Looking ahead but with deep regrets o... - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

9,876 members10,027 posts

Looking ahead but with deep regrets of the past

Roukaya profile image

I am currently observing Ramadhan in isolation it is day three but it seems to be ok.

The time in isolation gives me too much time to think of past career choices which did not work out.

I am trying to start again at a late stage in life but realising to put the past behind me in order to try again

36 Replies

Very kind words

Much appreciated

I expect the past can only teach us valuable lessons for the next chapter

Thank you

Are you sure they were mistakes. Normally there is a lesson to be learned from things that were challenging in the past that bring us to where we are today?

Hello Agoodenough,

That is a very pertinent observation, perspective and question. I agree with you.


bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador in reply to Narwhal10

Yes. there is some truth in this I feel. xx

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Agoodenough

I am beginning to think they were not mistakes, infact just a way for me to return back to Derby to look after my Father until he died

The jobs which rejected me were simply never meant for me

it is for me to persevere and find a new road ahead

One door closes - and another opens.

Hello Roukaya,

It appears you’re in a time of deep reflection... we’re all in this together having to isolate to stay safe. Plus it is your holiest time of the year which for any faith, is a deep time of reflection.

I could make out a long laundry list of things I’ve done in the past for which I regret. I have a choice: To let my shortcomings of the past make me feel shame in my present -or- to feel gratitude from my past’s learning experiences so that I do not bring the negatives ones into my present.

I hope you can give yourself some credit that you’ve learned from your past and that you can find some semblance of peace in your present.

And may you and those special to you have a pleasant and prosperous Ramadhan.

All my best,


Thank you for your reply

I think I have a tendency to look at situations which could have led to a career opening for me at the time

But had that door opened the personal welfare of my late Father would have been seriously neglected and he would have lost all that he had spent a life time working for

In our religion we are taught that everything happens by the will of Allah in the sense it was never meant to be

Thank you for your explanation

I hope so

Be kind to yourself. You have done the best you could with the information you had at the time. I like to draw and am quite good at it, though not "artist grade". When I go to classes and hear people beat themselves up because they think they're no good, I tell them, you're in the class to learn. If you already knew everything you wouldn't be here, or you would be the teacher. I think life is like that. We all look back and think "If only...." But we did what we thought was right at the time. We did what we were ready to do at the time.

Now we are all in a different space. Everyone on the planet is living a life different than we expected just a couple of months ago, and for none of us in this generation will things ever be the same. Every single one of us is to one degree or another looking back and thinking, did I do right? And if we take time now to reflect on what we can change about ourselves so that we emerge from The Great Pause more in tune with our people, with our environment, then we'll have learned a great lesson.

The past exists only in our memory. The future is yet to be. All we have is the present moment, and the gift of life on an incredibly beautiful planet.

Stay safe.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to HeronNS

Very kind and thoughtful words

Thank you

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to HeronNS

How right you are

It really is the Great Pause

I think my Father now gone told me in a dream on the day of my Birthday

Appreciate your Freedom

He often visits me at important dates

I am sure he knew the Great Pause was on it’s way

I had very little understanding of its meaning at the time and I had visited quite a few countries last year in order to celebrate my fiftieth birthday

In retrospect I was glad I was able to

Thank you

Hidden profile image

Hi Roukaya, hope you are well,

There is a saying that when we come to the end we don’t regret the things we have done in our lives but we do regret the things we haven’t done, so you must follow your heart.

To everything a season

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Hidden

I will continue to try and hopefully I can succeed where I have failed before

bobbybobb profile image

This will be a time of great reflection and deep thought for you. Guided by your faith which will give you strength. I was thinking today that I hadn't seen you post for a couple of days but now the reason is clear. It does not matter at what time in life you start again because it will always be a new beginning. Imagine what that means for a moment. A new beginning, an opportunity to walk a different path. A time to embrace new areas of your life and make changes. A time to learn from the past and grow from those experiences and turn them into positive aspects so you have clarity to recognize areas that have let you down in the past. A new beginning is achievable for everyone, that's the greatness of it. Have a wonder evening. xx

I find your words to be incredibly uplifting.

Ramadhan is a time for renewal and purification. The fasting is meant for us to identity with the suffering of others

I should not look back in regret at the past because it contains the seeds to move forward.

