What is support all about?

[nsd_user663_26699]

I'm not going to define it. I want to hear your opinion!

Someone new to quitting posts on the forum. How are you prepared to help them?

Alex.

[nsd_user663_50109]

I'm not going to define it. I want to hear your opinion!

Someone new to quitting posts on the forum. How are you prepared to help them?

Alex.

By spuring them on.. Telling them that the symptoms are all apart of it. Letting them no mistakes are there to be made

What's the point of a forum if people are going to kick u when ur down. Or telling u what a rubbish job I are doing

Someone on here not that long ago told someone they were a wimp because they were really worried about the symptoms. Not seen that person on here since to me that's not helping that's kicking someone when thee down and giving them the green light to smoke again.

[AngryBear]

Interesting question, topical too.

Personally speaking I would expect support, empathy and assistance in whatever form that takes, and a little time to adjust to things although I'm not TOO sensitive. I try and give that back now I'm a little further along the line, although I am no veteran and have NOT cracked it. What I don't expect is someone telling me it's OK to smoke or agreeing with me every time. You didn't agree about my smoking areas thread, as a few others didn't, but that was OK, we have to remain teachable and I certainly learned from that.

I find that what support is required depends on the person as an individual and their character, with most in my experience needing an arm round the shoulder rather than a kick up the a*se. Newcomers I always feel, rightly or wrongly, are looking for a reason to go and smoke again and I don't want to provide that reason. I say this because that's how I felt, for at least the first two weeks! If I'm wrong then it's just my experience.

Still if all the support and advice was the same on here, no one would read much of it!

[nsd_user663_48218]

Hi Alex, interesting thread!!!

In my opinion, support is subjective to what the person getting it needs it to be. For me, I wanted people to be there to give me encouragement and to share their success stories. I also wanted people to be honest with me in terms of the negatives I could/would experience. I don't want somebody to sugar coat things and tell me it will all be easy but I don't want to be told it will all be hard work. The balance on this forum is just right for me. If there is something I don't want to know about then I can usually tell by the thread title and can choose to avoid it. I can also give my opinion on topics as well without being made to feel wrong or stupid. And the biggest thing for me, no question is regarded as stupid. I can ask anything and get sensible answers/replies.

[Hidden]

Interesting question

I think that support (on this forum) comes in many forms.

Sometimes it is a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. Sometimes it is a kick up the arse.

For instance, if someone is really struggling support may just be as simple as "don't worry it really does get easier, go for a walk, take a bath ect"

If someone smokes and then tries to convince themselves that is ok then they need to be told it is not. That is not negative it is supportive, to say anything else would be validation of their actions...

If people believe that support is lots of people telling them exactly what they want to hear then they are some what lacking in the concept of a public forum.

As for those that jump on every post that does not comply to their view of "support" and cry bullying, well that is ridiculous.

It seems to be that people only ever take humberage and complain when they are told something they don't want to hear, no matter how valid the point may be.

Only my penneth worth.....

PS Hope everyone is ok

[nsd_user663_42390]

I'm not going to define it. I want to hear your opinion!

Someone new to quitting posts on the forum. How are you prepared to help them?

Alex.

I would welcome them and encourage them, reassure them that they wont always feel bad (most people feel bad in the early days) respond to thier individual needs when reading thier posts as best I can and then if they are really struggling, steer them to a post that I think they would find helpful. Keep an eye on thier progress and congratulate when appropriate!

[nsd_user663_3784]

Encouragement, sharing experiences, reassurance, distractions; support comes in many forms but whatever form of support is offered a vital component of it is tact.

One of the times when people have to be most careful is when giving home truths. More than half the problems on here over the years come from the fact that people make valid points but do it in a way lacking tact or diplomacy.

If that happens the recipient of the advice frequently misses the point, it just ends up putting their back up, and they or others end up arguing with the the person who was intending to offer the support.

[nsd_user663_49791]

Yes I would say that tact and diplomacy are probably the most important factors when giving advice on here.

We all seem to forget that with the written word it is very hard to convey humour and sarcasm but very easy to convey negativity and aggression.

Some members are prone to the bull in a china shop approach to support and with newbies who are often tetchy and vunerable this comes over as shall we say troll like.

A little humility goes a long way.

[Hidden]

Support is all about having lots of people respond to my posts, agreeing with my point of view, telling me that I'm awesome, handsome, winsome, smart, sexy, and destined for greatness.

That's right, isn't it? Isn't that what support is?

Okay, in all seriousness, support is all about encouraging people when they feel weak or vulnerable, offering facts and data when people don't have them, and telling the truth to people who may be kidding themselves.

Quitting smoking is tough - and we all do it all by ourselves. A little support - heck, a LOT of support, is helpful and reassuring and energizing, to be sure.

[nsd_user663_10013]

A little humility goes a long way.

That should be a sticky

[nsd_user663_26699]

I'm really happy to see this thread took off! At first I was thinking it might be one of those threads that falls flat on its face (I've had a few of those in the past), but you have all come up with some really great input.

Thanks!

Alex.

[AngryBear]

Consider yourself commended Karri

[nsd_user663_26699]

It's also a good idea to show new members how to configure the We Quit Control Panel Interface. I forget exactly where to find these options, but I think it's somewhere under "User CP".

[austinlegro 11 Years Smoke Free]

sniff...

It's nice to be remembered...

[nsd_user663_26699]

sniff...

It's nice to be remembered...

Oops, busted!

[nsd_user663_3784]

If you think that you are "being taken for a ride" please report as trolling rather than taking it upon yourself to have a go at another member.

The moderating team will look into any report and judge it accordingly. Some who seem to be trolling may just be be over anxious, we have seen these situations many times if someone is trolling we will deal with them, its part of what we are here to do.

[Unah]

Shucks. my spellchecker didn't work. Perhaps it's been over worked

[nsd_user663_48461]

Encourage, energise, empathise, especially for the newbies. We've all been there, we all want re-assurance in those early days that it will get better. Positive reinforcement is generally a great motivator.

Sometimes though, I feel that there is a need to 'tell it how it is', but applying some sensitivity and basic courtesy in conveying that message.

Well, IMHO anyway, for what it's worth.