Hi everyone, i just found this forum again today. I used it / your all's support back when I quit smoking may 31, 2013. Back then the forum was different, which is why it took me a long time to find it again, but i finally did through my email. Sadly, i started smoking again August 8, 2014. Yes, i remember the exact day, it was in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. I knew it was wrong and I foolishly thought at first I wouldn't be addicted, and of course within a week I was smoking all the time again. American spirit light blue,one of the strongest brands IMO and I've read they have way more nicotine. So I've been smoking again these past two years and I've been struggling with quitting again for at least a year. I keep thinking it will be easy, one day I'll just poof, not want to. It's funny because there are days I manage to convince myself I don't need to smoke, and go all day without, and feel great and proud and like i can already breathe better. inevitably, then something dramatic happens to me where I have to smoke. Almost as though i am somehow subconsciously inventing these dramas so I can smoke. I mean, i wouldnt do that on purpose, it sounds crazy. I live with a smoker now, and i didn't before, which also makes it much harder, as he doesnt want to quit, but he doesnt smoke nearly as Much as i. Thinking I'm always going to quit tomorrow literally makes me chain smoke the night before, to "live it up". Then I feel physically awful, so I think i just won't smoke because I of that, and then I do anyway! I'm just miserable over it, it's gotten to be way too big a deal. And i just want to get back to where I was when I wrote those posts three years ago. Finding them and reading them again todAy has been profound, and i cant beleive it was me. And this is me now. Also I am very committed to doing this cold turkey, as I did it that wway before so I know it works, plus I'm a suspicious American and sensitive to the fact that most of the "help" out there is really just a trick to buy a new product. Any help and support anyone can provide might help, it certainly did before, three and a half years ago. Thanks guys.