Day 1 For Me

On Saturday I wrote a post on the forum declaring quitting attempts were over and I was staying a confirmed smoker. Today I am sheepishly having to write a follow up post declaring "I've quit" :o

What changed? I have had a sore throat for a few weeks now and today I decided to see the Doctor. I felt a bit of a time waster as apart from the throat and some niggly symptoms I feel well. Anyway, she looked at my throat, checked my ears (as the pain is in the ear too) and asked a series of questions. When I told her my voice had been hoarse also she looked a bit concerned. I had my blood taken and was told to make a follow up appointment next week. I was just told it's always better to check sore throats that last this long - especially in smokers.

Now I haven't lost weight and logic is telling me that this is just a sore throat and smoking has aggravated it and stopped it getting better. The life long smoker in me is asking if I have pushed my luck :(

When I started to think of the "what if's" tonight I got this over whelming fear. I realised how precious life is and that I want to live it for many years to come. I am petrified already and it might be nothing. Whatever the outcome I will never forget how scared this has made me. That will make me NEVER pick up another cigarette.

If the damage is done I will have to face it head on. If it turns out it is just a sore throat then I will be forever grateful for the second chance.

2012 hasn't been the greatest year so far but if this is nothing more than a warning from my body I will happily take whatever life throws at me.

Quitting isn't going to be easy but the alternative is worst. Sorry this has been a bit of a long read, I think I just needed to get it all out. Not worrying my family just yet in case it's nothing so I'm carrying this on my own x x x

36 Replies

  • Welcome back Karri!

    Hopefully none of your fears come true... They rarely ever do, thank goodness. I've died of every disease known to man several times already. :D

    And once again, good luck with staying quit!


  • Hey Karri,

    I sincerely hope your sore throat is nothing to worry about. I too was scared that one day I would push my luck too far and it would all be to late. Listen to this warning and do your darndest to make this the turning point in your life.

    Gaynor x

  • Thanks Karri.

    I was in no way mentally in the right place for this quit. I haven't been in the 'right place' for months. I was however deeply concerned about my chest and breathing. I knew I could not carry on pushing my luck. So I just did it.

    It has been the easiest quit and I hope that you will find the same in yours. Sometimes we need a scare and a kick up the back side and I mean that in the nicest way possible.

    Good luck.

    G x

  • Karri

    At some point in every successful quit there is a point where "it clicks" I had a discussion with a guy on a martial arts forum suggesting that being a smoker was like altitude training. WTF? When I read back what I had written I realised that I was in denial and spouting BS! For me that was a road to Damascus moment for me.

    Maybe this check up is your change point where your desire to stop exceeds your desire to continue?

    Good luck with it,

    I know you can win.

  • I think George Washington said 'worry is the interest paid by those who borrow trouble'.

    Hopefully - likely - this sore throat will turn out to be nothing. But you're right. Now's the time to wise up and stop borrowing trouble. And a few days or weeks down the line when the worry is behind you, and your inner junkie starts ratcheting up the pressure and thinking up great excuses for you to smoke, do, DO remember this feeling.

    When I quit it was because flu and asthma combined had given me a taster of how truly awful it is not being able to breathe. It was absolutely a turning point in my life, because down the line when the temptation to smoke was strong, remembering that desperate fight for oxygen kept me on the straight and narrow.

    Don't be too frightened, I'm sure you'll be fine. And I hope so much that this will be your turning point. You've tried so bravely and so often. You deserve to find the quit that succeeds, whatever starts it off.


  • Oops!

    posted on t'other thread before reading this one.

    Yay!! :)

    Karri, you know only too well that there are many peeps here who will be...

    1. a willing listening ear

    2. a shoulder to cry on

    3. someone who will kick you up the bum

    4. just here to make you laugh and feel better

    5. *insert other schtuff here...*

    You go, girl! :)

  • What Helen said :)

  • Karri - don't think we've spoken before but I've always been secretly rooting for you! ;)

    ^^what everyone else up there said! :D

    Hope your throat feels better soon xx

  • hey karri ,all the best with this quit, Russian roulette is great when your winning, not great when your not, eventually luck runs out cos thats what keeps smokers free of terrible health conditions , luck like anything else doesnt last forever , once that bullet fires its fired. i dont beleive u have anything to worry about regarding your throat, but carry on smoking and eventually something will give. Wanting to quit smoking yet still doing it is not sustainable, a divided house cannot stand, I beleive your being given a very clear message from life, the universe and yourself, u know and we all know what its saying, and guess what . support will be freely given to you its part of the deal, ask anyone on here who has quit, im sure they will agree.

