Under attack again : (

Hi everyone its been a long time no post.Have been trundling along quite nicely(other than being a stone! overweight from a period of crunching loads of sweets) I found I was going whole days with no thoughts of fags just the odd fleeting whisper of an evening. It was all handleable until I reached the dreaded 3 month stage -the 3 day,3week, scenario one where for some people it becomes a trial time. The smoking dreams started again.I had them for 5nights running but this time instead of being horrified in the dreams for smoking I just smoked my head off and didnt wake up feeling grateful it was a dream.Now I am being plagued by a constant nagging whisper of "just one" I have done 100 smokefree days and went through hell in the begining and dont want to go through that again and dont want to undo my achievement BUT I feel like I will crumble at the next really stressful situation.I am trying to stay strong but wasnt expecting the strength and angles this attack out of the blue is taking.Im thinking I would rather be going through what Im going through and have worry free lungs than as before when I was smoking but got pains in my chest and worried constantly about it.I also keep repeating Alex's advice of "I can smoke whenever I want to but I dont want to smoke today" It helps.I truly think that there is an evil entity attached to smoking and the b.....d has come back to plague me. I am in need of advice,and different ways I can quell this monster as am starting to feel overwhelmed and despondant.Cheers x

17 Replies

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  • Dear me!!

    Oh SooSan

    It's so hard when this happens, BUT "this too will pass.

    When it gets so bad ( which is not too often although it does occur, and I know how you feel ) I have a variety of techniques available. Some good, some not so good!

    The one that helps the quickest and always works is I overeat - usually chocolate or caramel ice cream. I can always lose weight later.

    The healthy one - I exercise and after a short time lag I start to feel better as the endorphins kick in.

    Drinking lots of water is another way that I can curb the cravings or eating lots of fruit.

    Hope by the time you read this the urges have passed since they always do go away:)

  • Sending you hugs and strength :) You've done beautifully thus far. Bliddy well done. Are you proud about where you're at in terms of your health? Are you proud of the length of time you've been a non-smoker? Are you proud and excited over how, every day for the past one hundred days you've chosen not to smoke?

    You bliddy should be ;):p I'm on day two and read your post and think wow, bliddy well done Soosan, way to go. I too want to be posting that I'm up to the 100 day mark one day. My hat goes off to you. That sort of success must take some effort. You're an inspiration. Please remember that :D

    I'm quoting here (name escapes me at the moment) ...

    Only look back to see how far you've come

  • Oh Soosan, I'm sorry you're feeling like this chuck, I really am.

    I'm with Nicci, be proud of yourself! Every time it hits you make yourself think about how far you've come, that you ARE FREE and you ARE going to stay that way.

    This is your quit, and you're way too strong (goes without saying having got to 100 days) to give up on it now.

    Stand firm, stay strong and post everyday on here til this passes

    I'll be thinking of you

    Molly x

  • I feel for you Soo.

    I think there comes a point in a lot of people's quit when the initial thrill of success has worn off, and the subconscious makes a real effort to try to get the conscious to stop all this self denial business and satisfy the habit again.

    'What, you mean this wasn't an experiment?' it says. 'You're telling me this is IT? But smoking is what I know! Look... you've done 100 days. That's amazing. That proves you're super good and everything, so you DESERVE a fag now. Obviously you can EASILY stop again whenever you want to. And in the grand scheme of things, one fag won't kill you will it? Aren't you curious what it would taste like? Come on... just one... deep down you didn't really mean to quit *forever*, did you? We both know forever's not an option, so you might as well have one now, it would be so much less stressful than feeling like this'...

    And so on, and so on. It's SO BLOODY PERSUASIVE. It takes some serious strength to resist. But resist you must. Now is the time to revisit your reasons. Now is the time to think - really think - what you'd be throwing away if you caved in. And more to the point, what kind of future you might be signing up to if you caved in.

    Go back to taking this one day at a time. Keep making that conscious choice. Because I absolutely categorically promise you that this is just another stage of the process, and it WILL pass, and you will not feel like this forever. It will not always take this immense effort to resist smoking - it will become second nature to flick away those irritating thoughts.

    Keep going, and you will come out the other side of this with an increased sense of pride and self worth, not to mention clean lungs.

