Feeling exhausted and emotional

Hello ladies, the last few weeks since my final chemo I have been feeling so tired that I can barely get out of bed at 2 o clock in the day (after 14 hours sleep). I am so cold all the time as well. Maybe my thyroid is getting lower again, I don't know. I have also terrible pain in my shoulder most days and then again some days I dont have any pain. I feel like I am not moving on from this. People see me in town and say arent you gret to be up and about but, what they dont see is that i get so tired I cant get all the shopping done. I went out with a friend of mine today and it was great to meet up with her as she has had a death in the family recently. I am fed up of being tired, and Christmas is the time to be "jolly". I am tired of putting on a brave face and people saying its all over me now. Mentally it takes its toll doesnt it.

11 Replies

  • You need to be patient and kind to yourself. It's normal for you to feel a bit down and also exhausted. You've been through a lot mentally and physically. I don't want to make it worse but it did take me a good 6 months to get back on my feet again. Everyone is different though but key is to be patient with yourself. I think we are all guilty of fighting too hard to get back to "normal" but the new normal is not as we know it. Al that sleep can only be good for you so just rest up and wrap up to help with the cold. The weather has drastically changed here in NI and normally I'm having hot flushes but actually slept with clothes on one night this week ! Unheard of for me since surgical menopause.

    Take care xo

  • Dear Damelza, that last chemo hit me like a speeding train. I thought I'd be feeling so much better 3 weeks post the final treatment. Not at all. It took me twice as long and more. I had dizziness and couldn't drive for 2 minutes months. I felt awful but at the same time I was relieved knowing I had no more chemo. I just gave myself time and now 3 months post treatment I feel so much better.

    Christmas is a month away. You won't be racing around but I feel sure you will feel stronger by then. Please give yourself a little time.

    My only Xmas shopping this year will be via Amazon. I'm planning 1 night out before Xmas. So no Xmas parties to tire me out. I'll meet friends for breakfast or they'll pop in for tea.

    Remember - everything can be on your terms if you wish it.

    Can I also say that you did a kind thing for your bereaved friend and I'm certain she appreciated it. A few weeks ago this would have been impossible for you.

    On the thyroid thing - I have an under active throid too. I've wondered if this has been made worse by chemo. I swerve between a hot flush and freezing cold but I dug out my heated blanket and stick it on the sofa (which is pretty much where I have taken to living). It really is cold at the moment too.

    Hugs T. X

  • Hello Rosewall101,

    Every little helps... For the cold, have you tried Indian Spiced Tea. If not the commercial brand from some health food shops, then try adding fresh ginger, a dash of cayenne, some cardamon seeds, a sprinkle of black pepper, in standard tea and steep for five minutes. This might warm you up inside and help?


  • Hello Damelza,

    Like T the last Chemo also hit me very hard to the point where I ended up in hospital with a fever and spent 2 nights in there (in an outpatients ward so it was not a restful two nights I can tell you!). I worked all the way through chemo but ended up taking 4 weeks off after the last session as it had such an impact on me. I never felt fatigue like it and I was sleeping a lot! I had aches and pains all over and couldn't move off the couch with the muscle soreness! It did get better as time went on and I agree with Julie you just need to give yourself a break and be kind to yourself! Your body has been through an awful lot and its tired and exhausted! Our bodies are resilient though and given time it will get better and better! With regard to mental health that is much more difficult I think! Again it gets better as time goes on but sometimes we need help with that! Exercise is great and I know you are a walker so getting out for a walk will help too! I started going to a gym about 6 weeks after I finished just gently at first and I still go 3/4 times a week if I can and I find it great! I feel great after it!

    Hang in there! It does get better but it does take some time!

    Mind yourself!


  • As the others have said, give yourself time. Rest when you need to, And try and get out for short walks when you can.

    My oncologist told me the effects of chemo can take a year to clear.

    You'll get there!

    Best wishes

    Judy x

  • Hello

    The cancer and treatment do take their told mentally and physicallyl and I find that if I do too much one day I'm wiped out the next. Some days coffee and cake and a bit of shopping and perhaps changing my books at the library are as much as I can manage. I try to listen to my body and not overdo things. I do a bit of shopping at a time, often in the local shops and farm shop and that helps my mood as I get out most days and meet a friend or two for coffee when they are free. Some of my friends work so I've had to call on people I don't know well but they've been great, and that has helped with the emotional side. Take care of yourself and you will recover gradually.

  • Hi

    I felt like you do when I finished chemo back at the end of May. I feel so much better now it's amazing. I'm back to walking in the Shropshire hills and hubby and I are currently decorating the lounge! Be patient, do what you can and what you enjoy and it will get better.

    Best wishes

    Lou xxxx

  • I finished chemo 5 weeks ago now and find it very difficult to get up before 11am most days. Even then I am still tired early evening. If I do get up at 8.30 say for my hospital appointments by 12 I could go straight back to sleep. Regarding my mental progress I have started taking citalopram antidepressant and can say it has done me the world of good. I am much more positive now. I hate taking tablets for anything other than my thyroxine for low thyroid but I'm so glad I decided to go ahead with these. My local hospice have arranged some complementary therapy so I am having a back neck and shoulder massage once a week to help with relaxation. I too wonder how long it's going to be before I get myself back to some kind of normal. My partner says I'm impatient, I guess it's just a matter of time. Looking on the positive side no more chemo. Yay!!! I wish you well, xx

  • I hear you loud and clear. I just thought the other day I am so sick of the word cancer. Mentally this whole thing takes it toll emotionally and physically. I can relate about being fatigued and tired. I sometimes wake up tired. I went to the doctors and told them and they said this whole thing was normal. Yikes. I just count the days until I feel better. And I try to get up and do something every day so that I don't feel like I waste a day. But don't feel like you are alone in the fatigue. The idea of a brave face makes me think. I don't think anyone puts on a brave face really. Because I feel like that sometimes but it would do no use to sit around feeling sorry for myself or ask anyone to help me feel better. I am getting counseling to help me adjust to all of this. But in reality the whole situation stinks. It is an interruption. But that is life. I am not wired in the sense of feeling sorry for myself. It is an emotional rollercoaster but try to think of something positive every day. Even if it is something that seems very small. Because I have been in the situation years ago where you can check out all the negatives and dwell on them and it gets you absolutely nowhere except to feel like a wreck. I don't need all of what I am going through plus the addition of negative or depressed thinking. That is just too much to handle in addition to all of this. I hope that this helps. I think those of us who think we are putting on a brave face are not acting. We really are brave and have something going for us already. When I first had the surgery and chemo I could barely make it to the mail box. Just be patient. And don't worry about what you think others may be thinking. I did that for a very small while and that does not do any good either. I have no hair right now. That is a very big adjustment for me.

  • Hello Andyfay,

    So far away and around the world are we scattered with various cancers; yet all linked through our strength of mind, powerfulness as individual people wanting and needing to be well and survive that which seeks to destroy us.

    Cancer is flawed, it is not yet a perfect killer In that by killing us, it kills itself. We can, will and do fight it, relentlessly. Tiredness is our temporary retreat while others take up the fight on our behalf.

    Enjoy that well earned sleep, pace yourself and to misquote(?) Leonard Cohen: through the cracks the light shines.

  • I hate misquotes so here it is.

    Ring the bells that still can ring

    Forget your perfect offering

    There is a crack in everything

    That's how the light gets in.

    Leonard Cohen

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