Decision Made

[Lily-Anne]

I've decided I am going ahead with the chemo, although it's a two week wait before my appointment because I just cannot physically go before then in my mind I keep worrying more about what if it goes untreated rather than the side effects.

I had a problem with a part of my scar yesterday it was really stining, so last night I asked hubby to have a look as it's a part of my body, tummy/pelvic line, I can't see, he said okay lets go to hospital, which panicked me as my husband is very laid back, I persuaded him to call out of hours doctor, couldn't face hours in a&e. So at 1am this morning I being prodded by a nurse and doctor, who say it is an infection and that what hubby could see was a thin layer of skin with pus underneath and once I started the antibiotics it would burst, enough to send me into light headed move (squeamish).

So I left there with a dressing and antibiotics and was told it wouldn't burst in the night, 2 antibiotics and 2 hours later it gushes, hubby is mopping up goo at 3am and has a 6am start for work poor thing, we dressed it and I emailed my oncology nurse so she could get back to me with some advice. At 9am she rings, my consultant isn't there but another consultant on the team is and wants me to go in to be checked at 12.30 and then have the wound dressed.

So arrive on the ward and it's the nurse from hell from when I was on the ward she tells me I can't wait there and sends me off to a waiting area, at 12.55 I see the consultant he is off to take a clinic and has a fit at the nurse, appently he'd been looking for me and they told him I wasn't there!

A nicer nurse took me into a room, opened the dressing squeezed out any more goo, gynae doc from ward has a look, nurse takes a swab, washes it dresses it and gives me dressings to take home.

I have to say post burst I feel better physically it's not so tender around my tummy, feel a bit sick with the antibiotics but she did say I would,

I'm worried that these post op problems mean there are cancer cells lingering and getting at me, so that has pushed me into going for the chemo. It's been tough on hubby today he finished work at 7 and is washed out, hopefully I can drive from next week and can maybe do a few hours work to take off the pressure. Fingers crossed that finally I'm on the mend, it's a tiny bit the size of a 20p that hasn't healed the rest is amazing.

LA

[Hidden]

Hi Lily-Anne,

How awful for you.. and what a terrible nurse...disgraceful that she should be in a nursing job but I am so glad you have come to this conclusion...and send you my best wishes and love

x G x

[Hidden]

Hi Lily-Anne

What a horrible experience for you. I hope the wound will now heal up properly. It must be a relief to you to have come to a decision about chemo. Once you get started with it you can tick off each treatment and the end of the tunnel will come.

I know how awful it feels to have to take so much from our partners - at one stage I was in bed and could not do a thing - my poor husband was working, cooking, taking care of my teenage daughter plus dog and cat - I felt awful. But it is not forever, and I know they just want us to be well.

All the best, Monique x

[Whippit]

Dear Lily-Anne

What a dreadful experience at the hospital. At least you were looked after properly. Has this infection come 5 weeks after your op? I'd have thought the external stitches would have repaired - but I guess everyone's different. I only ask because you say you're driving next week and I was told not to drive for 6 weeks.

I think it's good you've come to a conclusion about chemotherapy because you can now focus on that. As Monique says you can tick each one off. That's exactly what I did. If you feel ultra nervous about the chemotherapy ward ask your oncology nurse if you can have a look round to see what goes on. You'll find it all very normal with a few people sitting round reading books, chatting or playing with I-Pads. Nobody looks in any discomfort. In fact it's all uber-ordinary.

Good luck with your treatment. Glad to hear you've got the infection sorted out. Shame about the nurse.

Love Annie xxx

[Hidden]

Sounds distressingly yucky -- quite apart from the horrid care experience -- - but that bit will fade. Important thing is you took right decision to go tackle this thing, good for you.

Aren't husbands surprising through this stuff? Never fails to amaze quite what they are willing to do sometimes!

Good luck with it all and we are here...

Sue

[MargaretJ]

Dear L-A

I did a really long reply having experienced the same and managed to lose it! Suffice it to say I have been there, I described my eruption as Mount St Helens!

Just a tip! Bio-oil for the scar and the thinning dry skin produced by chemo!

May your progress be as good as mine without, if possible, the colostomy!

Thinking of you!

Love

Margaret

Xxxxxxxxxx

[MargaretJ]

Ps! Later this week I am going to post a (positive, I hope) blog tracing my experiences from pre-diagnosis to date in the hope that it may encourage some of the newbies!

