Heaven's gained an angel!!

Lung cancer got the better of my mammy, she passed away on Monday 3rd June so my previous motivation was short lived :(

Me going back to smoking hasn't changed anything but at the time it was the first thing I wanted, how after watching mum struggle for her breathe I don't know :mad:

I kept smoking over the next week we'll almost 2 now using the excuse today's not the day but that's just a pathetic excuse!

I went to visit my aunt today who was very close to my mum, she's also a smoker. Her first words were are you still smoking to which I replied yes, her next words were remember what your mammy told you. When mum was ill she asked me to stop smoking so I didn't end up like her. I found it really strange my aunt said this to me as normally she'd be the kind of person to say "have a wee smoke, it will help you" therefore I'm seeing this as a kick up the a** from my mammy telling me to catch myself on!

I am now setting Monday 17th June as my quit day, I can't keep using my feelings as an excuse as cancer doesn't hold out any cigarette could start the trigger and the whole it won't happen to me is rubbish!

I have to do this for my son, myself and my mammy and daddy. I'm 28 years old with both parents passed away, I really don't want my son to feel the loneness I'm feeling.

Please Mammy help me make this quit be the one!!

21 Replies

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  • Deepest sympathy to you and yours, it sucks big time losing someone close to you.

    I'm sure your mum will be there with you keeping an eye, being proud of you and giving you strength, no pressure but don't disappoint her. OK?

  • Thanks NicfIrth, your right, have to make mum proud :)

  • My deepest condolences. I hope you are ok. Make your mammy proud though. We will be here to help you every step of the way.

    Sarah

  • Ah deepest sympathies to you, I lost both of my parents when I was 40 and felt lucky to have had them for 40 years, 28 years is just too cruel, my heart goes out to you, thinking of you xxx

    P.S I can't even comment on your quit, as getting through the day must be tough enough for you at the moment! xx

  • So sorry

    Hi Mrs Mash,

    You don't know me, I'm new to the site. I'm really sorry to read your sad news. My heart felt condolenses to you and your family.

    You know what you have to find the courage to do Mrs M. We will all be here for you.

    Thoughts are with you,

    Pam xxx

  • Thanks everyone!

    Thank you all for you lovely messages!

    So true Max, roulette is getting way too dangerous!

    Just need to keep asking mum to give me strength and get my mind back into the correct place where I see smoking for what it really is..... A deadly killer!!

  • I am so sorry for your loss, your mum will give you the strength to quit.

    You can do this.

    Thinking of you. XXX

  • I am so sorry to hear your sad news :(

    Good luck for the start of your quit on Monday. You can do this and we'll all be here to encourage and guide you through!

    Sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way x

  • I'm really sorry for your loss hun (((hugs)))

    We'll be here for you on Monday xxx

  • With sympathy

    Hi MrsMash09

    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss - it's so sad.

    All the best with your quit. I could't do it on my own - I used Champix to help me - but everyone finds their own way to quit eventually.

  • Mrs Marsh, my heart is with you at this sad time. I know what you're going through as I lost my mum 3 years ago and I miss her every day. It is some consultation to know she is no longer in pain and is at peace. I believe she is with you and know she will give you strength to quit, when the time is right.

    Everyone in this forum is with you.

    Hugs

    Una xx

  • Hey my biggest sympathies to you and your family, I cant imagine loosing someone in that way.

    I can really relate to the emotions your going through with smoking. My dad died young due to his smoking and the first thing i thought when he died is 'i want to give up' as i felt almost guilty for smoking, like i was gloating that i smoke and i am alive? if that makes any sense. 2 years on still trying....never forgetting and you never will either i am sure.

    use your mums streangh to find a way to do it, I am sure she is looking down egging you to do whats right for you. But never feel guilty if you find yourself struggling either.

    reading your post is very inspiring, very sad news but thank you for sharing with us all.

    good luck xxx

  • Lung cancer got the better of my mammy, she passed away on Monday 3rd June so my previous motivation was short lived :(

    Me going back to smoking hasn't changed anything but at the time it was the first thing I wanted, how after watching mum struggle for her breathe I don't know :mad:

    I kept smoking over the next week we'll almost 2 now using the excuse today's not the day but that's just a pathetic excuse!

