Trying to cope with self isolation - Positive Wellbein...

Positive Wellbeing During Self-Isolation

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Trying to cope with self isolation

Roukaya profile image
35 Replies

I hope everyone is able to cope with the restrictions imposed due to the Lock Down

Since Monday apart from emptying the bin, I have not been out

I expect it is due for protection and also I have learnt a great deal about my underlying mental health issues

In this time, I will try to resume my studies in Wills and Probate, observe my faith and talk to my Mother overseas and interact with those willing to talk to me

I suppose what also saddens me, is the attitude of my neighbours a young couple with a child

They know I live on my own and not once have they asked how I am managing

When I would travel overseas I would always bring them a souvenir

But because I have lost confidence in driving, they had wanted to have my car at a very low price and when I said this is a souvenir of my Father and not for sale their attitude towards me changed

But human life and the gift of life far more important and this is something through this process I have learnt

35 Replies
Stub007 profile image
Stub007

To be blunt, Roukaya, if your neighbors took that attitude, they are not really your neighbors. Neighbors wouldn’t react that way and they would be helpful to you, especially with your struggles. Forget them and build and maintain your life without them. Now, back to bed for me: It’s 2:15 AM here. Stay in touch and be well!

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Stub007

I wish you a good nights rest

I hope you are safe and well

Thank you for your kind words and I hope you are able to cope with the social isolation

I always value honesty and integrity

So thank you

Patsy164 profile image
Patsy164

Since this lockdown I think a lot of us will reflect on our way of life, our family, friends and the people we interact with our neighbours.

If your neighbour could not grasp the fact that they couldn’t have your car because it has so much meaning to you then I would not give them a second thought. They sound like they are more upset they couldn’t get a cheap car to me.

I am afraid there are a lot of selfish people out there that only think of themselves, hence in the news of people going out mixing with each other and sunbathing in the park. Whilst most of us are adhering to the rules there will always be rule breakers and they will make this self isolating a long haul.

Keep safe and keep posting it helps to tell someone else how you are feeling we are all here for you.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Patsy164

Dear Patsy

How are you

Thank you for answer my post

I have also realised just how much I miss the freedom and independence I once enjoyed

But given the immense if of life in Italy,

Spain and the US, the sacrifice it for our own survival

I thank you for being kind and understanding

How do you spend your time in Isolation

Patsy164 profile image
Patsy164 in reply to Roukaya

Hi Roukaya in your answer to how do I spend my time, housework, gardening, watching tv, chatting to friends and family, reading and listening to music. My daughter says there a lot of free online courses so I am going to look for some tomorrow that will keep me occupied.

Let’s hope we can get a grip of this virus so no more people will die, I fear many will over the next few weeks but pray we can damper it soon.

Stay safe

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador

It could be they are adhering to the advice or there could be many reasons really. Also, trying to buy your car at a low price, make sure no one takes advantage of you. I know you don't want to go out but have you considered a brief walk early in the morning before people are out and about, just to get you out for 5 minutes to lift your spirits. It's so good you are resuming your studies and observing your faith and plan to speak to you mum, that sounds like a plan to me. Try not to worry about your neighbors, they do their thing and you do your. ☺☺☺

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to bobbybobb

Dear Bobby Bobb

I hope you are well

Thank you for answering my post

Did you manage to do your shopping 🛍 yesterday

I have realised even though I am alone I should focus on the here and now

I have travelled a great deal especially since I lost my Father

My Mother I call every day and I keep to my faith which tells us that we are all tested and after hardship there is ease

I also think that this is the beginning and eventually there will be an end

I once had to manage a distressed property portfolio as my Father had become incapable of managing it

I manage to sell the lot at auction and paid my Fathers debts and this was a lesson of learning to live within your means

I also received news that the tenants of one small flat are leaving in mid April

They had wanted to pay an excessively low rent, I had offered them a reduction but they wanted much lower

Again as you have said, the neighbours in my view thought 💭 they could take advantage again similarly the tenants again thought they could take advantage as they are still maintaining a highly paid job

