Sos! Sos! Sos!

Arrrrrrrrgggggghhhh!

My husband has just had a right go at me and made me cry just because I am using an e cig 0% nicotine, he sees it as a failure in my quit! We never argue and he can't seem to grasp the fact that if he makes me cry I want to give in completely and go and buy some cigarettes!!! He has never smoked and just doesn't get it! I have smoked a lot for over 40 years and the Ecig does make it easier, I would rather not use it but surely it is better than using cigarettes! I just can't seem to get through to him!

I now feel like such a failure and I was feeling quite proud of myself, now on day 19 and hadn't been anywhere near caving until 10 minutes ago:(

Bev. X

22 Replies

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  • BevJk

    so sorry.

    go outside.calm down and have your e-sig.

    catch your breath.

    if hubby followed you ask him to give you 5mins.

    ask him to try and understand how hard stopping is.

    does he love chocolate ? Or a drink ?

    explain its same as that.your stuck on it and its hard to get off it.

    if he can't help you.i don't know.he should be so proud of you

    don't give in.your doing so good.

    take care 😐

  • Bevjk...this certainly is not the time to fight/argue over a simple thing like an E-cig....I know it is not your doing and also know that on day 19 is is very difficult to stay calm and normal reasoning is almost not possible... To stop smoking and inhaling nicotine is surely the most uncomfortable situation someone can experience... You will really need to explain to hubby this situation and continue to use your E-Cig...Wishing you all the best but please whatever you do do not buy that pack of cigarettes.... Strongs !!

  • Giving up the smokes is very hard , so to get through your quit is to get rid of hubby :) smore free and nag free can't fault it :) lol

  • K

  • Oh my lovely , this is not failure, it's a success, day 19 and still quit is truly fantastic.

    You can stay strong, have a little time to yourself, a bath with candles, chocolate, any thing yeti pass this brief moment in time.

    Although our family's don't understand at times just how hard quitting can be, we are here, many many people would love to be where you are.

    It's a bit of a storm, but I can say, it will be a shower next time and a drizzle after that.

    Doing fantastic, be very proud, be a little selfish if needed, your sooo worth it

    Keep posting. Keep going

  • Hi Bev,

    I was on a 0% nicotine ecig for a while (still use it when I go out for a drInk) and a few others here have used them as a way to quit, hopefully for good. In my experience, once you have been using it for a while you will start to forget about it and eventually drift away. You don't have a physical dependence to nicotine anymore and the hand to mouth habit isn't as strong and will fade. This took months for me by the way so take your time and don't feel pressured.

    It's not for me to get in the way of marital affairs but try to be confident in yourself and trust that if you stick with the ecig you will eventually wean yourself off it. Hope this helps.

  • Whoa!! Hang on!!

    First if all. You are NOT a failure. Secondly, do NOT buy cigarettes because of this. You are doing so well, do NOT cave in.

    I think you need to have a word with husband who clearly doesn't understand. Perhaps show him some sites such as this one and WhyQuit.com which can explain addiction. Using an E-cig is simply an alternative form of NRT which is why the NHS are set to dish them out. They work! Using one with with 0mg is the same as putting on a patch with nothing in it!!

    Please do not give up. Please don't feel like a failure when clearly, after 19 DAYS, you are not.

    Keep using your e-cig. They are proven in helping people quit smoking.

    You are doing an amazing job. Dry your tears and remind yourself just how much you have achieved so far. ☺

  • Thanks everyone,

    I went to bed as I have never smoked in bed! I knew if I went out I would be tempted to buy some I was so upset! I have tried to explain that it is better than smoking but I don't think he will ever understand. I will use it where he can't see me and that will stop me using it constantly and hopefully I will be able to stop using it over time. I really only wanted it as I went out yesterday and last sat with him for drinks and I knew it would be my hardest test to sit outside with all our friends smoking and I was fine didn't bother me at all so felt really good and then all this today has really put me back! Now going to see my quit counsellor and have a neck and back massage!

    Thanks for all your replies just had to vent, much appreciated. X x

  • Good strategy and good recovery Bev, well done.

    Enjoy your massage, could do with one myself...back is crippling me today!

  • Well done Bev. I think you are doing very well indeed. 😃

  • Sweety, I feel for you because I have a partner the same make and model than yours.

