I have been fine today. Work was incredibly busy and I didn't have time to pop on here at lunch time, which was okay. I've been dealing with the little hurdles well - those points during my smoking day when I would, errr, smoke and haven't! Went straight to a school meeting from work, fine, then home, had dinner, fine. Then I called my mother who since my father's death three months ago is alone in a small isolated village, two buses a week, cannot drive, no shops etc. And she is doing okay, considering. However, I had a whammy moment, a strong desire to smoke, and it is very easy for me to get cigarettes. The urge was very strong, so I've focused on breathing, saying NOPE to myself, and came on here, posted a couple of responses to messages, and am now much more relaxed and the moment has passed.
Just goes to show how I have used smoking at times to deal with difficult emotions. I do feel raw at times regarding my father; and I would like to be closer to my parent's home to support my mother. But...............I also recognise that I have come through these couple of hours. I have found ways to deal with the crave. I am going to have a glass of wine now to toast myself and go to bed. Enough for today!