Overwhelmed

[Neona57]

Had a complete meltdown at my scan today. Imagined all sorts of awful things while lying in the scanner and just cried and cried. Just shows that you can't blank it all out all the time. My husband was great but I know it makes him feel more insecure when I am not being strong. Now the long wait for results.

[chrissapam]

oh am so sorry...you're right we can't always keep up the brave act. Hope you don't have to wait too long.....thinking of you...Chris xxx

[Neona57 in reply to chrissapam]

Thank you.

[Lyndy]

I think it's very difficult to pretend everything is normal when you are semi naked, cannulated and in a scanner. It always felt the most lonely place to me...don't be hard on yourself xx

[Neona57 in reply to Lyndy]

Yes-and knowing that the scanner is seeing whatever is there but you can't see it. I guess the technology will come though for instant results.

[Marzipan]

That tube is little like a coffin, and it feels kinda like being buried. I think it's perfectly natural to feel like weeping. I cried in there too. Hoping for the best result for you.

[caf132]

You don't have to be so strong here Neona..

we all understand. i know what its like to be strong on the outside but not so much on the inside. I want to be strong for my kids so they don't worry about me so much that it overwhelms them. Vent and cry away, we are here for you. Please keep us posted.

Hugs, Carol

[Neona57 in reply to caf132]

Thanks -results on 29th.

[Lily-Anne]

My hubby is unnerved when I have a meltdown too. I had my scan Monday and was trying to wish it away. X-ray specs should be provided so there's no surprises

LA xx

[Neona57 in reply to Lily-Anne]

Xray specs yes! I'm sure instant analysis will come in the future.

[kat98116]

My daughter (my primary caregiver/person) goes nuts when I'm not in "brave/positive" mode. She tries to help me "change my thoughts." She means well, but I also need to feel my feelings. Most of the time I'm positive, but sometimes a meltdown is just what I need. When that happens I have a dear friend - actually two - who know how to just listen and love me right where I am. I've learned over the years (I'm 63) that I need to pick the right place to go with my feelings. Sometimes the person closest to us is not the best pick because they are so invested in our survival. They're scared to death, just as we are. With love from Seattle USA, Kathy

[Neona57]

Thanks Kathy-I'm so glad you have some good friends who listen. My friends have been incredibly supportive but I don't know anyone who truly understands the fear. I certainly didn't before all this happened!

[thesilent1]

I think we all have our moments when all we can do is cry. Mine was yesterday. Not so bad today. We are only human after all! Good luck with the scan results. Ann xx

[Neona57 in reply to thesilent1]

Thanks -results on 29th.