    Ignore him. If he never smoked, he doesn't have a say in your quit. He doesn't have a clue of what it's like.

    Enjoy your e-cig. It's your safety blanked. Use ituntil YOU are confortable that you can leave it.

    The husband?! Dog house tonight!

  • BevJk , my DH did the exact same thing to me. Even when I pleaded.. I said please don't fight with me, I'm trying to quit smoking'. He was so angry with me he yelled' maybe you should not of ever started to smoke'. That struck me hard. I thought about smoking at that very minute but realized I didn't quit for him. I QUIT FOR ME. I wasn't letting his nasty comments get in my way or ruin my plan. As much as it may have helped for a moment to smoke, the problem would still be there. I was pretty new into my quit at this point and now he is a little better or maybe it's me that's better in dealing with him... Lol. Point is don't give up on what you want because of someone who doesn't get it. My DH never smoked either and they will never get it. I stopped asking for support and just walk away if I feel a confrontation is brewing. Hope things are worked out now for you. Please don't give in.. It's true what they say, it does get easier😘

  • BevJk my partner has also never been a smoker (the odd cigar) and just does not get why quitting is not as simple as just not smoking!!!

    You've done amazingly well and dealt with it in the best way possible.

    Every time you overcome a big trigger like that your brain has learned a new response to stress and in time your automatic reflex to stress will no longer be the urge to light up.

    Look upon this incident as a major triumph

    Lu xxxx

  • Thanks again guys.

    At least everyone on here knows how I feel, just been the most stressful day ever! I have been having trouble getting my champix as the people who I quit with keep cocking everything up! Been to doctors again this afternoon to get an emergency prescription as they only gave me enough tablets to last until tomorrow as the prescription they were supposed to send through to Drs never turned up! Then they had put the wrong amount on the letter they gave me! Honestly I think if I have got through today I can get through anything!! X

  • Nightmare! They're not making it any easier for you, but as you say, if you can get through this.....

  • Ohhh poor thing! Putter above made a few very wise comments. Me too, I had I very hard time with my partner at home, and still have. Not just at the beginning but every day of the quit even to this date.

    At some stage, I actually believed mine was deliberately pushing me to failure, mine is a smoker so it makes sense. The more I said I need peace and quiet, the more he followed me around with the nagging shouting yelling! You cannot just cry and smoke, you need to find it in you to calmly turn around and say I'm sorry. I can't have this today because my quit is more important.

    Xxx

  • He has been ok today, I left my Ecig in the conservatory and just used it a couple of times last night but I did make up with him and told him as Putter said that this is my quit and it's nothing to do with him how I do it! Hopefully as long as I don't use it too much in front of him he will be ok. X x

  • WOW how is that a failure im still using a ecig and im proud of it as it helped me stop smoking.and you are doing great quitting at the end of the day your doing this for yourself 😆good luck with your quit

  • Hi BevJk

    I afraid that people that have never smoked will never get how hard it is to stop.

    Ecigarettes to some people are looked at as smoking. There are support groups of ex smokers who will not support people quitting using an Ecig because they believe it is too much like smoking.

    You can't stop people having an opinion but you can believe and know yourself, that want you are doing is right.

    The Ecig is working for you and it is helping you to quit. You are then making the rest happen.

    Keep going and keep listen to you!

  • Hey BevJk, sorry I missed this post, hope things have settled down now and that the champix is sorted too.

    I was glad to read you made up with your partner as it is so difficult for someone who never smoked to understand the huge achievement it is to quit.

    Just an idea, the next time you are in with your quit counsellor, maybe pick up a quit smoking leaflet and leave it lying somewhere where he may pick it up and read it (make sure it has the difficulty of quitting on it).

    Keep up the great work Bev, you really are doing so well :)

  • Thanks RoisinO1

    I am fine now, don't think he will ever understand or even wants to understand, when I have quit before he thinks it's all ok after the first week and doesn't realise how much I am still struggling, for me it seems to get harder the longer I quit!

    I hope you are ok and didn't get too emotional on your last day! New chapter in your life about to start! X x

  • First Monday as a lady of leisure!!

    I have to admit, I was an absolute mess on Friday and really hit me like a ton of bricks but had a great weekend with the celebration of my little brothers 30th....

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