*disclaimer* - new quitters, don't be discouraged by this post. I've been doing just dandy for months now. Nearly seven months quit and very happy. Just need to get this out of my system!
Oh bad bad bad day. A lot of stress, money worries, am holding auditions for the next play that I'm directing for my company and nobody came, which was humiliating and worrying, and the lead guy I already cast has just been diagnosed with cancer and can't do the show at all, so I'm really upset about that. My mum is poorly, my brother has just announced to the family that he's alcoholic, I have raging PMT, and I had a drink this evening to drown my sorrows after the disastrous audition turnout.
Anyway, I've thought about smoking constantly all day, been desperate to smoke at certain points. Left the pub this evening and was standing in Tesco's and I was a gnat's chuff away from caving in, making all sorts of excuses in my head for getting away with it. I actually don't know how I managed not to. In the end I told myself that if I still felt this way tomorrow, I'd have one. And I went home. But I still want one now!
Just shows that the addiction can leap out and throttle you even seven months in.
I'm sure this too shall pass. Just thought I'd feel better if I wrote about it. Thanks for putting up with my rant.