    Take care,

    H

  • Ahhh

    WELL DONE Soosan

    you have achieved soo much and doing so well

    100 days is a wicked milestone re read your reasons and your early posts and they wilbe back the memories of how you was feeling back then :eek:

    just remember your subconcious will try every devious trick in the book to try and tempt you back to smoking to having just one

    stand tall

    be proud and keep saying

    i choose not to smoke today every morning when you first wake up

    :D

    onwards and upwards is the only way to go

    soo keep going on this path you have choosen the freedom path the ive got the control of my life path and im keeping it

    hugs

    Carol

  • Hey Soo I can't add a lot more other than to tell you it does pass but I can relate to it too; I'm approaching six months and have had the odd whisper that makes me wonder what it would be like to have one after all this time in the same way that I wonder what jumping off a cliff would be like when I stand near a cliff-top (is it just ME that does that??). I know it's not a rational thought so it gets pushed to one side.

    100 days is great going and you know how it's changed things for you; keep enjoying the freedom :)

  • kitted up again! Thank you

    Thank you all SO MUCH! Reading all your posts bought tears to my eyes and I could also feel my resolve strengthening by the second.There is nothing like this forum! In the 'real' world friends and family say oh well done etc with not smoking but it is the people on this forum who hold your hand,feel with you and hug you in your lowest,darkest moments that really count.Its like when I posted I was sitting in a wooden shed and I could hear a large creature scuttling and crawling over the boards outside.It had long claws and had just started lifting up a board when all you guys piled in and boarded up the damage.Thanks! Its weird but that creature is also in a bottle that is in the shed with me. Its like I spent the first 4 to 6 weeks of my quit wrestling with it trying to get it in the bottle which I eventually did and stuck a cork in.Over the last 6weeks or so the creature has changed into a little forlorn fluffy thing begging to be let out.ie.Just one fag it wont hurt.I know if I open that bottle it will transform and I would be grabbed round the throat by its long clawed hand and rammed up against the wall.I think that the huge creature outside could be after the bottle so I will have to wait until it makes a hole in the boards again and then I can shove it out. Meanwhile I will NOT open the bottle! Once again thank you everybody for being there.Much Love.Sue xxx

  • Soosan, I'm worried about hitting the kind of territory you are in, so it is a great help to me to hear you post about it. Forewarned is forearmed. I know that doesn't help you, but thanks all the same! :)

  • Hey Soo I can't add a lot more other than to tell you it does pass but I can relate to it too; I'm approaching six months and have had the odd whisper that makes me wonder what it would be like to have one after all this time in the same way that I wonder what jumping off a cliff would be like when I stand near a cliff-top (is it just ME that does that??). I know it's not a rational thought so it gets pushed to one side.

    100 days is great going and you know how it's changed things for you; keep enjoying the freedom :)

    This is a great ****ogy AB, I'm the same. Someone once told me that the reason that people are afraid of heights is that they are frightened that they might throw themselves off, out of curiosity! It kind of makes sense. :(:)

  • Soosan, I'm worried about hitting the kind of territory you are in, so it is a great help to me to hear you post about it. Forewarned is forearmed. I know that doesn't help you, but thanks all the same! :)

    Aw Biggrin I really dont want to frighten you.Sorry. You are right forewarned is to be forearmed.In the beginning I was under the impression and led to believe by different articles that it was hard at first when giving up and that it got better after a few weeks.It didnt go like that for me and I noticed from lots of posts that a lot of quitters were experiencing 'blips', and bad patches ALL AROUND THE SAME TIME SCALE INTO THEIR QUITS. (Around day9,day 21,and days 84 to 98 ) I can only presume that it has something to do with a physical cycle/cleaning out process.I had already been forewarned about this possible attack,so I wasnt taken by surprise.What kept me going at the start of my quit-when everybody appeared to be sailing and I was struggling-was the fact that it takes 6 to 8 weeks for the Nicotine receptors to go back to normal after stopping Nicotine.So I set that as my target and said if I still felt bad Id smoke again.Of course I felt great! It does all pass Ive just had a very bumpy ride.Ive just worked it out- I smoked for twice as long as you but you have had twice as many fags.Maybe the monster is the habit monster? I hope my posts continue to help you.All the best Love x

  • I feel for you Soo.

