Day three is wrapping up and and I'm cautio... - No Smoking Day

No Smoking Day

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Day three is wrapping up and and I'm cautiously optimistic. ( But angry at the hub's.)

Cashierlady profile image
19 Replies

Hello all, day three almost went by without a hitch. I'm still vaping it up but I'm not really even wanting cigs today( though I can't speak for tomorrow but I'll accept my gift for the day!) I'm feeling good about my quit but I did have a pretty bad argument with my husband today and while we did apologise we have barely spoken since the fight except to apologize and figure out dinner plans . We fought because he smoked inside and I asked him not to (probably not nicely) and he said that if I get to vape inside he gets to smoke inside because it's no different . So I have started to take my vape outside but I just feel like it's not the same thing and I feel like he keeps doing or saying things to undermine my quit. To name just three : he is still leaving his smokes all over the house when he promised to keep them in the car or at least hide, he keeps saying stuff that insinuates I'll be smoking within a week , and the one that aggravated me the most " when and if I were to quit I would have to actually put them down cold turkey. So I can feel like I actually did something." Guys I love my husband and I hope if he ever wants to, cold turkey works him but that comment both hurt and angered me. Anyway I mostly needed to vent before I said something I couldn't take back. I am still optimistic and continuing my quit . I've never actually made it the end of day three before (ecig or no ecig)! So thank for letting me gripe when I needs it and for the support . I'm am so grateful .to you all .thanks again!

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Cashierlady profile image
Cashierlady
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19 Replies
Jwk1962 profile image
Jwk19621 Year Smoke Free

That's a great number. My favorite actually(the late Dale Earnhardt Sr).race car #. And you also have day #4 to l@@k forward to tomorrow.. your doing great and will be an inspiration to the day 1 and newly quiters 6 months down the road.😀🚭🔠 Jeff

Cashierlady profile image
Cashierlady in reply to Jwk1962

I know seeing all the 3 and six months and such gas really encouraged me. Thank you for the support

mushen profile image
mushenValued Contributor

Wow! I would have been upset too! Without wanting to make an already difficult situation worse, I do think your complaints are legitimate. However, it is what it is and sometimes those around us act unexpectedly when we are trying to make a change in lifestyle. Do not let this put you off.

It does not matter how you quit, only that you do and the method you use is neither here nor there. I think that vaping in the house is acceptable but if It's going to cause an argument, do it outside when he's there. Quitting is hard enough without making life more difficult.

As for the cigarettes laying around the house, I think I would gather them up and put them out of sight.

Keep going strong.

Cashierlady profile image
Cashierlady in reply to mushen

Thanks mushen , I really appreciate that. I decided I really don't mind taking it outside anyway, I was just really put off by his actions and his words. I'm probably wrong for it but I'm using them as more fuel for the flame, my quits is going surprisingly well despite all the craY I've had the past few days. He's not messing that up for me . He calmed down to though. I just wish he would tell me he is proud or at least act like he supports me. It's all gravy though, I'll get there.

mushen profile image
mushenValued Contributor in reply to Cashierlady

If It's any consolation, my husband never said he was proud of me quitting either (he still smokes and probably always will). He just never, ever mentions it. I did have to tell him in the early days to hide his cigarettes as well. He did eventually do it but as for support, I got little to nothing. It wasn't as if I was asking him to quit but still, he never saud a word about it. While this doesn't make things easier I found that his behaviour kind if reinforced the fact that my quit was all about me, nobody else.

Your quit is all about you and for you. Support or not, you have it within you to quit and stay quit.

You've got this. 😊

Cashierlady profile image
Cashierlady in reply to mushen

Thank you thank you !I agree completely. Its falls to me . I can do this , heck I am doing it and needing tools doesn't make my quit count any less . Mushen thank you for the support, I think knowing someone else's journey was so similar to mine really reinforces that no obstacle is to much and it means a lot that you have responded to my gripes and shared some of your experiences with me. I'm very grateful.

mushen profile image
mushenValued Contributor in reply to Cashierlady

My pleasure.

We're all here for you. 😁

lagatachocolate profile image
lagatachocolate2 Years Smoke Free

Concentrate on your quit; he probably wishes he could stop now too!