I had to fight very hard to protect my Fathers finances from near complete loss so as a result of this I always kept a pot of savings for such an eventuality

I hope you day goes well

Thank you for being kind enough to listen and answer

I should resume the studies as it is all on line and apply my energies this way

This cloud ⛅️ will eventually move away to give rise to a new dawn

To everything there is a season

This is season to turn in wards and refocus and regain our capability to begin again

Stub007 profile image
Stub007 in reply to Roukaya

You have a good head on your shoulders, and even now God is richly blessing you. Enjoy just being alive. Enjoy it,

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Stub007

Very true

I agree to make the best of what we have and to have gratitude

Thank you

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Stub007

Hello

Thank you for your reply

Could you please explain

Even now God is richly blessing you

I am quite intrigued

Stay Safe and Keep Well

bobbybobb profile image
bobbybobbAmbassador in reply to Roukaya

You are a strong person to deal with with all your Father's affairs, that must have been a stressful time but you obviously have come through it. Its great you have daily contact with your mum it must be something you both look forward to each day. You have described it very well, this cloud will lift and we will see the dawn of a new day. Shopping was a bit of a nightmare, it took so long as there are strict rules in place with regards to the social distancing but good to see such strict measures in place. I hope you have a wonderful day today and take good care of yourself. ☺☺☺

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to bobbybobb

Thanks for reply

I your weekend goes well

Stay Safe

Ali_H profile image
Ali_H

This might be of interest to look at...

actionforhappiness.org/

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to Ali_H

Thank you

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Dear Jerry

I hope you are safe and well

I really love the great outdoors and Beatrix Potter

I really like the pictures of the ducks

I thank you for your kind words of advice

If I can refocus I would like to resit the exams and find a years experience in elderly care and the law which is relevant in our later years

I hope you have a safe day

Keep well and thank you for being kind enough to answer

Hi Roukaya, You are doing an amazing job with your coping strategy. Routine's so important so that we don't have too much time to dwell on the unpleasanter aspects of the time we are all going through.

Do you have your neighbours' telephone number? If so, I'd take the bull by the horns and call them, ignoring the fact that they haven't called you, and just wish them well and say that you will call and check on them a once in a while. Sometimes we have to go fishing to find food for our own table, if you understand what I mean. Sending out love and concern will often bring it back, because maybe they are thoughtless people or afraid people who are trying to keep themselves and their child safe, and have forgotten your needs. Perhaps they need a nudge, to remember.

But anyway, again, you are doing a fantastic job of getting through this. Please have a good day today, and stay well, and take care.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to

Thank you for your kind reply

I think I will not let behaviour be of concern to me when I see how many others are losing their life or fighting to regain their life.

There have been small incidents which have made me realise that it is best to leave them alone

I have faced rejection and hurtful remarks many times in the past and I simply reason that I would rather avoid a talk with them

I know they live on a strict financial budget and may be are under pressure

i thank you for your kind reply

I do talk to my Mother, one aspect of housework per day and my prayers and resuming my studies

Also very pleased to talk on line here

I hope you have a safe day for days to come

TheDrivenSnow profile image
TheDrivenSnow

I just think of people in a far worse position... In war-torn regions of the world, where rubble and debris stand testament to edifices that once rose proud... In earthquake-prone zones, where life is uncertain and attachment to belongings pointless... In poverty-stricken areas in the developing world, where morsels of food are hard-won and insubstantial... And those people who are vacantly staring death and misery in the face, acutely aware of the ticking of the clock... And then I look around and - despite the apparent wretchedness of our situation - tomorrow is a sun soon rising,

and yesterday is there beside us. Things aren't quite so terrible, after all. We still have some modicum of control: we can choose to exercise that control. Or not.

in reply to TheDrivenSnow

I can always rely on you to bring a tear to my eye with your lovely way with words 😊sending loads of love you you and yours xx

TheDrivenSnow profile image
TheDrivenSnow in reply to

Malmal, such a sweet message: thank you.

