When a non-quitter has too many opinions

Has anyone had issues with someone close to you that is an active smoker who seems to know how to correctly quit, has all the answers, opinions and facts yet has never quit attempted to quit their own addiction?

Well, I have a parent who is this way. My step dad is quitting smoking and she told him in front of me (well yelled at him) to not tell everybody he is quitting, to shut up about it and just do it. I chimed in and said, "Well, I am going to tell everybody I quit in the hopes that those that still smoke will have enough respect not to smoke by me."

She changed her tone then and said that she doesn't think it's smart to tell people you quit in case you fall off the wagon. I told my step dad I'm proud to tell people I quit and like watching smokers smoke because it makes me feel good for not looking sick smoking them things anymore.

I mean come on, I'm 12 days smoke free today and my moodiness is not in the mood (lol) to hear all that foolery from someone who still smokes. This person smokes just as much as my step dad yet talks down to him for smoking so much. I think she is jealous or is afraid that if he quits that she will have to too, but either way, it's really ridiculous how opinionated people can be about something they have yet to do for themselves. I apologize for the rant.

7 Replies

  • Sheena...Yes, there is supporters and supporters where the latter is that very irritating nagger...One to three weeks into a quit is the make or break stage...I think we all wished for an Island in the Caribbean, away from people, bars and shops...But then we would not have the real supporters like wife, children and in my case grandchildren and this forum with us .....You did the right thing to throw your hart out , Sheena...we are here for you and just so let you know..You are doing extremely well..12 days is huge..congrats !!

  • Thanks!

  • Oh dear.

    Well I agree with you. Sometimes there are people who feel this way and it can often appear, will do or say anything in order to sabotage what you are trying to do. Everybody does things differently but there is evidence that being accountable to other people, (in this case by telling them you are quitting) allows for a greater chance of success. Indeed, being a closet smoker (me) and quitting without being able to tell hardly anybody, made it doubly difficult. I made myself accountable to the guys on here instead. There were times when not wanting to admit failure to the people here was the only thing stopping me from relapsing!

    As you rightly pointed out, it also makes other smokers aware of your quit so hopefully they won't offer you a cigarette and so on.

    Keep going as you are. 12 days is awesome 😃 Don't let any negative comments rub the shine off of your achievement.

    Keep plodding on! Rant as much as you like - we're all right behind you 😊

  • Thank you so much for caring!

  • That is what we are here for. ☺

  • Hey Sheena, yeah, I hear ya girl!! I had this with a work colleague, every couple of days she would ask if I was still off them or 'did I cave yet' - it was so frustrating and very annoying and deflating - the way I tackled it would be not to EVER discuss my quit with her and if she asked I would give her the exact time lapse of my quit in the most cheerful tone I could, after the 6 months she gave up! I felt sorry for her in a way as knew she hated smoking but just couldn't give up as she really suffers from smoking with brutal chest infections every other month or so. It is also heartbreaking watching family members smoking but we can't be preachers, they have to make the decision themselves. I came on here to rant numerous times, you do the same, family are proud of you, its just very hard for them as they so wish they could be free from the smoke demon too!

    Below is my post 20 months ago, so you are not alone :D


  • Wow! Okay so now I don't feel like the spruce goose for thinking someone could possibly be envious of my progress. Thanks for showing me your older post and your support!

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