I don't know why I did that

Hello Guys

Hope you are all doing really well and are healthy and happy.

I am currently dealing with a great many mega stressed out situations - which I am coping with. However today, when I went to Tescos for some reason I walked straight up to the smoke counter, asked for 10 Marlborough Lights and a lighter. They had run out of 10s so got a packet of 20!! It was only on the way home I thought why on earth did I do that? Out of all that is happening to me at the moment my quit has been something to hold on to. So now I have a new pack of 20 and a lighter and in some ways I don't want to bin them cos it costs so much and think maybe I should give them to a smoking friend (but doesn't seem right), but the bin is really where they belong. I have no huge desire to have one at the moment which is really good despite them being here. I think i bought them subconsiously cos I am feeling so stressed inside.

Take Care All


26 Replies

  • poppy you have come so far! dont give up now, my advice to you is to put the fags in the bin where they belong, with something discusting on top so you cant fish them back out again during a weak moment. hehehe.

    you can do it poppy! :D

  • Thanks Charlene - words of good advice cos it would be yucky putting nasty stuff on top of the packhttp://ziza.ru/data/emoticons/wacko.gif

    I really don't feel the need to have a smoke - it is just bemusing why I got them in the first place.

    Big Hugs Charlene and Thanks


  • sounds like a stress reaction, im the same, it used to be having a crisis?, have a fag.

    hard way of thinking to break out of i know, but we can do it! :D

  • BIN BIN BIN BIN BIN BIN BIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Quick quick quick quick quick!!!!!

    You've been really strong not to smoke so far, so stop tempting fate and put them in the bin outside and put bleach on top!!!

    Don't give them to a friend because then you're just reinforcing someone elses bad habit.

    You can do it!!!

    Lighter in bin too!!!

  • well said chocobunny - Poppy - BIN BIN BIN BIN BIN BIN repeat a million times.

    Dont even think about saving them for smoking friend - why would you encourage a friend to smoke by giving them fags. Do you want to encourage them to die?


    Big Hugs x

  • C'mon Poppy, you're not going to smoke them, I just know that ;) You're strong and smart and you've already proven yourself you do not need to smoke, you'd only feel worse and your problems would grow bigger instead of smaller, and you certainly don't deserve that now do you? We've learned by now that smokes do not really provide any help whatsoever, and trust me your lungs would hate you SO badly if you lit even just one ciggie up. You have such a generous heart Poppy, treat it well don't choke it with smoke hun, please just don't.

    *hugs tight and doesn't let go*

  • Hi Guys

    Thank you so much for all your support cos I really need it right now as in a bad place. I got very stressed tonight and had a couple of puffs of one - put it out - but it was disgusting. Put the rest under the tap and threw them and the lighter away. i know some would say I should go back to day one for having a couple of puffs but I can't do that as it would totally discourage me and make me feel worse. I feel I have done really well to get as far as I have and need to keep reminding myself of the amounts of days I have been smoke free.

    So thank you all very much for the support - you're all really special people.

    Big Hugs to you all


  • Aw Poppy you certainly do NOT have to go back to Day 1 :eek: Are you kidding hun, a blip is a just a blip, no big deal. Don't be hard on yourself, be proud instead that you only had a couple insignificant puffs and that you're still a non-smoker even after - or in - a stressful situation. I'm so glad you threw them away, I hope the problems that caused you to feel so bad will work out soon and you manage to have a good sleep tonight.


  • You shouldn't go back to day one.

    You said yourself, you had a few puffs, disgusting, threw them in the bin.

    Some people who blip actually enjoy the cigs, which must make it so much harder to pick up, brush off and carry on.

    My cousin stopped smoking years ago, but in the beginning on every night out we had she would beg me for a puff on my cig, but when she did, her face would screw up and she'd hand it right back, she soon stopped asking.

    The cig didn't make you feel better and didn't solve your probs. U said yourself, the quit is one positive thing to keep you going at the moment.

    Chin up Poppy, stay strong :) :)

  • Thanks so much Francessca

    Sending you a hug cos I need one toohttp://img118.exs.cx/img118/1691/hug8ok.gif

    It has helped enormously. Just gutted I spent £6.50 on smokes and a lighter that went under a tap. Well hopefully if I ever get in the que again I will wake up and think What Am I Doing Here?????

    Big Hugs and Thanks


  • you see? you're way smarter than that evil nic demon whose mission is to catch us off guard and destroy our motivation! I'm sure come tomorrow you'll feel stronger than you did yesterday, because you've managed to take control over the urge to go back to smoking even if life is treating you hard at the moment. Make sure to be very, very proud of yourself :) This thing that happened today was a very hard lesson and you managed to deal with it quite well! Cheer up Poppy dear


  • OH NOOO MY POPS!!! I am soooo very sorry I was not here when you needed someone! :mad: :(

    I am very upset at myself because you are always here for me......UGH!!

    You are back on your horse now and doing great. Stay strong hun and keep your chin up. A whoops is a whoops...cheer up and don't let yourself get down. Show that Nic Demon whose boss :D Keep truckin' right where you are...you don't need to go back to day 1 - you belong here with me :)

    Love me XOXOX

  • Hello NS4M

    Thanks so much babes it means a great deal to know you are there. I am going to get ready in a minute for the wisdom tooth op!! Am I scared - you bet I am!!

    Hopes you have a lovely day and will check in later to see how you are.

    Bigg Huggys for my Buddy


  • Hiya poppy


    THINK ABOUT ALL THE DAYS YOU'VE STAYED STRONG! and the couple of puffs yesterday (that you didn't even enjoy anyaway:) ) didn't mean anything! it should just prove to you that not smoking is the better option all round! for your health and your bank balance!!!

    if you ever end up at the ciggie counter again....just close your eyes and imagine yourself throwing the £6.50 in the bin or down a drain!

    now you would'nt want to do that every day would you?