    I think there comes a point in a lot of people's quit when the initial thrill of success has worn off, and the subconscious makes a real effort to try to get the conscious to stop all this self denial business and satisfy the habit again.

    'What, you mean this wasn't an experiment?' it says. 'You're telling me this is IT? But smoking is what I know! Look... you've done 100 days. That's amazing. That proves you're super good and everything, so you DESERVE a fag now. Obviously you can EASILY stop again whenever you want to. And in the grand scheme of things, one fag won't kill you will it? Aren't you curious what it would taste like? Come on... just one... deep down you didn't really mean to quit *forever*, did you? We both know forever's not an option, so you might as well have one now, it would be so much less stressful than feeling like this'...

    And so on, and so on. It's SO BLOODY PERSUASIVE. It takes some serious strength to resist. But resist you must. Now is the time to revisit your reasons. Now is the time to think - really think - what you'd be throwing away if you caved in. And more to the point, what kind of future you might be signing up to if you caved in.

    Go back to taking this one day at a time. Keep making that conscious choice. Because I absolutely categorically promise you that this is just another stage of the process, and it WILL pass, and you will not feel like this forever. It will not always take this immense effort to resist smoking - it will become second nature to flick away those irritating thoughts.

    Keep going, and you will come out the other side of this with an increased sense of pride and self worth, not to mention clean lungs.

    Take care,

    H

    Once again a fantastic post from Helsbelles. I can completely identify with it. I have been struggling for a couple of weeks with the thought that, if I did it once I can do it again. Fortunately I read many posts from people around the 6 month point all saying much the same thing. I seem to remember the same thoughts popping up a couple of months ago. This time they seem stronger but I will resist.

    Keep on quitting Soosan

  • I'm nearly into my 8 months and bin having smoking dreams.. Had one last night just me I. A room puffing away.. It felt sooooo good in my dream. I have also bin craving for about a week too.. Like my mouth is missing something? We will get over it..

    You did in week 3 month 3 so you will get er it

  • Soo

    Sorry to read that you've been having a hard time, it must be something in the air. I can relate to how you're feeling. I'm in month four and have been relatively OK, but recently feeling lost and overwhelmed too.

    However, you received some cracking response and advice, so I'll take that on board too!

    Hope you're feeling more positive now Soo.

    Fi x

  • Hi soosan, I know I'm late to this but wanted to show my support and to say 'hang in there'. I really like the description of the creature in the shed and will definitely use that technique to manage my craves by also visualising myself blasting that creature into kingdom come with my pals from the forum - it'll not beat us!!

    You're doing brill so just keep going, xo

  • Dearest Soosan.

    Thank you SOOOOOO much for posting what you did,even though it is a word for word quotation from my diary.

    I've been feeling PRECISELY this way. Even down to the dreams. I'm at 103 days now, and also heard of 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, and praying that that is all this is.... meaning that in about 17 days this is going to be gone.

    So, my friend, all we need to do until this passes is..... hold hands and decide to Not Smoke Today.

    Your posting is definitely inspiring. I don't feel so alone or like an alien for feeling this way when everyone around me is saying "Oh but your over it then!".

    Btw are you also experiencing the totally weird payoff of a supremely soft and beautiful skin? Lol I can't stop touching my arms, or my face.....

    Keep going girl.

    Lol if not for yourself, then for me!

    Love

    Shanita

  • Soo

    Sorry to read that you've been having a hard time, it must be something in the air. I can relate to how you're feeling. I'm in month four and have been relatively OK, but recently feeling lost and overwhelmed too.

    However, you received some cracking response and advice, so I'll take that on board too!

    Hope you're feeling more positive now Soo.

    Fi x

    Hi Nutmeg. No wonder we are going through similar feelings as your quit date is the day before mine! It all proves to my mind that withdrawal/crave quit experiences are of a biological cyclical nature and we just have to go with them.I have now read that at 6 months these bouts lessen.I suppose we cannot smoke for years and years and expect to be over it in 16 wks! You are so right the posts are an incredible boost/help/support.As long as my original post helps someone then I am more than happy.Sue x

  • I loved your posts cupcake girl and Shanita and am so glad you liked and understood my posts and that they helped you.Heres to us all soldiering on,throwing the creature off the shed roof and revelling in our soft skin! All the best.Love x

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