All we need is an open heart: before we know it, strangers tap-tapping away at their keyboards become dear to us in ways we cannot always fully verbalise.

Sending much love your way xXx

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

I realise tbe stage of your illness and I can appreciate the realties of others who do not have a fraction of what we have

You have been brutally honest in your reasoning and I respect your eloquence and depth of reasoning

I hope you savour and make the best of what you have

Freddie Mercury once said in a song which he composed once diagnosed with HIV that Life is Miracle and your words have resonance with the lyrics in the song

Both you and him sensitive to the plights and hardships of others

I have great and profound respect for your reply

TheDrivenSnow profile image
TheDrivenSnow in reply to Roukaya

Roukaya, you are a sweetheart to say so.

Behind each of the messages on this portal is a wealth of love and kindness and a willingness to share. This despite the fact that each of us is grappling with our own personal demons, trying to find our way through the night towards a dawn less clouded, more hopeful.

Hope is a great thing! It is why we are here. It is why we share.

Look after yourself: we are here to cushion any blows that threaten to fell you on your journey towards your dawn.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to TheDrivenSnow

I would like to thank you for such an eloquent piece of prose.

You clearly have an innate gift in vocalising the sensitivities of the highs and lows of human emotion

It is true even though I am lonely and horrified at the state of this global illness , I can see there is always a kind word to uplift a life of lonelines and isolation

As a matter of interest, I would be intrigued to know of your educational background

Clearly a very talented writer who is yet to be recognised for her natural and gifted way of applying the english language to the complexities of the human mind

TheDrivenSnow profile image
TheDrivenSnow in reply to Roukaya

Roukaya, you are very kind.

Words can be powerful allies; sometimes, they are all we have.

My education?

I was an avid reader as a child, and I trained under the aegis of The Royal Schools of Music in elocution and speech & drama alongside my regular school curriculum.

My school - St C's - gave me everything and I owe it everything.

Old schoolfriends with whom I am still in regular touch echo my sentiments, so I know it's not just me! We were very fortunate to be part of an incredible institution that nurtured and sheltered us until we were ready to explore the world more fully.

Enid Blyton was Head Girl at St C's in 1913-14; we are very conscious of our legacy and our responsibility.

So: St C's right the way through to my O Levels.

And then came my A Levels - at JAGS, another school steeped in tradition.

Then uni: UCL.

I started out majoring in French.

Somewhere along a path littered with trauma and delight, I switched faculties and ended up with a first-class master's degree in German.

Ultimately, it stood me in good stead and after what seemed like a lifetime working in corporate communications, I set up my own business 12 years ago. Drawing upon my uni grounding, in addition to communication and editorial solutions, I offered (and still do) German-English translation and review services to clients primarily in mainland Europe.

That's pretty much my CV!

Other than the fact that I do write for pleasure. Predominantly poetry.

Thank you for asking and for being so insightful: you have given me an opportunity to think back over my life.

I have loved working with words.

Like I said, sometimes words are all we have.

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to TheDrivenSnow

I have read your posts and I realise you have a great deal of wisdom and life experience to share .

I have great respect for you despite your own tribulations, you can still answer my post

I am a Muslim by faith unmarried and alone and my Mother overseas

She is all I have

We believe after hardship there is relief and we the entire human race is being tested

I think your innate writing skills shine through very brightly and I knew you were gifted academically as such is illustrated by the pedigree of your first class education

I am still trying to obtain a Post Graduate Diploma in Wills and Probate and despite three attempts I would like to persue this path

I am beginning to see the transirnt nature and fragility of human life as shown on the news

I will always be thankful in many ways as you have inspired me to keep plodding on despite my loneliness

Wishing you the kindest regards

TheDrivenSnow profile image
TheDrivenSnow in reply to Roukaya

Roukaya, forgive me if I'm intruding, but it's obvious to anyone who reads your posts that you miss your mother immensely. Do you plan for a future when you can be together again? This would go quite some way towards addressing your isolation, and each would both be reassured that the other was well and content. I'm picturing it now: an abundance of joy!