    All the best. Mash x

  • hey karri

    i am sure all will be fine with your throat but this is really really a message to you

    i had real scares literally weeks before i quit, racing heartbeat [100 bpm] is the lowest i could ever get it could hear my heart in my ears all day everyday, i had a blocked ear and could bearly hear out of one side even after syringing and smals chest pains i truely believe this was a message to me as since quitting with in a week these symptoms dissapeared and never returned i even to this day believe my body was telling me no more smoking

    and in my wobbly moments i keep all of this at the forfront of my mind i have been given a chance and i am taking it and running do the same and run with me [not literally as we would have to stop for a breather just up the road lol] '


  • What everyone said.......

  • Hi Karri, felt sad the other day when you wrote you where going back to smoking. I am sorry it as took a scare to make you want to quit again as it would any of us, but so glad you have made that decision.

    I am sure you will be fine sweetheart. So glad your back.

    Love Joan xx

  • Rooting for you sweetheart, you can do it.

    Love Joan xx

  • Hi Karri, just read this. I feel for you, I really do. You seem to struggle so much and I remember willing you to succeed on your last quit. My son is disabled and has other medical problems and I have blamed my smoking on the stress of it all, that was the past. He hates smoking and I need to succeed for him as much as me. When I struggle, I get on my bike. Honestly Karri, there is no better feeling in the world, try it.....please. I can leave my house in an awful temper and come back soooo calm. I wish you lived near me, I would come get you. I hope this is YOUR quit this time, I will be praying for you

  • Hi Karri

    Everyone's said it all already - but I'm adding my own voice to the 'this is the best thing you can or could ever do for your future health' message. You CAN do this, Karri. Most of us would say this, I know, but honestly if I can, anyone can.

    You've got all the knowledge. And now you might well have found that trigger which will kickstart a new determination that your smoking days are well and truly over. I really really hope so - because a smoke free life is soooo much better.

    Sue (knitting tips available on request!!)


  • Only just caught up with this Karri, well done, just keep telling yourself you CAN do this. Good Luck :D

  • Hi Karri, I don't post much but I do come on to read the posts as often as I can to keep me on the straight and narrow :D

  • Good news....

    Glad to hear all is well, just need to keep your guard up as you can be sure Mr Nicodemon will be calling...

    Stay with it you are doing great!!;)

  • hello karri. i rarely come on here anymore and i know that i should to lend support. i have been quit for almost a year and a half!!

    you can do it! your story reminds me of the same thing i went through...

    1 month before i quit i had a lump that scared me so much..of course i thought i has cancer or something and i has promised myself that i would quit smoking by the time i was 30 and i was then 32....i promised my higher power that if this turned out to be nothing then i would really quit smoking this time after so many failed attempts....

    well it turned out to be nothing and i got a shot and it went away! i know God dsnt make deals but that thought process worked for me so i decided that since my higher power kept his promise i would keep mine!!

    all the best karri--you can do it..please dont wait till its to late!!

    major wake up call for ya hun!!..

  • Good luck Karri, really hope this one sticks for you, and your health x

  • Hi Karri . i had that acid thingey yrs ago. it sent shooting pains down my arm and i thought it was a heart attack... the bottom line is that smoking was causing the acid in the first place... i still carried on puffin .... had a stroke.. carried on puffin..... then the penny dropped and i quit... dont know what i ever saw in it... waste o bloody sucked the life out o me..... better than any vampire ever could and even charged me for it..

    Mash x

  • ..... and even charged me for it..

    Mash x

    And thats the final kick in the arse isn't it?

  • The dealers and pushers of that drug must see us as complete dikkeds, cattle!..... im horrified to realize how much i paid to join and now they dont give a toss about me...... eeeeeeee i hate them so much.


  • Nice job, Karri!! You on day 11 now for real? Awesome!!! Keep it up, I'm so excited for you! Well done Mrs Persistence!

  • Awesome Karri...didn't know you'd quit 11 days. You're doing massively's funny when it clicks it just clicks! You can do it mate.