    HEY just thought:eek: what about a stress doll! you could buy one of those and when you're stressed, just pull it's arms n legs off and it will make you feel better!!( A CIGGIE SHAPED ONE WOULD BE GOOD! WITH ARMS AND LEGS TO PULL OFF!!) it would be like defeating your own demon.but you can pull him to pieces:D

    mmmmmmmmmmm, i wonder if anyones thought of making a stress doll in the shape of a ciggie??(hahaha i can see myself now....with my prototype....on dragons den:D )

    oooooooh sorry about that, just getting abit carried away!!!


    bye for now...love poskit..x

  • Morning Poskit

    Just noticed One whole month for you 2moro Well done.

    Congrats for one month 2moro

    Linda xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Thanks Linda

    4 weeks seem to have flown by and I can't beleive that my life has changed so much in that time and all because I quit!!!

    Hope all is well with you and yours - I know this must still be a worrying time for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

    Big Hugs Linda and thanks ever so much for your support.


  • Morning Poskit

    Just noticed One whole month for you 2moro Well done.

    Congrats for one month 2moro

    Linda xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


    Heya Linda hope all is well in the spicer household x x

  • To My Pops

    I hear you had your tooth op today!!! How are you feeling hun? I hope you are well and not in too much pain! Lemme know! :D

  • Dear NS4M

    Hope this finds you well lovely and that your step son is beginning to make a recovery now. You have coped so so well - keep going hun cos each day that passes shows how strong you are.

    Yes had my wisdom tooth out yesterday. My dentist is so amazing he managed to get all the broken tooth out without having to cut my gum or anything and he did it so quickly. It is quite painful but just taking painkillers which helps.

    Taking Matthew to the docs soon as he has to take permenant meds to have to take him for check up and get new perscription.

    Hope you have a peaceful day lovey and that all is settling at your end.

    Hugs to you NS4M


  • Hi Pops,

    I am soooo glad that you are not hurting to bad. That is great that the doc didn't have to cut you....super. Poor Matthew. It is very upsetting when children need meds for a short time or for a lifetime. How old is Matthew again and you also have a daughter too right? How old is she? How is Matthew and daughter doing today? I hope you are well with those teeth today. Rinse your mouth with saltwater and spit it out...that helps heal quickly.

    Stepson is doing okay, the best he could do with mono. His temp is still around 100-102, but he is staying in good spirits and that makes a difference. I am off to do some laundry, but i will check back soon. :)

  • Dear NS4M

    Hi lovely how are you? Glad to hear that things are settling down a bit with your stepson now - and the fact that he is in good spirits is always a good thing. Hope your stress is feeling less now and the awful feelings of needing a smoke a receeding.

    Matthew is 7 and a half - with 5 mental disabilities and 3 physical. He has to take permenant meds for his bowel disorder (to make it work) and painkillers every day for the pain in his legs as he has a muscle weakness conidition as well as joint and ligament disorder, and feet problems - so has pedro boots/splints. Matthew will have to take meds for the rest of his life. Jessi is 9 (just) with 5 mental disabilities and 2 physical. We have been told their complexity is rare particulalry because they have such high intelligence - Jessi is in the top 5% apparently - Matthew above average. They are both amazing and lovely children but exceptionally challenging!!

    I long for the day when I wont want a cigerette because at times it feels like the longing will never go away. It is just the thought of having to do the last 28 days again that stops me cos I don't want to go through this ever ever again.

    Thank you for caring.

    Loads of Hugs buddy


  • My Pops,

    Poor children :( Why do children (the innocent) have to deal with such life altering issues. With a Mommy like you, they must know just how special they are and know how much they are loved each and everyday. You are a very powerful and brave woman that's forsure.

    You are doing such a wonderful job being a non-smoker and having such a huge responsibility on your hands. Your days must be filled with worry and stress. You are amazing...I don't think I could handle what you handle in a day. You come onto the forum and you cheer everyone on and make sure everyone is doing ok, and yet you have your plate full enough already and we should be cheering you on and giving you words of encouragement....

    You leave me in awe...I am extremely proud of you. Keep it up! Kiss your children for me because they are amazing too!

  • Dear NS4M

    Caring for the children and doing what I have to do to get them sorted out is just something you do as a parent. Having disabled children changes your life enormously cos we appreciate very little things like when Matthew is able to feel he can hold a hand as he has such severe sensory issues he cannot stand touch; or when Jessi feels able to say she loves me - cos again they find emotions hard etc. Our expecations are not drawn up for the children as we have to live one day at a time and not look ahead cos it would be just too scary and overwhelming. They are very funny children cos they say what they think as no understanding of social rules. So Jessi wont think anything of asking people if they are women or men cos they look the other way.... and Matthew will tell old people they are too wrinkly etc.

    Thank you for your kind words lovely - it was very kind of you.

    Big Up For My Buddy


  • My Poppy Lady,

    Makes me see that I take life for granted. I miss out on the small things because I am too spoiled to know the difference. The things you are going through make quitting smoking seem sooooo small and easy in comparison. With your daily life being where it is at right now...you deal with bigger issues each day and probably because it is in your routine you don't even notice that what you do is not simple and not many people could do it alone.

    Love you sunshine! :)

  • My heart goes out to all x x

    Life experiences are what we all have to deal with, some more than others but that can never take the pain away.

    The things that happen to me is equivalent to another's.

    If a friend has a bad time over losing a goldfish because that is the worst thing ever to happen to them, I will take them in my arms and comfort them and never compare.

    Every one has a right to their pain.

  • Totally agree Buffy.


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