Love M xxxxxxxx

[MargaretJ]

Dear L-A

Just realised you are hoping to drive soon! Make sure that you leave at least 6 weeks! And also are off painkillers! I almost ran a red light last week because the painkillers were affecting my concentration. I am now cutting down on the painkillers!

Love M

[osborne1963]

Good point Margaret. Painkillers and driving are not a good combo. Better play it safe.

Jackie

[beckyh]

Lilly- Anne

This whole thing has been most traumatic and with the 'nurse from hell' added to the mix is almost too much to deal with.

You may be interested to know that you can ask that the 'nurse from hell' is no longer part of your care team. You are within your rights to request this and the hospital has to comply as you are, in effect, withdrawing your consent for that person to treat you.

I did this with my own particular 'nurse from hell', and found it gave me two main benefits, one, I no longer had to deal with the nurse and, two, I felt I had a little more control over my situation - something which in the early day of diagnosis and treatment was very important.

I wish you well in your forthcoming treatment and hope the little cancery buggers are knocked into touch.

Becky

[jennybutler]

This also happened to me it was horrendous goo every where I had been in bed a week not eating etc. had doctor see me twice and had antibiotics no good in the end mine also burst disgusting smell and mess every where was taken back to hospital by ambulance and on a drip for week and dressings every day. All delayed my final 2 chemo. sessions for 1 month.best of luck with your chemo. hugs Jennyxxx

[Lily-Anne]

Yes, I'm five weeks post op today, although I've got backache I do feel better in myself, tired but better, sleeping better seems to make you want to sleep more. The goo wasn't smelly thankfully, hubby is popping in at lunchtime today to do my dressing, I couldn't get organised enough before he went to work this morning.

I won't drive until next week, as part of my work I retrain drivers who have been involved in a serious collision that is there fault, on behalf of the Police, and we do a drug driving chat, so I'm going to be okay with no medication which includes over the counter before I drive.

The nurse from hell is going to be included in my formal complaint to the hospital about my time on the ward, as she bullied me then and I know she recognised me as I had complained about her at the time. She is a third year student nurse. Funny enough I was sure I would confront her but I don't feel as strong as I thought yet.

I am still worried about chemo but last night I'm having a moment thinking, if it comes back at least i tried well if it comes back and I didn't then I'd feel it was my fault and how would I explain that to my children and my husband. I'm hoping to be able to do some work during chemo to take off the financial pressure, I hope our marriage is strong enough.

LA

[wendydee]

Hi Lily-Anne

It's such a shame that you have been through these problems with this nurse, especially. Just concentrate on moving on now Nd getting the chemo-blast to kick out any of the rogue cells. Then you can take on the nurse, if you come across her agin, when you feel stronger. I am sure your marriage will be strong. These men seem to come up trumps when the going gets tough. Mine did and he HATED anything to do with illness or weakness before I was I'll. I think it scared him He is so much more aware of these things now.

All the best, do keep us up to date with how things are going as you get better

Love Wendy xx

[charlie12]

Hi Lily Anne

So sorry you have had this experience , poor thing ! It's no wonder that you have been feeling dreadful with two operations and now an infection.

My dramas brought me lots and lots closer to my nearest and dearest , particularly to my lovely husband. I guess I would do the same for him ...and I'm certain that your hubby will be brillant too.

Hope you feel better soon.

Charlie xxx

[VickyEm]

Hi Lily-Anne

I am glad you have made your decision but sorry about all the hassle you are going through. Chemo will probably seem like a breeze compared what you have experienced so far.

Just wanted to mention that I have worked through all three of my chemo's (6 sessions each time). Basically I used to have 1 week off and two weeks working. It certainly helps if you have a sympathetic employer. I think mine was just pleased that I did not have the whole 6 months off and consequently he left me on full pay. I am certain that had I not come back to work in between he would have paid me sick pay only. My previous employers were the same (different one each chemo, lol!) Anyway, it is totally possible to do.

I wish you a speedy recovery from your op and this infection and then you will be fighting fit for the chemo.

Vx

[poleglass]

take arnica tablets they are great for helping to heal wounds.You can get them in the health shops.x

[Jan76]

Dear Lily-Anne ...

Its going forward time for you ..its been really pretty awful these past few weeks with what you have had to cope with .

Do so hope your infection will soon clear up .... keep us posted with how you get on with the start of your chemo and it sounds as though you have a wonderful hubby .... I tried to thank mine last week on my birthday in London but could not stop crying ..and he just said ..to me that I would do the same for him ..which is so very true .... Take care Lily-Anne xx

Love Jan xxx