I am impressed that you are so single-mindedly pursuing your academic goal. Your efforts will not be in vain. My daughter applied 24 times for a holiday job during her gap year some time ago before she started at uni: we were blissfully unaware of her attempts as she was too embarrassed to tell us. Ultimately, her 24th attempt proved successful! She now works as a (very talented) digital illustrator. Life takes us to where we are meant to be.

I'm sorry that I am not available through the day to keep you company to an extent: I try to structure my days so that I attend to work first and foremost (although my admin remains woefully neglected). I will try to respond to your posts when I am online, though.

Remember - you are among friends here and never alone.

Isn't the internet a wonderful creation!

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya in reply to TheDrivenSnow

Dear Driven Snow

I hope you are safe and well

I realise I miss my Mother a great deal however, when she left a difficult marriage, Mum went to settle in Mauritius

I remained in UK and obtained a degree in French, German and Politics then Post Graduate Law and did not obtain the practical training

Also ten years ago , as an only child I became my Fathers sole carer and managed his business until this was sold

I loss my Father two years ago and I have been trying to obtain a Diploma in Wills and Probate and find a years work experience

I have been trying for three years but due to anxiety, depression and OCD I am no longer the same

You are very right however in Mauritius it is necessary to know the right people to get a job or have the right name

It is not a meriticracy this is why I am here and Mum based in Mauritius as she became a self made entrepreneur

It is very true I miss my Mother and prior to Covid 19 I would visit once a year and Mum would come over

Can you see why I made the decision to try to make something of myself here as apart from my Mother there is nothing but beautiful scenery

I hope to hear from you

Very inspiring about the 24 attempts of your daughter.

Thank you for reply

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Dear Zoonie

I hope and trust you are well

How are you keeping and how do you make use of your time during this period of Lock Down

I can appreciate your kind and well thought out reply

How will you spend your days

Stay Safe

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Thank you first of all for giving support and understanding

I tbink we will all be incredibly grzteful when one day the restrictions are lifted

I hope you suceed with your graphics, must be very interesting

Keep in touch

Stay Safe

Stub007 profile image
Stub007

Our new, mutual friends have described your (and my) blessings far better than my feeble brain could do. I rejoice in those and the togetherness of this supportive group; we are as one in more ways than not. Enjoy?

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Thank you

A very supportive and kind group 🙋

TheDrivenSnow profile image
TheDrivenSnow

Oh yes, Christmas carols were indulged in with gusto!

And yes, I do work on technical copy: it's my least-preferred category, though (I'm partial to legal, (general) medical and marketing/PR texts, and I've scaled back significantly since my third diagnosis last August, so now I pick and choose my assignments very carefully and accept only those I really want to work on.

Don't get me started on Brexit... So many of my colleagues lost high-value contracts the morning after the referendum result! Careers and businesses decimated overnight :(

But none of that devastation compares to the situation now.

Carnage.

I managed to log on to the Iceland portal at the right time a couple of days ago and placed an order pronto. Lots of supplies were unavailable in the end, but at least we managed to get basics in (except chicken, eggs and wine! As I said - carnage!)

How are you managing supplies/groceries-wise?

TheDrivenSnow profile image
TheDrivenSnow

My turn to be seriously impressed (all the more because I'm such an inconsistent cook). That quiche looks scrumptious, and I'm not a great bread eater, but your creation looks rather appealing.

Iceland had no wine for us, either!

This virus has changed the world in so many ways. And to think that last year nobody could think beyond Brexit! It all seems so insignificant now...

Take care!

xXx

Mattsdog1 profile image
Mattsdog1

Hi Roukaya, hope your ok sorry about your neighbours, maybe you’ll get your confidence back to drive when you can go out, at least the roads aren’t as busy at the moment. Take care love, Anya

Roukaya profile image
Roukaya

Thank you

After Ramadan I will work on my self confidence

I hope you are safe and well

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