Feeling overwhelmed

Hi ladies I haven’t been on here for a while I’ve been on 6 mths caelyx treatment & stupidly over confident as I was feeling & according to others looking amazing, at last blood test (1 mth ago) oncologist told me my CA125 has doubled and she best warn me that the treatment may not be as successful as I or she hoped. In this last month I’ve felt fatigued, niggly pain & generally crap. Tomorrow I get my scan results and I’m absolutely overwhelmed with a feeling of dread, I’ve pushed it to the back of my mind as much as I can but now with 15 hours to go I’m scared. Ridiculous I know because it won’t change the results, I don’t want to share my feelings with my family because I want to shield them as much as I can until tomorrow. So I’m posting on here just to say it because I know with you all that I’m not alone. Thank you xx

[Eriksendi]

Believe me I know that awful feeling of dread about scan results and I am sure that, not only me, but most of the lovely ladies on here empathise with you. This is a cruel disease and I think is always there in the back of our minds tormenting us. I hope that your results are positive. Sending best wishes x x

[gmc920]

I can definitely empathize with you, and just want to send you support and positive thoughts 🤞🙏🏻

xx Gina

[Sana59-US]

Sending hugs and positive energy and wishing you the best🤗🤗

[lorraine71-Australia]

Hi, No you are not alone we are here for you, i know how you feel about telling your family about all your fears, my youngest daughter is now on medication for stress and my eldest just shuts down, they are very supportive but it helps to come on here and know you all understand..I hope the news is good, I had Carbo Caelyx with good results..take care Lorraine xx

[BeeWild]

Got fingers crossed for you and even though worry doesn’t change scan results, we all do it! It’s terrifying and that feeling of dread is unbearable xx

Thinking of you sweetie and hoping there is something else they can add in to zap those aliens into oblivion for you!

I hate this disease so much feels like you climb a mountain only to have it kick you down again to start over!

Let us know how you get on

Sending massive hugs x

Bev xx

[Hidden]

Oh yes, I think we all recognise that dread. I think it's actually worse than having the results and them being disappointing, as we've been dreading.

And worries about what/how/if/ when to share, and if so, with whom..... really doesn't help.

Try and take 5 or 10 minutes out to do something you really like and which will absorb your brain.... music, make a cake, waste time on fluffy kittens, talk to a neighbour about the weather.... anything.

Best of luck! x

[ShropshireJo]

All the very best for today. We’re right behind you. Thank goodness for our band of sisters who can really understand what it’s like. Jo 🌺🌼🌻🌸🌹

[CarolynA]

Oh, yes, I know that feeling well. Just know that we do understand and that we are thinking of you. Take care and be kind to yourself. Sending love and a big hug. Carolyn 🌸🌼🌸🌼 xx

[Hopefulgal1]

It is just the worst feeling waiting and going through this and I wish you a good result on your scan. Emotionally alone we understand - It’s such a roller coaster. Xxxxx

[January-2016-UK]

It’s such an awful feeling of dread, the waiting and not knowing. It’s not so long now to find out for sure. All you can do is as you say to try and push it to the back of your mind. A good book or a film maybe.

[Katmal-UK]

Hi Scotty You certainly aren't alone, and I t5hink I am correct in saying each and every one of us know how you are feeling at this moment. I do hope your results aren't as you expect, please let us know, we are all here for you. In the meantime sending you a virtual hug. Kathy xx

[sticky3006]

I feel your pain Scotty. Its the most awful sense of fear and dread. I feel overwhelmed sometimes as nobody (except the lovely ladies on here) can really understand how we feel. My Ca125 rose last week and I now have to wait until next week to have it rechecked. The last few days have been terrible as I'm so scared. Today though I feel a bit more at ease thinking that sadly I cant change what will happen and I have to put my trust in others. My daughters are only 11 and 14 which makes the whole situation even more unbearable when I look at their lovely faces. Take care and good luck. We have options available to us remember xx

[Alifit]

Hi Scotty,

Oh gosh, this is so hard isn’t it? I can empathise with how you feel.

I’m having Caelyx and Carboplatin and am having my halfway scan next week and am starting to become anxious, particularly as my CA125 has nearly doubled since I started. I’ve tried to be philosophical, but am struggling with the side effects of the drug and have had some real ‘is it worth it’ moments.

I’m sending you all my good wishes for your results, do let us know how you are when you are ready..

With love, Ali x

[Neona]

Fingers crossed- please let is know how you get on.

[moonbeam4]

I followed a youtuber called Emily Haywood who had a special word for it, "Scanxiety " . 😤😕😕

[JayGeeCee]

Completely understandable that you are worried- waiting is terrible.

I also push things down with the family- dealing with their anxieties as well as your own is too much to bear at times.

Sending you positive vibes.

Let us know

Joy x