feeling so nervous about Mums appointment on Friday..

[LouieB123]

Morning all, not so much a question, just a general post about My mum. Not slept well again and I just have so much whirring round in my brain.

Following this recurrence on the bowel, Mum is being called into St Mary’s tomorrow to meet with the consultant who did her debulk surgery last year. I took that as promising news and she was told by a nurse that it’d likely be surgery again but they aren’t sure how to proceed yet… then we’ve also been briefly told it needs further investigation.. for those of you who remember our story following debulk for OC last year Mum was told they’d also found another appendix cancer. So certainly not a straight forward case…

I’m absolutely petrified about Friday. McMillan suggested I go to the appointment too to take all the info in and to support my dad (as he struggles) but I think I’ve taken that in my head as ‘go as there’s going to be tough news’.

I also wonder if they’ll suggest radical surgery (with HIPEC etc), which I honestly don’t know if she’d go through with. I know a few people on here have had this surgery and are doing well now? She has to take the chance if it’s available… surely..

Anyway sorry for the waffling post, just had to write something somewhere. Laura xxx

[0462County]

Hello Laura

I have ovarian cancer though I am in a different situation to your mum. I can't comment on your mum's experience. I just want to say I am thinking about you all and sending loads of hugs to you all in my message to you. Beth xx

[LouieB123 in reply to 0462County]

Thank you Beth ❤️ I’m sending you love and hoping that you’re doing well. Laura xx

[0462County in reply to LouieB123]

Thank you. I start my first ever chemo session on Monday. I feel fine in myself x.

[Lyndy]

Hi Laura It’s really hard to stay in the present, when every fibre of your body is preparing for battle! I’ve also been projecting like mad recently and had to give myself a good talking to.

The reality is that we can’t prepare when we haven’t got all the facts. So go to the appointment tomorrow armed with a note book and questions….no one has to decide anything straight away and you can always go back and ask again.

Your Mum’s team are not going to suggest anything that she can’t tolerate but she will have to be on board with any treatment they do suggest. With something like radical surgery, the patient’s desire to have it is key to the decision. You can negotiate too…and your Mum can agree to try a chemo combination but withdraw her consent later if she’s finding it too much.

You don’t need a fully formed battle plan before the appointment…so breathe….

Very best of luck, I hope tomorrow goes well xx

[LouieB123 in reply to Lyndy]

Thank you Lyndy… and you’re completely right, I know. It’s just so hard to not let your mind go wild with ‘what ifs’ isn’t it.. I hope more than anything that there are some options. I will take your advice and breathe, collect my thoughts and make a list. I think with her having had the 2 primary cancers, I just can’t help thinking sometimes that the odds are stacked against her and that’s a terrible way to think, I know. Trying to stay positive though and I DO believe she can get through this one, I really do.

Hoping you’re doing well too, you always have such reassuring (and very wise) words and advice for us on here. xxx

[Lind58]

Wishing you the best tomorrow and hopefully all answers. Hopefully there will be a plan in place 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

[Loorunner]

I haven't had a similar experience but just wanted to send you all the very best for the appointment today. Lyndy's words are indeed very wise - take a big deep breath, prepare a list of questions (I usually give a copy of my questions to the surgeon/oncologist as well, in case I miss one out by mistake), and don't be afraid to keep asking if things aren't clear. The team will be acting in your Mum's very best interests. I think often the anticipation of these meetings is so much worse than the actual thing. lots of love

[LouieB123 in reply to Loorunner]

Thh it and you loorunner xxx

[Newbery3]

Goodluck for today Laura 🍀 please listen to lyndy as she always makes sense 🙏 xxx sending you all a big welsh cwtch 💗 Rhian x

[Trickysite]

I am 76 and had a 10 hour operation last October so I guess that counts as radical. About 6 procedures, organs whipped out during it, if your mum can have keyhole surgery that is fastest recovery. I am very much doing normal things now though do like early to bed nights. If you want to know where I had my surgery pm me.

[LouieB123 in reply to Trickysite]

Thank you trickysite, I will do ❤️

[delia2]

Sending love and hugs.

[Mommoo65]

I remember not having any prepared questions with me at my first oncologist appt. He told me what they had found during hernia surgery and even gave me picts of the tumors they took during an exploratory laparoscopy. All questions came later when we had pre-surgery appts after I learned more about OC.