Sorry I've not posted for ages, hope everyone's well, I'm in a situation here which I find odd, just wanted to air it really....
My mother-in-law is staying with us for a short while, she's just had an operation to remove a small part of her bowel due to cancer. So far she's doing OK, she's no spring chicken but she's healing well.
While she was in hospital she was diagnosed with COPD. She was in for seven days, spent most of that coughing, hacking, bringing up the most unimaginable cr*p.
She's a 20 a day smoker of fifty years.
Within a minute of getting outside, hobbling painfully after major surgery, after a week off the cigarettes and various discussions with the hospital staff about her health, she blazed up.
Now she's home with us, she's out the back door every hour, puffing away, justifying painfully ambling to the door as "exercise" and "getting some air". And the soundtrack to the house is hack cough hack snort, spit, the usual, at huge decibel levels, at all hours, which she's now putting down to having a cold coming.
My Dad suffers with his chest, smokes like the proverbial chimney, and my Mum keeps on at him to stop. I always said "it's not easy, I sympathise etc etc" but this last ten days, having seen someone go through cancer surgery, and seen COPD close-up, not to mention the weeks of fear and reassurance before since the diagnosis of the bowel cancer, it occurred to me last night.
I don't understand anymore, even as a former smoker (Christmas Eve marked 2.5 years quit after 22 years of smoking). I don't get it, I don't blo*dy sympathise. I realise that's odd, weird, mean, hypocritical, whatever, but I really don't understand. My health was suffering, I was scared for my own future, so I did something about it. I was nowhere near as sick as she is, and you don't get much worse than cancer and COPD in a week surely???
Is this because I've been exposed close-up to this horrible stuff, or have I simply been quit too long that I've forgotten what it was like?