Cashierlady profile image
Cashierlady in reply to lagatachocolate

I bet he does, but I don't think he will at least not yet. For now his smoking has cut back since he started going outside. Thank you for the encouragement💓 plugging on through day four for everyday I get through I build a bit of confidence it's paying off . Thanks again!

in reply to Cashierlady

Cashierlady.. This is a time for you to heal your body and mind . If anything or anyone is causing you anger ,you will ignore it and just focus on you .If you see cigarets around , you should use that to practice will power ..or do whatever it takes to stay quit . It must be a terrible reality to see the ones around you are not supporting you .. but at the same time you should not get distracted by emotions at this time !Once you deside to quit ,you start a new relation with yourself it’s like falling in Love all over again ..Stay strong ! ☝️

Cashierlady profile image
Cashierlady

Thanks Karina. I am feeling a lot better. Invested in an oil burner last night to make my house smell pretty and help relax me .I have stayed quit so far. As for the packs laying around I either pretend their empty and start muttering to myself about him not throwing trash away or I just tuck the pack down into his chair where I can't see them. And you are absolutely right about falling in love with yourselves. I'm taking the best care of myself as I have in years and I have to say it's start to really pay off :) I thank you for your kind words and wisdom.

RoisinO1 profile image
RoisinO1Administrator3 Years Smoke Free

Hey Cashierlady - sorry for only getting around to replying now - I think I have an idea how your hubby is feeling as I continued to smoke for a year and a half after my husband stopped - I felt horrible, guilty (annoyed with myself still when I think about it) and my heart ached not to be able to stop too as I desperately wanted to - amazingly I followed in his foot steps and your hubby might very well do the same and judging by his comments and actions he deep down wants to stop too. The lack of support might be a blessing in disguise for you to be all the more determined to succeed and never ever smoke again.

I really have huge respect for people who stop with the constant temptation readily available to them, you are doing great. Mushen gave you excellent advice there..... keep up the good work and plan that treat for your first massive milestone of 1 week :P

Cashierlady profile image
Cashierlady

Hi Roison! No problems at all. Thanks for checking in ! I think I'm gonna treat myself to a nice haircut and then make a dentists appointment. My teeth are really bad but a I never wanted to go to the dentist and get a beautiful smile while I still smoked and would just mess it right back up. Now that im more confident in myself and my quit I think it's time to get a smile I can be proud of to match the person I am 😊😀. Mushen has been great inspiration for me on my journey i like to read her posts (well everybody's posts) and remember that im not the first or only person to do this. Thank you as well for that helpful insight about my husband . We mostly moved passed and today he congratulated me as he hadn't realised I was already on day five 😋 he seemed impressed haha. I'm really trying not to take rage out on him as I'm not sure how much rage is toward him and how much is fueled by craves . I'm just glad we stopped fighting haha . For what it's worth I don't think I would have survived the temptation with out my vape. It really is a blessing. Thanks again for checking in and for the support it really means a lot 😎

RoisinO1 profile image
RoisinO1Administrator3 Years Smoke Free in reply to Cashierlady

Ah our mushen is such a rock to us all here, her way with giving advice on everything and making you feel better is invaluable.

Definitely a GREAT idea/plan to go to your dentist, I put it off for over 2 years after I stopped and had to get a good bit of work done from extractions, fillings and 2 root canal :D

Delighted to read your hubby congratulated you, the rage by the way is perfectly normal, I scrubbed walls and floors to control mine and not use my hubby as a punch bag!! It will settle down in a few weeks.

Cashierlady profile image
Cashierlady in reply to RoisinO1

Well my floors could definitely use some scrubbing 💪 I'ma clean till I'm not mean lol

Phobicmaniac profile image
Phobicmaniac2 Years Smoke Free in reply to Cashierlady

Hi Cashierlady , sorry haven't been on in a few days, I'm Olivia and stopped over 2 years ago. My username is as a result of my phobia of dentists but that is all in the past now, I cannot recommend enough going to your dentist, the confidence I have now has more than doubled since I stopped after getting my new smile back - see my post below before Christmas....

healthunlocked.com/nosmokin...

Congratulations on your quit so far, you are doing great :)

Cashierlady profile image
Cashierlady

Hi phobic. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I am terrified of the dentist but my teeth were already bad . During my pregnancy I took all the vitamins and stuff but a serious calcium deficiency ate my smile (now I know stopping while I was pregnant also contributes) but my teeth look so bad and that's not the kind of person I am. I just want a pretty smile to go with my healthier and happier me. 😐 Thank you so much for the support and for sharing you story with me. It really means a lt

Phobicmaniac profile image
Phobicmaniac2 Years Smoke Free in reply to Cashierlady

You are very welcome Cashierlady - post me or message me anytime, it was such a huge help to me to be able to post here about it as could talk to nobody about it other the my hubby.....

Cashierlady profile image
Cashierlady

Yes. I have to say I'm glad that I found this forum it has been an absolute blessing in my quit having a place to come and safely talk about everything going on. I just saw you told me your name, Olivia . I'm sorry to I did not acknowledge that earlier

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