Relapsed, and will try again soon x

[xinyi]

So I bought a pack yesterday and have been chain smoking quite a bit.

Was on my 53rd day of being smoke-free and my boyfriend broke up with me and I just needed to allow myself to collapse and use this as a crutch.

I don't want or intend to get back to smoking regularly, but just feel like I need it for now. I quit also partly because of him. He hates the habit for especially for anyone he's close to, as he wants them to live a long and healthy life. I had my own reasons for quitting, though admittedly they weren't really strong ones. Just kind of "I should do this.. It's time.. I want to not be dependent on something so horrible and unhealthy for me etc." But feel like maybe they weren't really strong ones or I hadn't internalise them properly and really believed them.

Any advice on getting through this would be greatly appreciated. And I'm so glad I found this site all those weeks ago when I first quit, so that I may have the support and resources here to try again.

Will get my order again soon, and quit again. I believe I'll come out stronger the next time around x

[Tracey3 1 Year Smoke Free]

Just when we feel life is ok, a huge curve ball, comes and hits us, it's quite normal to revert back to what we know, indeed the fact you have posted shows a inner strength, that your going to have another first quit day.

I,m always saddened when people are going through difficult and emotional times, but this hard time will pass, and better days are ahead I,m sure

For many (including my self) have failed quits behind them,) But you managed nearly two months, that's truly fantastic, be proud of that

Wishing you better times, and look forward to your updates.

[RoisinO1 Administrator 3 Years Smoke Free]

Sorry to read xinyi that you relapsed - the fact you are on here sharing this shows how much you want to beat Mr Nico - my advice to you would be to get back that mindset you had 50 days ago and get back on your new quit as soon as possible, the longer you leave it, the harder it will be for you. Read, read and read more on addiction and above all learn from this relapse which will stand to you when you begin your new journey,

We will be here for you and look forward to seeing you in Day 1 very soon

[xinyi 1 Month Smoke Free in reply to RoisinO1]

Thank you RoisinO1 . Hadn't thought of me posting here as a good sign, but guess that's true. Will take on your advice and will post back here again when it's Day 1

[mushen Valued Contributor]

Hello. I am sorry to hear you are having such a tough time of things at the moment. Perhaps deal with one thing at a time. You are more than likely feeling emotionally battered right now, so come back to your quit when you are good and ready. I failed more than once so you are not alone in this. What I can tell you about a future quit, is that you have to really, really want to do it and want to do it for yourself, nobody else. My husband still smokes and I never say anything to him because the desire to stop has to come from him, otherwise it is a pointless exercise that will likely result in failure.

Don't waste valuable energy feeling bad about relapsing - you have enough to deal with at the moment.

We will all be here when you are ready. 😊

[xinyi 1 Month Smoke Free in reply to mushen]

Thank you so much mushen for your reply. Especially the bit about not wasting valuable energy. Hadn't thought of that but it makes so much sense. Thank you for the encouragement and support x

[Prenteg]

You'll get your mojo back. 53 days is way cool and an emotional affront as you suffered would drive most folks back into the clutches of nicotine. The most important thing to remember is you've done it already so just using it right now. You'll be fine, have total faitch in you

[xinyi 1 Month Smoke Free in reply to Prenteg]

Thank you for the advice and encouragement

[Hercu Valued Contributor]

Xinyi...Sorry for the relapse but I think you have cut yor nose to spite your face....Because your boyfriend hate smoking and broke up with you for whatever reason you grabbed the one thing he unlikes the most....Was it to spite him ? because 53 days is almost 2 months and you should have been fairly over the edge...

Please, I am not throwing stones but you need to get mind over matter, throw away that packet of cigarettes and show your (ex) boyfriend you are stronger than he ever anticipated.

Join us and soon you will be a smoker who never wants to smoke again....!!

[RoisinO1 Administrator 3 Years Smoke Free in reply to Hercu]

Excellent post Hercu and advice for xinyi

[Hercu Valued Contributor in reply to RoisinO1]

Wish I had Roisin ??.... Don't Defend.....Attack will be my best advice....!!

Strongs !!

[xinyi 1 Month Smoke Free in reply to Hercu]

Hey Hercu, thanks for the tough love! Admittedly I did consider not starting again because I knew he didn't like it, and I respected that and knew logically that I shouldn't, especially after having made it that far. In my mind, it felt like I needed to just focus on me and do it for myself. But yea that's ironic. Maybe subconsciously I thought what you said. Will take on what you've said, thank you.

[Hercu Valued Contributor in reply to xinyi]

Thank you Xinyi....Sometimes you must be cruel to be kind.....I am really sorry if I was to harsh but it is your body and you made it so far...Truly there was days when I wondered if it is worth it to quit... But the moment I smelled the soil...the grass....my own wife... I knew I never want to smoke again.....So please jump back on and and quit....!!!