Hi all
Forgive me for my lengthy off loads. It helps me get through this. I'm also gonna take this stuff to my cessation group. My memory isn't too good just now and when the smoking nurse says, "So, Andrew...how are you getting on"? 12 other quitters turn their eyes to me and it happens...performance anxiety lol.
I was on an overnight at work last night so today is really Day 3 & 4. A few flashback urges to smoke which are quite scarey to be honest but nothing to report home about really.
It's getting really hard coping with the changes in my mental health. Also having some fairly noticeable and unpleasant physical effects.
Mental:
Negative stuff:
I am coping with stress but feeling quite angry and aggressive inside when others expect me to give them answers to what I see as relatively straight forward problem solving.
Less ability to tolerate those little things about other people that bug me.
Having senior moments e.g. wrote my own name at the top of a file note I write for the service users I support, also picking up other peoples coffee and drinking it, taking folders to the toilet in the office and leaving them there, and losing everything, lol.
Feeling a bit speedy and manic at times, lots of trouble sleeping, imagining arguing with people, telling my boss how it's going to be and giving up my job hehe. Identity crisis now I don't smoke...who am I? Insecurities and power tripping in my dreams which are soooooo weird and wonderful and actually quite exhausting and emotionally mixed up. Makes a mental note to discuss this with therapist :rolleyes:
Postivie Stuff:
I don't smoke.
I might live longer.
I might not get horrid, painful diseases associated with smoking.
I don't rely on smoking to make me mentally and emotionally strong.
I don't use smoking to deal with stress at work now.
I have no smoking stress breaks = getting more work completed quicker = happy boss.
I don't feel like an outcast, social reject at work. Empowered.
I think my clarity of thought is sharper.
I strangely feel calmer but at the same time feel anxious.
I will never go through this withdrawal pain again in my life!
Physical
Negative stuff:
My appetite has gone from having the munchies to can't stomach the sight of a main course meal. Can only snack. Had to force breakfast down my neck this morning as I was wrenching after taking my Champix on an empty stomach. Word of advice there to anyone thinking about Champix. Take it after you have eaten!
Still getting aches and pains like I got the cold. The pain is too sore and distracting without regular pain killers.
Sneezing a lot? Especially when I wake in the morning. Nose running.
The muck in my chest is starting to clear. I am not a very attractive sight in the morning just now
Look like I have a hangover in the morning but I haven't been boozing?
Headaches, nausea and wrenching, especially when exposed to passive smoke. Nausea first thing in the morning worse.
I still have a horrid taste like ashtray mouth on my tongue especially in the morning?
I can smell if other people have poor personal hygiene. Buses stink.
I look pregnant.
Positive stuff
Maybe I am pregnant with an artificial Champix test baby lol
The world is full of lovely smells.
Food tastes real good when I'm not feeling sick.
My skin already looks brighter on my face.
My eyes are already whiter, less blood shot.
No smelly yellow index finger.
Breathe easier through the night.
Music sounds ace, head rushes, think that might be the Champix lol.
Slight nausea will stop me getting a fatter gut during quit. Mental note. Must remember to buy vitamin supplements today.
Well folks, that's my wierd 'n' wonderful day 4 'n' I'm off out to spend money as a treat for not smoking. Not that I ever needed an excuse lol.
Chillax everyone and stay quit.
Andrew