Magpie Moodle

Day three. 0700. Office opened up. Routine is to stand at back door with coffee and fag. Stand at back door with coffee and no fag and watch the sky instead. Fog is lifting. City waking early with noisy police sirens going off already. Sky glowing a bit to the east so promise of a brighter day to come. Have conversation with lone magpie sitting in the tree next to the fire station and look at the silhouette of the branches against the brightening sky. Go in and cut up a grapefruit for breakfast. That's nice. I thought my taste buds got shot off in the last war but they do seem to be working again after all. That's nice.

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  • Go into loo, have pee, brush hair. The person looking back looks a bit fiercer than usual. Is that me? A non-smoking me? Hard to believe.

    I hope I won't be fierce with people in the office...

  • Tx tractorgirl & Karri :)

    I'm deploying self-indulgent wittering tactics. I think some of my smoking is a kind of self punishment brought on by low self steam issues. *toot toot*

    Something someone else said somewhere reminded my how important it is to feel good about yourself and I realise I don't do that enough...at least not enough to take good care of myself. So I am going to witter self indulgently and try NOT to feel bad about it.

  • Sitting in gp surgery. The musak sais 'they built this city on rock and roll' which is bollox. Waiting for injection into shoulder for severe tendonitis. ****itt! This isn't going to help.

  • Thanks for the encouragement Kat73. Back now. Surprisingly little pain given the injection was right into the joint. I was expecting more. Anyway, yes, I hope it helps the condition...it doesn't work for everyone...but as I am a musician (not pro) but a regular performer, it is really important for me not to lose any more movement in that joint.

    I probably still suffer from the delusion that having a fag actually gives me something apart from, as you say, just temporarily relieving the discomfort from not having smoked one for a while. It would be nice to get to a point where I don't think that.

  • The musak in the shopping preesinkt was Nina Simone singing 'I Got Life'. I was listening out for the line 'Aint Got No Fags' but it never came. Now, I love Nina Simone....I just hate musak every...******...where...you...go. Shops, pubs, restaurants, hotels, surgeries, hospitals. I hate it. So unneccessary, so intrusive. Gah.

    Someone's tied a lonly bunch of flowers to the railings near where a woman cyclist was hit by a bus the other day. She didn't make it, sadly: that made the song all the more poingnant.

  • hahaha Clod, love your posts, wittering is brilliant, waffling not so good, you dont waffle though, you witter which is all good, I am waffling now, you see? I am using 30 words when 3 will do, I dont normally though :D :D

  • hahaha Clod, love your posts, wittering is brilliant, waffling not so good, you dont waffle though, you witter which is all good, I am waffling now, you see? I am using 30 words when 3 will do, I dont normally though :D :D

    *waves from wittering heights over to waffling heights* :cool:

  • *waves from wittering heights over to waffling heights* :cool:

    ***waves back*** :):)

  • I was wondering about these e ciggy things. I'm using patches and niquitin mints atm. The prob I see with them is, (for me), that it seems too much like real smoking thus reinforcing the habit of sticking something in yer gob and inhaling something into yer lungs. And a lot of that is just sheer habit - the thing I need to change. I can roll a fag and smoke it entirely on auto pilot before I even know I'm doing it. But hey, whatever works...I don't wanna knock it if it works for someone.

  • I love hearing music everywhere. Songs to me are like photo albums to others. I hear a song and memories flood back :)

    I guess music is a big part of most folks lives. The way it takes us is very personal to each one, I think. For me, being so involved in playing it, I find I want to pay attention to what I'm hearing, so it's use as background musak bugs me more than it probably should. A bit like sensory overload, especially in a situation where I'm also trying to listen to what someone is saying, say in a restaurant etc. Some situations I find much worse than others though. On balance I prefer not to have it, except when doing something fairly mundane like ironing or washing up, or something like that. Don't mind it then: but I get to choose what it is, which helps.

  • Hi Clod,

    Sounds like you're going great guns despite the tendonitis and lone magpie. Well done to you! :D

    Re the e-cig: I've not tried one but there have certainly been some forum members who have sworn by them (and successfully quit using them). Personally, I'm with you- I would have found the hand to mouth action too difficult to break. I found the 1.5mg lozenges very helpful as a boost to the patches but it really is each to his own.

    Anyway, onwards and upwards and a big thumbs up from me on hanging on in there. :)

  • Hi Clod,

    Sounds like you're going great guns despite the tendonitis and lone magpie. Well done to you! :D

    Re the e-cig: I've not tried one but there have certainly been some forum members who have sworn by them (and successfully quit using them). Personally, I'm with you- I would have found the hand to mouth action too difficult to break. I found the 1.5mg lozenges very helpful as a boost to the patches but it really is each to his own.

    Anyway, onwards and upwards and a big thumbs up from me on hanging on in there. :)

    Thanks Skiddaw. Won't pretend day 3 doesn't suck. Finished work and back home now. Usual habit is cup of tea and fag in the back garden. A real trigger point this. Just have to ride it out.

  • Yes, it's just plain horrible when you hit those trigger points and the first few days seems to be nothing but trigger points. Let's face it, there's nothing I can say to get around the fact that the first days of a quit are a bitch. :(

    Just keep telling yourself that every trigger you face down is a trigger point you won't have to face down in the same way ever again, and every minute that passes is a minute you will never have to go through again. And that craves last on average between 3-5 minutes so if you can get past the next 3-5 minutes there goes another crave you've beaten off and strangled. :D

    I'm rooting for you Clod, as is everyone else on the forum. Well done mate- you're doing mightily. :)

  • Right into the joint you say? EEEEEEEeeeh gads! :eek:

    I think you're doing really well. On day three I didn't notice anything. Not magpies, not fire-stations, not even dead cyclists. I slept mostly......in a chair.....head dangling like someone had just clubbed me. I only woke up now and then to eat 3 packets or so of digestives. Yes. You're doing really well.

  • Jeepers! That was a hard day to get through. Nearly there though. :) Band rehearsal in the evening, which I didn't want to cancel, either because of the injection or because it's yet another trigger point for me. Not that anyone smokes during it...just because it was my habit to smoke after it. Got through that too. Being tired doesn't help at all, so I hope to take it easy over the weekend and not do a whole lot except look after the chikkins and maybe sow up some tomato seeds for the greenhouse.

    Thank you for the support everyone. Your words of encouragement are really helping me tough this bit out. Hope you are all doing well too and have a good weekend. Stay strong. :)

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