    I went to visit my aunt today who was very close to my mum, she's also a smoker. Her first words were are you still smoking to which I replied yes, her next words were remember what your mammy told you. When mum was ill she asked me to stop smoking so I didn't end up like her. I found it really strange my aunt said this to me as normally she'd be the kind of person to say "have a wee smoke, it will help you" therefore I'm seeing this as a kick up the a** from my mammy telling me to catch myself on!

    I am now setting Monday 17th June as my quit day, I can't keep using my feelings as an excuse as cancer doesn't hold out any cigarette could start the trigger and the whole it won't happen to me is rubbish!

    I have to do this for my son, myself and my mammy and daddy. I'm 28 years old with both parents passed away, I really don't want my son to feel the loneness I'm feeling.

    Please Mammy help me make this quit be the one!!

    I have been whining on in other posts about how i am struggling with my cravings - and your post has really touched me - your poor mam, it took my Granddad and made my dad unwell. But i carried on - so i hope the etars of your loss slowly are replaced with pride and good memories as you remember your mum with joy as a non-smoker vowing this er get the better of will never get the better of you!

  • So sorry for your loss Mrs Mashy :( wishing you all the best for your quit x

  • Thank you

    Thank you all so much for you lovely messages, glad to hear my post has helped some of you!

    Tomorrow is coming sooner than I thought and to be honest I'm kinda scared and already trying to find excuses to change my quit date but after only 2 weeks back smoking I'm back to feeling rotten when I wake up, coughing, my pearly whites are no so white and my chest is sore so I'm telling myself how smoking really does affect you in so many ways as a few weeks ago I didn't have any of this!

    I'm not going it alone, I need a bit of help so back on the patches I go! Only downside I have to buy them myself now as I came off the smoking clinic plan not that long ago you have to wait six months before you can register again but maybe it will make me take it more seriously, it will still be cheaper than smoking!!!

    You are all doing brilliantly in your quits and ate truly inspirational, I hope I can do it this time!!

  • Shame about having to pay for the patches again, talk to Gem, I know she's been ordering them online at a good price so maybe she could point you to a supplier she's used who's good.

    You called? :p

    Mrs M, I buy mine on ebay, they're around £6 to £7.50 for a week's supply for me.

    I can drop you a link to the people I buy mine from in a PM if you like - can't post it here 'cos it's advertising i guess?

    Don't be scared hunny, it's only fear that makes you keep smoking and really, if beign a nonsmoker was that bad I'd have gone back to the fags ages back :)

    We'll get you through!!

    xxx

  • Huge sympathy to you and your family. You really have all you need now to quit for good.

    I wish you all the good luck with your final quit, keep us updated, you can do it xxx

  • just what Kat said^^^ you will get there sweetie, come on tomorrow and let us know how well you have done as we all love sharing a success story xxxx

  • Motivating posts as ever!!

    Love this forum and all you so much you always know the right thing to say! Back to work full time tomorrow and I'll not be smoking from half 7 til half 4 ( I refuse to let anyone at work know that demon got me again plus no one else smokes so I never cos I feel like the leaper) therefore I know I'll get through this hours without issue so I may as well carry it through!

    Really feeling my chest sore today which scares me now so no time like the present! It's the morning I worry about but I'll do what I did last time have a little lay in and keep a patch beside the bed :)

  • Really sorry to hear of your very sad loss :(

    We are all here for you :)

    Best Wishes

    Trev

  • Hi i just wanted to write and offer my condolences.

    I also wanted to apologise in case you read my post from yesterday and thought my comment about life insurance was insensitive. It may have come across that i was making light of smoking related illnesses. I really am not. My poor attempt at humour. I tackle everything with a joke but no offence ment.

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