coming back! At least there was a little breeze,but getting rather hot now. Probably going for a doze soon.
I think that most motoring organisations do not cover breakdowns at home - unless you pay extra. I am glad you are sorted - and, hopefully, you can walk to the garage to collect it.
I have used the car very seldom since lockdown, but I delivered some PPE - and did a bit of essential shopping (that I could not do in the local supermarket) so I have avoided having to use the battery charger.
I think that there is an "inner child" in most of us... Mine is not well-hidden, and I think this helps me to relate to children. (I was a voluntary assistant gymnastics teacher.)
To me they are like little adults trying to make sense of the big world
My parents I think have child like tendencies
My Father now gone used to love his ice cream and chocolate and Pepsi
My Mother a very independent little Asian lady the original scary spice and self made entrepreneur who is hopefully ok likes Peter Rabbit and Beatrix Potter
She likes everything cute and miniature, she is also cute and miniature but a Pocket Rocket rearing to go
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