10 weeks

[nsd_user663_58050]

I'm posting this early as I'm out this evening; I'll be 10 weeks at 6:00pm. And, as of yesterday my general anxiety or desire to smoke that comes along from time to time throughout the day, I now see as being miniscule (I have it a little whilst writing this). Yesterday was a horror of a day as far as quitting goes for me. The strongest craving started from about 10:00am right through the day, with an extremely difficult time mid-afternoon. I'm still somewhat thrown by the experience. And it seems to have triggered my physical withdrawal (or psychophysical; they cannot possibly be actual physical withdrawal) symptoms again, which I still have now.

I don't know whether it was triggered by my having a really poor night's sleep the night before. It could be my reducing the champix (I have a weeks supply left and may take Celestine's suggestion, and get a further prescription). I just do not know. The good news is I didn't have any. I don't feel stronger as a result of my resolve, but simply as if I was hit with a sledgehammer. Really knocked me. Anyway..................onward.

[nsd_user663_58050]

A further thought on the above. I would say THE main reason I did not succumb is my commitment to this forum. Not that it would take me down a rocky road to full time smoking, not the effect on running, on my wallet, on my health. It was to here. Whether that is driven by potential shame or embarrassment, I don't know. But this forum is vital for people, to come on as often as they need. With me it's clearly to visit each day, not matter what at the moment. I'd be too slippery or wily with myself to go it alone yet.

[nsd_user663_63893]

Your post really resonates with me, the desire to smoke is so mysterious. I am at nearly 8 weeks and am relieved to hear you are having strong craves after so many weeks (not relieved for you by the way) because I am too. I split up with my partner a few months ago and sometimes find it hard to differentiate which feelings belong to what. I feeling a strong sense of wanting something most of the time, and can't tell whether it is loneliness and missing him or wanting to smoke. It's such a horrible feeling.

agreed that coming here helps - a lot.

Anyway, walkabout, impressed with your resolve! Hopefully before too long things will be easier xx

[nsd_user663_58050 in reply to nsd_user663_63893]

Just a comment on this, Hattie. Sorry to hear about your split. I agree how easy it is to mix up the feelings with the smoking desires. I suppose that is what many of us have done with smoking, associated it with particular states of mind, feelings, be they happy, sad, really p*ss%d off. And I reckon we all adapt to our new non-smoking state at different speeds. So, I'm okay with my strong craves still happening...............well, I'd rather they didn't!! But, you know what I mean :0)

[Incy_Wincy]

Walkabout, well done on getting through that horrible day - and TEN WEEKS!

Coming here helps keep me honest, too, I can totally relate to that one I'm so glad I made my signature 'no cheating'. I'd feel like a proper idiot if I broke that one now, whereas all my previous quits contained almost PLANNED cheats, eg after three days I'll pop to Annie's house and scrounge just one, then do three more days' etc etc. Never worked, obviously. But coming here did. So yay for all of us keeping each other on the straight and narrow.

Walkabout, I no nothing about Champix, but I'm pretty sure if it was me, and I knew I was coming to the end of my supply, I'm pretty sure I'd be having doubts about whether I could manage without it, which would make me panic, which would lead to craving...maybe it is a good idea to just have a chat with your GP/smoking cessation dude/whoever gave it to you! But I bet you CAN do without it. Big strong MAN like you Keep saying Nope my friend. x

[nsd_user663_63741]

These silly craves that come from nowhere, I am not certain they really are craves after all these weeks but more a feeling of missing something. When I moved to Spain almost 15 years ago, I was excited about our new life but also very sad and homesick especially missing my grandkids, I feel a bit the same way now, excited to have freedom from smoking but also sad as if I've said goodbye to an old friend. The sad feelings I had when we moved here soon passed and I love my life here so I believe i will soon stop missing smoking too. I have planned on ditching the ecig at 3 months, but as that time is now looming fast, I too feel a little scared of not having my backup, but I still plan on binning it as I do not want to vape forever so once again we are facing another challenge but I am sure we can do it.

[nsd_user663_63998]

Hey buddy – Sorry you had a crap day, and I'm hoping you feeling better.

Life certainly does have a way of throwing those stupid curve balls from left field. You can't see them coming and they leave you going WTH just happened??!!

Maybe you'll figure out what your trigger was and maybe not – but what's important is how you handle it and you Mr., nailed it !!

oh btw - 10 weeks ain't bad either

[AnnMarie74]

Hi walkabout

Hope you are feeling ok this weekend. 10 weeks already. In some ways it feels we've all known each other a while now but in others it's amazing that we have been smoke free so many weeks. The crap bits are tough I still seem to get hit hard too when it happens but on the whole I can't stop feeling great about doing it. I'm really hoping you made a decision/ saw a gp about the champix and are keeping on keeping on x

[nsd_user663_58050]

Thanks everyone for the posts of support. In part I can understand it as a void, a mourning and it is still there frequently. Last Thursday seemed different because of the intensity of it I guess. Since then I've been generally fine, my thoughts/desires manageable. I like Karri's suggestion of the novelty wearing off; that has crossed my mind from time to time. When I first came on here with this quit the chappie called Capitan had a very, very upbeat 'can-do' will-do' 'am-doing' outlook. I don't think I'm doing that enough yet, and certainly not in a matter of fact way. When I'm consistently doing that, I'll be there.

I'm off for a run now. I have two months to a 10k :eek: And, nearly half way through the eleventh week. Breaking this down into intervals when times are tough does help.

[nsd_user663_58050]

I had actually forgotten just now how many weeks I have quit. That's either a good sign, or a very bad sign as it means my fears of early dementia are coming to fruition.

I'm in my eleventh week. Phew!

[nsd_user663_63114]

Ha ha, 11 weeks and not counting, fantastic! Yes, the desire to have a cigarette often rears it's head, especially if I'm under stress, and maybe it will always be there, I don't know. All I will say is there were crappy days when I was smoking, in fact, a lot of crappy days. My desire to have a fag is there during those moments, but nowhere near as intense as 10 weeks and not even on the same scale as the first week.

It gets better and easier.

I promise x

[nsd_user663_58050]

I reckon you're right, Caroline. It will rear its head, maybe we will be one of those that always has this, or maybe not. I have a feeling I'm in the first camp. The more time passes, it's still around. And that is okay, but I am on my guard. And again, crappy days. Crappy days when we smoked, crappy days when we don't. We will get crappy days. And yes, again, nothing like the early days, or for me mid-days as early was okay (champix), but I'm doing well.

[nsd_user663_63964]

Yes, these 'strange' feelings. I believe it's our brain trying to make sense of these feelings and not having 100% mastered it quite yet.

It is very possible that the stress of finishing the course of champix triggered these 'strange' feelings? (possibly without noticing it, similar to not noticing our withdrawal after the last ciggie?), I don't know.

As suggested, might be worth a visit to your GP? I have an extra 2 months - it's possible I will or will not take them BUT I have given myself the CHOICE (this minimises the pressure if we believe pressure/stress = smoking :))

A run sounds just the job