All is not lost

I cared for a very ill and vulnerable adult who would have lost all of his life savings and his business had I not intervened to stabilise and sell the business

He was being taken advantage of by a younger woman who set out to defraud him of everything

I made sure he receive the correct care and was him in until he passed on

If I had succeeded in the career I had set out my Father would have lost everything

I think with the hindsight of personal experience I can try to commit towards a new path with greater self belief and conviction knowing that I have succeeded in the past and I can again only if I try with hard work and determination

Thank you for remembering me

I hope you keep well

Ghounds profile image
GhoundsReading Rabbits in reply to Roukaya

How wonderful that you were able to take care of your Father, in my opinion that is more valuable than any job or career. He must have felt so comforted being nursed by his daughter rather than by strangers. This is not meant to dismiss the love and dedication shown by those in the caring profession. Their work is invaluable especially now. I believe everything happens for a reason and anything meant for you will not pass you by. We just have to wait for the right time.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Ghounds

We also believe in the same principle

We will only have what is decreed for us by the almighty

I hope you are well keeping safe

Many lessons I have learnt through the human failings of my Father

He was once quite a wealthy person and wasted so much of his wealth on a younger woman

As a result of this I have learnt to give and donate in terms of feeding the hungry which is again a principle of our religion again

I can only give what I can afford to give but more than ever I can identify with those who face a loss of livelihood

I shall quote you what Muhammad Ali said

He dedicated his life post boxing 🥊 to bringing about peace and by giving immensely to charity

He said if I give to charity I want to know there is a heaven and if I give I will see


A true hero to me in terms of his sincere and genuine faith

I thank you for your kind reply

Keep Safe and well

Ghounds profile image
GhoundsReading Rabbits in reply to Roukaya

I'm good thank you. Helping those less fortunate is a wonderful act of love and kindness and I'm hoping that when coronavirus is behind us the world will be a more compassionate place. I hadn't heard that quote so thank you for sharing. I hope you have some of your favourite food to enjoy this evening. Take care.

Thank you again

Muhammad Ali one of my great all time hero’s

He died in the month of Ramadan

We believe as he died in the sacred month his ascent to heaven was guaranteed

In life we all need hero’s but in our own way we can be our own hero too

I wish you a good evening

It's never too late Roukaya! Tell yourself that every morning! Yes, it takes courage but if you can find it, you can still succeed. We all waste time in our lives and regret some of the decisions we make, but one of the finest things ever said to me is that there is 'no such thing as the wrong decision'. There are only decisions, and when one doesn't work out as we hoped we must simply just make another, and another, until we are back on track. Don't let isolation make you overthink things. Try a simple mindfulness technique to help bring your mind back to the present moment. You can't change what's happened in the past but you can influence what happens in your future by thinking positively about it.

So helpful, thank you!

You are very welcome Begonia50 and glad to have helped.

I hope you are well

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement

I think Ramadan teaches us to have great patience and courage when coping with life’s challenges

We struggle again part of our religion to appreciate the value of what we have

I hope you have a safe and peaceful day

Hi Roukaya,

Yes Ramadan must be a source of great patience and courage and it must surely be more of a challenge this year with life so changed from usual. I think periods of testing in any faith only serve to make us all stronger. And I hope you are feeling strong today as you start a new week. Take care and Ramadan blessings!🙏

Very kind words

Thanks to your kind suggestion which you shared with another member I ordered ten face masks with surgery

Very efficient and reliable

I received the ten marks this morning

Thank you


I do hot you are enjoying Ramadan. You did exactly the right thing in looking after your Father instead of going after your career. Your Dad will have been thrilled that you were looking after him in his time of need. It's never too late to start a new job if that's what you want. Be proud of what you have achieved. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx 😘♥️🌻

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Oldham65

I think everything in life teaches us a great lesson

Nothing is ever permanent and essentially life does change and we have apply to the qualities of resilience and courage to create a new chapter

Many times I should learn not to regret the past but to try to look ahead with the experience and knowledge I have acquired in the past

Thank you for your kind understanding

I hope you remain safe and well

Oldham65 profile image
Oldham65 in reply to Roukaya

Thank you. You talk a lot of sense. Take care and stay safe. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx 😘

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Oldham65

Thank you☺️

Oldham65 profile image
Oldham65 in reply to Roukaya

You are very welcome. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx 😘

Hidden profile image

I don’t think you realise just how strong you are Roukaya, you have faced many challenges and survived , every challenge is leading you towards the life you are meant to have. Accept the past and let it go. Smile even when you don’t feel like smiling and feel the love and strength that we are all sending you. ❤️

I hope you keep well

I am predisposed towards depression and anxiety and this is why I have a tendency to look at the past

In our religion especially we are told everything happens by the will of Allah

Everything that happens is decreed

Again I will continue to try and persevere knowing that the right door in the end will open

I think you brighten everybody’s day with your digital paintings

I hope you remain safe and well

Midori profile image
MidoriVisually impaired

Use the past as lessons, don't regret the learning, but make up your mind to not repeat the same mistake.

the past is gone, the future is to come, and the present, is a gift.

Cheers, Midori

I hope you are well

Thank you for reply

I seem to be getting tired with the fasting

Keep Safe and Well

Keep going Roukaya it’s never too late x

You may also like...