On Saturday I wrote a post on the forum declaring quitting attempts were over and I was staying a confirmed smoker. Today I am sheepishly having to write a follow up post declaring "I've quit"
What changed? I have had a sore throat for a few weeks now and today I decided to see the Doctor. I felt a bit of a time waster as apart from the throat and some niggly symptoms I feel well. Anyway, she looked at my throat, checked my ears (as the pain is in the ear too) and asked a series of questions. When I told her my voice had been hoarse also she looked a bit concerned. I had my blood taken and was told to make a follow up appointment next week. I was just told it's always better to check sore throats that last this long - especially in smokers.
Now I haven't lost weight and logic is telling me that this is just a sore throat and smoking has aggravated it and stopped it getting better. The life long smoker in me is asking if I have pushed my luck
When I started to think of the "what if's" tonight I got this over whelming fear. I realised how precious life is and that I want to live it for many years to come. I am petrified already and it might be nothing. Whatever the outcome I will never forget how scared this has made me. That will make me NEVER pick up another cigarette.
If the damage is done I will have to face it head on. If it turns out it is just a sore throat then I will be forever grateful for the second chance.
2012 hasn't been the greatest year so far but if this is nothing more than a warning from my body I will happily take whatever life throws at me.
Quitting isn't going to be easy but the alternative is worst. Sorry this has been a bit of a long read, I think I just needed to get it all out. Not worrying my family just yet in case it's nothing so I'm carrying this on my own x x x