Curly

[nsd_user663_38347]

Hello,I'm new on here but have been reading the forum for a little while and you all seem so supportive. I'm on day 8 of not smoking and it's been really hard but I'm on champix which has helped. This week has been tough as I thought I was doing well as we has OFSTED inspectors in at the beginning of the week and although really stressed I didn't smoke but yesterday morning one of the pupils I teach got killed on his way to school and I feel so selfish in just wanting a ciggie to help me try and get through this,feel guiltly for even writing this down,his family have lost their son and me thinking I want a ciggie sounds ridiculous. Sorry for writing an essay but yesterday and today has been so hard,looking after and councilling the kids and talking to his family I just feel I need back my old crux to deal with the pain(although I know it's an excuse).

[nsd_user663_4149]

Hiya Curly and welcome to the forum. For a start you shouldn't feel one bit guilty. Eight days smoke free is great. You have been through a lot in your first week but you have got through it. If you are struggling, keep at it, it will get better. Instead of feeling guilty you should be feeling proud. David

[nsd_user663_38347]

Thanks David I am doing my best,thank you for the support.

[nsd_user663_24115]

Hi Curly, sorry to hear your tragic news,when things like that come our way we just want to hold on to something anything to cope with those intense immense feelings , but smoking wont change them or make them go away. you can get through this without smoking. I recently went through a similar thing, my autopilot just wanted a cigarette. i shared it on here and these amazing good folks got me through without smoking, it would have felt right to smoke like i deserved a cigarette but im so glad i didnt. i just felt the feelings and folk on here held me virtually. i know now ican get through anything without a smoke and you can too. keep with your quit its worth it.

Mash x

[nsd_user663_32615]

Hi Curly

Welcome to the forum. The reality is that this would have been a difficult week whether you were smoking or not. Smoking certainly wouldn't have changed anything for the better.

Well done for making it through though. The first week is by far the most difficult and you managed to survive it under really challenging circumstances. The Champix will help you a lot, and reading about the quitting process on here will make a huge difference by helping you to understand the process. Lots of people on here have useful links on their signatures as well.

Keep going Curly - and keep posting on here - it does help to be supported by people who understand what you are going through.

[nsd_user663_20558]

Welcome Curly - I'm so sorry that such an awful thing has happened. At such an early stage the stress and grief would drive many people back to smoking and you should feel proud that you're coming on here and posting about it instead of just giving in to the impulse.

As others have said, the bald fact is that having a cigarette doesn't actually help with anything. It doesn't make you any less sad, or busy, or angry. And despite our being conditioned to believe it, smoking doesn't relieve stress. It's just an association we've built up in our heads.

Hang on to that thought and be proud that you've made it to eight days. Just keep getting through it one day at a time. You'll be so glad you did.

Take care,

Helen

[nsd_user663_38347]

Thank you so much for the support everyone,so many kind words. I still haven't smoked it's been 11 days now! Thank you for making me feel like my reaction to wanting a ciggie wasn't the most selfish reaction to have.x curly

[nsd_user663_38091]

Hi Curly,

well done you for going through that awful trauma without having a cigarette.....that is sooooooooo strong......can't imagine how you must be feeling......but we're all here to support you

Michelle