    Lisa x

  • Hi Karri

    My stop date is the same as yours :) I too am experiencing the sore throat thing and am worried sick. Mine is like a tonsilitus kind of pain, been to docs and they said its with stopping smoking but its worrying me now as its not going, and like you my voice is hoarse.

    keep me posted on how you go on with it

    How did you stop, I did it cold turkey, iv had a few days were iv really struggled but not been as bad as i expected.

    keep up the good work

    Rach x

  • Hi Rach

    I have just got over the sore throat thing. Its not like a normal cold throat but more like a tonsils infection. Mine got worse at times and seemed to move to the roof of my mouth. Its gone now but took 10 days. Only other symptom was feeling very tired. Yours sounds similar so perhaps it just needs a bit more time.

    If you have seen the doctor I would stop worrying as stress can also cause sore throats.

    Quote "my voice is hoarse" well cheer up we dont want any long faces here.

    Well they say the old ones are the best but hmmmmm perhaps not in this case.

    Stick at it your doing great.

  • :D so good to see you have been quit 11 days Karri

    well done you :)

    onwards and upwards is the way to go



  • i didnt mean to dissappear :(but i had quite afew emotional and health probs that just over whelmed me for a long time

    i have just come out of hospital where i had a few procedures done that will hopefully once im healed improve the quality of my general health and well being but i keep getting infections in the wounds which is fustrating as its hindering my recovery im just waiting for the nurse to come and change my dressings

    i did miss the friends i have made on here while i was away and i will try my best not to dissappear again :)

    so happy your doing so well


  • Well done Karri - I hope that this one sticks. Nothing like a good scare to get that quit on the road. :p

    And welcome back Carol - hope that you get well soon.

  • Lordy why am I so negative at the moment. Been miserable, tearful and paranoid since yesterday. Have started using phrases like "if I smoke again" etc. it feels like deep down I'm already seeing this as not forever. Hope I get those positive thoughts back soon :(

    Remember your weekend weakness.....

    Go for a walk or watch a Johnny Depp movie to distract yourself :D

  • hope your over the weekend craves Karri

    they always put you in a different state of mind

    if you think your going to struggle more at the weekends it may pay you to plan for them and try and keep to a shedule and stay busy as much as possible

  • Karri, you CAN do this. Weekends were hard for me as well as that's when I had more time on my hands to sit and have a drink and a smoke. Try to put the money you save in a jar if you can - this wasn't a reason for me quitting but I found it helped to count the money when I had a crave. I only smoked 10 per day and now have £800 in my jar so it does mount up. Another thing I did and it might sound silly was to change my wash powder and conditioner (I always find you get used to the smell after so long). It really helps me when putting a jumper or coat on and it smells clean and fresh and not of smoke - just another little reminder of the positives of quitting:D

  • karri remember how you felt when you thought something was wrong run that feeling over and over in your head this always helped me going over and over things in my head

    try to think that you have had a lucky escape this time and everything is ok maybe this is fate giving you a chance here, a warning, thats how i saw all my symptoms prior to quitting they were my warning and i know if i go back and smoke again something will happen to me just a gut feeling i have. maybe its not a gut feeling maybe i have seen through my nicodemon now and you need to stay strong so you can see through yours you have done brill so far you just have to keep going and listen to what fate is trying to tell you


  • Enjoy Barcelona Karri and I hope it does you good. I sympathise with the weight issue as I have the same problem but after 8 months of not smoking am now feeling able to deal with it - one thing at a time. Carrying a bit of extra weight has got to be healthier than smoking, and once one thing is under control you can focus on the other. Have a lovely break away :D

  • Hi Karri

    I think I know something of what you're feeling. This is how I felt before I deliberately and consciously sabatoged my last quit. I wasn't craving a smoke, I was craving an end to the horrible feelings. (Depression, pointlessness). Why did I think a fag would help me? For me it's because it's what I'm used to. Suck back down all that bad stuff along with the smoke. Smoking can endlessly distract you from your sadness. I also believe, for me, nicotine does raise my mood. But there must be a better way. And this is what I'm struggling with at the moment.

    I'll be honest, if you have a cigarette you may feel temporarily better, but it won't last long. You'll be back in the cycle of guilt, ill-health and despising yourself for your "weakness".

    It's not fair how you're feeling, and I not surprised you feel sorry for yourself.

    Why shouldn't you? You're having a tough time. It is like grief, but grief has to end. Doesn't it?

    I wish there was more help out there for people who are suffering like this.

    In my experience this is one aspect of NHS smoking cessation that is missed. And I think it could make the difference between success and failure.

    I hope your break gives you a fresh perspective and at least some pleasure!

    Good luck Karri, you've been so helpful to me and so understanding. I really want you to still be here when I make my next attempt, but no pressure!!!



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