My partner is having his biopsy on 6 th June at 10.30 at last, he is losing so much weight and sleeping lots. We are in Scotland on holiday at his sister's house and he is telling them today. I cannot sleep and feel totally sick, stomach is in a knot. Just cannot stop crying! I feel a flare coming on too. My work is being very accommodating and getting cover for me to go to all his appointments with him. When I get back home I am packing up my flat to move in with him. I am feeling so many different emotions at the moment, fear, guilt, anger to name but a few. I have to try and be strong for everyone especially for my lovely man. I am pleased I have this site to have a rant! Even though I have my family near, I feel so alone! Thanks for listening. Take care everyone.
Update: My partner is having his biopsy on 6 th June at... - NRAS
Update
Aww Carol such a massive emotional moment you are going through but the support you are giving too. Try to take some moments out so when your partner sleeps try to sleep too or go for a gentle walk to breathe in some fresh air to try and balance your system out as well.Big hugs x
It’s awful what you and your partner are going through atm. Just remember to look after yourself. Stress always makes me really poorly, so please remember to look after you. Telling his sister will help, as you can be there for each other and talk things out. Take care.
I'm so sorry to hear what you're both going through Carol, it's such a painful thing for you both and I wish you strength trying to cope with it. I'm not surprised you have a flare starting after hearing the news. It's good that your work is being accommodating, that must be a bit of a relief for you. Thinking of you both. xx
My heart goes out to you but you will get through it together. Try to have the courage to ask for help whether it's friends, family, work or medics. When my husband had his stroke I realised that I didn't have the energy to worry about what people thought so I was honest with all my friends and work colleagues and explained that I'd be asking for help on the understanding that they would be honest in return and feel free to say no so that none of us wasted time feeling guilty. It worked really well and made it easier for everyone. Do try to find some time for yourself too; I know how difficult that can be but you can only help him if you stay (relatively) well yourself.
Sending you both a gentle but supportive hug. xx
I feel for you so much. I’ve been in the same position when my precious husband was diagnosed with very advanced bowel cancer. It’s so hard to accept it and you feel scared and angry too with the unfairness of it all. Your family will be good support so you must talk things through and lean on them when you need to. My husband just wanted life to carry on as normal and I tried . I didnt have RA then so at least I wasn’t dealing with that as well, but I’m sure you’ll flare up a bit so you need to rest as much as possible and try to take each step as it comes. Take care and hugs to you both.
Dear carol.
So sorry to hear your news please take any support or help that can make things a bit easier.
Take care and take each day as it comes. x
What an awful time you are going through just now. I know worry is all consuming and it will be difficult for you to relax but you must take some time to recharge your batteries or you won't be in any state to help your partner. Try to listen to some soothing music or watch funny programmes on tv just to distract you for a while. I hope you can find something to help you to cope with everything. Love and hugs. Xx
I'm so very sorry to hear this Carol. Somehow I missed your previous post. This is such an awful time for both of you, but I'm sure that having you will be helping him with what he is having to deal with. Don't be afraid to let your tears flow and don't think that you must be strong...that will only build up your stress levels and have a negative impact on your RA. Ask for, and accept, help. Others have said it, but do try to take care of yourself too,Your partner will want that and remember that he is probably as concerned for you as much as he is for himself. May God bless you both, with love and prayer, xx❤️🙏
Oh Carol, so so difficult for you, I’m sure you feel helpless to do anything to help him. But you are being amazing, being beside him all the way, your moral support, care & friendship is paramount to him at this time. Telling his sister & family is going to make a big difference as they too can hold your hands, certainly not easy to do but knowing will support you both… & them, you all need each other at this time. My thoughts are with you at this extremely difficult time… & it makes perfect sense that you have mixed emotions flying around at this time, let it all out it’s better for you & very normal to anyone in your current situation.. I admire your honesty in sharing something so difficult to write let alone deal with, but this is the lovely part of this community, I love reading their posts supporting each other when faced with difficult & challenging time… take care, be kind to yourself, you are doing amazingly well even if inside you feel your crumbling, your there holding his hand 🙏🏻🌸
So very sorry your both are going through this, sending love and strength xx
So sorry Carol. My husband is going through chronic lung rejection after a lung transplant which he had only 12 months ago so I do have empathy with what you are going through. The knot in your stomach I totally get and has been my constant companion. The only advice I can give is to take some deep breaths each morning before you face the day. Share your feelings with people you trust as they will be there for you I have found. Try to remain as calm as you can muster at least in front of your loved one because he will need that. It's not easy I know. If you need to cry then you have to let the pain out, so cry. We are all here for you to give support as you travel this horrible journey. Take each day as it comes and try not to think too far ahead. Lots of love.Linda xx
I'm so so sorry you're going through this, sending you big hugs xx
I'm sorry to read this and this is a bit slower than my husband who had the CT then MRI and biopsy in a week. It is hard but you have to stay positive as if you don't then you're not in a good position to be supportive. A friend rang me last week full of gloom and it actually made me cross. Life is more than a diagnosis that can't be changed and we have to just get on with. I know this is such a shock but why have they given such a final diagnosis before doing a biopsy ? around here they definitely say that they need all the facts before a final prognosis and whilst its annoying as we all need to know, its also much more definitive. I really feel for you but don't give up and make the most of every day and stay hopeful. As they said to my husband "you'll die with this cancer , but not of it " it obviously won't be the same for everyone but wait and see what the biopsy results are and take it from there.
I'd just add get your rest and also see if there is a local support group or have you already spoken to the Macmillan nurse? My husband and I were after his diagnosis taken to the side room with the Mcmillan nurse and all the booklets and were advised don't be too worried as she was put in the hospital to talk to the patient with the Urology nursing sister and he was given her phone number along with the nursing sister for any questions. He was also rang on the Friday to see if he had any questions. But it was really very relaxed and calming. As the Mcmillan nurse said she'd marked in the booklets the bits to read but not the rest as that didn't apply to him.
I hope your partners hospital is as good and don't forget to make sure he's getting all the state help he can access and above all don't give up. xx
Such a difficult time for you both. Thinking of you🌈
Sending big hugs xxxx
Roller coaster emotions, crying will be a release for your system. Sending virtual hugs 🤗
Thank you all for your encouraging replies. Take care everyone.
❤️and hugs to you x
Update on hubby.....
update on father
Help...nothing I say or do is right!!
