Operation Looming

So operation date is looming, on 17th October, part of me thinks, yes lets crack on and do this, the other part of me is thinking, feel a bit sniffy today, throat a bit sore, but then I had a heavy night with hubby last night drinking two bottles of Champagne between us to make me feel better lol, hope I'm okay for op. Pre-op is 16th on CT scan day, it feels like it's been a lot of hospital visits and time off for hubby so less money coming in. The mortgage rate has gone up, and trying to print out ESA forms has been soooo frustrating I wanted to throw the PC out of the window.

Number one son has rang to tell me our granddaughter is in hospital with a rash that doesn't fade and a temp of 39.8, like it never rains it always pours.

Went for a walk with hubby to have lunch, which was really nice, we are both a bit distracted, having just started a new business which was supposed to run parrallel with what we do now but it needs lots of nuturing, I'm trying to work on updating the website and getting the advertising arranged, but can't feel the enthusiasm I had a few weeks ago, as it feels fruitless with me not being able to work and hubby doing it all.

It's 4 weeks since my first op and am pleased with how I've got back on my feet, now it's rewind and catheters and pain and this time I know once I'm on the road to healing then it's chemo. Sound sorry for myself, wish my Mum was here, but am also glad she hasn't got the worry. I asked if I would have Oestrogen for the next few years until I'm 50 as the research shows that by doing so the increased risk of dementia from losing my ovaries with bring me back to a negligable risk.

I was writing a new book, but can't seem to get on with that either, it's not like I'm having a moment, my mind just can't seem to focus.

LA

11 Replies

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  • Hi Lily-Anne,

    It is early days yet to concentrate on anything.... you said a new book does this mean you have written one before?

    I am sorry that you have this trauma with your granddaughter.. it is very worrying..but if she is in the hospital she is in the best place...I hope everything will settle down soon sending you my best wishes and love x G x

  • Thanks Gwyn,

    It appears she has a viral infection and is being transfered to ICU, she's only 3 so a bit traumatic. Yes I used to write professionally, but had lots of life and career changes, I do try to keep my hand in. A little article writing, but haven't written a factual book for a few years. It's one of those things I enjoy, ironically I used to write about the NHS ...

    LA

  • So you must be quite well informed then? I will pray for your granddaughter love and best wishes x G x

  • Dear Lily-Anne,

    I'm sorry this is such a hard time for you. Your blog reminded me how vulnerable and tearful I felt the weekend before my op. I think that's natural. You've also got the other worries which must be making things so much more difficult. I hope you get some good news about your granddaughter.

    It sounds as though you've got a long list of things to keep you busy once you've had your op. you'll need to rest up so hopefully you'll get some inspiration for that book.

    I think I'd feel a bit sorry for myself if I'd drunk a whole bottle of champagne the night before though the book Anti-cancer diet does recommend red wine and malt Whisky - presumably in smaller quantities - is good for fighting cancer.

    We'll all be thinking of you for Thursday and looking forward to hearing it was a great success. You needs lots of support as we know you had your doubts beforehand. I'm sure you've made the best decision. Xxx lots of love, Annie

  • Good luck for the op lily anne, I often. Think its worse if you have time to reflect on it- its called anticipatory anxiety- where we imagine all of the stuff that can go wrong- and generally do!.

    My last op, I had everything that could go wrong going wrong (in my head) but none of it did- my surgeon told me that he was quite good & that's why he got the job. It is scary but it has to be done. I hope your virus clears up soon.

    Take care

    Sue

    X

  • Thanks ladies,

    Little Maddie didn't go to ICU in the end, she has been sent home with anti-biotics and Calpol, phew!

    I've had nightmares every night, last night it was a nurse who re-used the needle for an injection, the night before I was in a bar when thedoctor turned up with a trolley, he was wearing a white coat and a white mask, I had to get on the trolly because he was going to operate right now, with him was a nurse who tied a band too tight around my wrist, I mean I'm dreading the next episode!

    Going to pack today, last time it was a shorter op, but I never thought about the op itself, this time I keep mentally picturing the operation and I am so squeamish, hubby said just don't imagine it, well I'm not trying to think about it, honest. Bought two nice sexy nighties to make me feel batter, and teal flannels from NEXT to represent ovarian cancer when I go in.

    Going to buy a bandana and get a wig, so I can mix and match, trying to be positive, but have had indegestion for two days, plus post sex backache where I'm out of practice! Now I can see someone on TV with ovarian cancer which has returned after 5 years cancer free, which has made me go hot and cold :(

    LA

  • I am so pleased about you granddaughter's progress it is such a worry but children also bounce back pretty quick.

    Your nightmares sound awful but just remember they are only nightmares and not real,but even so hard to get out of your head,I suppose what it boils down to is we are all squeamish but afterwards we wonder why..sending you my beat wishes love x G x :-)

  • You certainly have been heaping on the anxiety and stress! It won't be anywhere near as hard as you think. Fortunately it's rare for things to go wrong during operations, or afterwards. We sometimes pick up infections, but with an ever present thermometer, you can monitor that yourself and seek early attention if needed.

    Good luck! And looking forward to a happy report when you're up to it.

    Love Christine

  • Just want to wish you all the very best for the op Lily-Anne. So sorry you've been having a rough time but glad you've had better news about your granddaughter.Will be thinking of you this week.

    Love Mary x

  • Dear Lily-Anne - I hope the nightmares go away. You're so stressed about it I'm not sure what I can suggest to help. At least when you go in for your op all you have to do is to relax - and let them do the work. They're the experts. You'll wake up very comfortable just about an hour later with it all behind you.

    Please try not to worry too much. You could also perhaps talk to the oncology nurse if you've been allocated one to explain just how terrified and worried you feel. The good thing about anaesthetic is that you won't have nightmares.

    I wish I could help. xxx Annie

  • Dear Lily-Anne! Please try not to stress yourself so much. Use the 'search' button at the top of the page and put in preparing for operation or something similar. There's loads of stuff on to reassure you.i was very nervous before my op. I needn't have been, I was offered temazepam and a trainee nurse came in and watched over me for any signs of distress going into and coming out of anaesthetic. They couldn't have been more wonderful. I am sure it will be fine for you too. Let us know.

    Love Wendy xx

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