I've been going through a bit of reflection and thought I would put down my reasons for quitting, a little late, I'm at 10 weeks, but my reasons at the beginning are different to my reasons now........
I had wanted to quit for several years, trouble was I loved smoking, all my favourite rock stars and idols smoked....Slash from Guns n Roses was one of the reasons I started, there was nothing cooler than a guitar playing god with a fag dangling from his mouth, anyway I digress........
I loved smoking and it made many social circumstamces easier when you could hook up with a fellow smoker, never mind the fact that almost every family member I had (except dad) smoked, so once I became addicted, there was no looking back.....
I managed to quit quite a few times, although i have a gorgeous 4 year old, I have also lost 5 pregnancies, I often wonder if smoking contributed to that even though I would quit once I knew I was pregnant, the doctors say its unlikely, but my body was obviously not in a healthy state.
Following a 10 month quit after my little boy arrived, I suffered the loss of my dad, I took up smoking again like a shot, and drinking too, in fact I wanted to follow the path to self destruction, grief consumed me for 3 years.
I started to feel strongly about quitting 18 months ago, we tried nicotene gum but only lasted 1 day. I became stressed about what I was doing to my body smoking and drinking, I used to wake up OH in the middle of the night and say "we have to give up smoking and drinking, i'm depressed", he'd say ok and the next day it was all forgotten.
A year ago I started to get a lump in my throat, it gradually got bigger, sometimes i would have trouble swallowing. Did I quit smoking - NO, even though I thought it was something bad! I finally got the courage to go and get it checked, it turned out to be a huge ball of acid (there was a medical name for it) and this acid would build up with stress, in fact it was caused by anxiety, Even when the relief set in I didnt give up smoking, in fact I started smoking more.
When my little boy would watch me rush around if we were going out somewhere, he'd say to me "you got your fads mum", he meant fags, he obviously seen me so many times looking in the cupboard, anxiously looking in the packet to check i had enough to get me through the day.
I became quite poorly 8 months ago, I suddenly developed nasty skin condition on my hands and face, followed by respitory problems, over the months it got more serious, I was put on an asthma inhaler and told it must be an allergy and I was put on a waiting list to be checked. I remember lying in bed and having to jump up to get breath, I would yawn or try anything to get some air to my chest, I cut down my smoking, each cigarette was like a couple of minutes of total panic, the lack of breath gradually got worse, once or twice I was close to calling an ambulance as I thought I would stop breathing or I couldnt swallow.
Coupled with this health problem, I was also psychologically unstable, I would look in the mirror and think that I had growths in my mouth, one time i even thought my gums were shrinking, it was madness, I was paranoid about smoking and dying and leaving my precious child. Enough was enough.
I said to myself, I CANNOT carry on smoking, it is making my allergy/breathing worse. So I quit because I couldnt smoke............I didnt quit for me, or my little boy, or the health benefits, or financial benefits, I quit because I physically couldnt do it at that time, what a selfish cow i was.
Anyway after a reluctant quit I found that not only were the amazing health benefits worth staying quit for, but I was not stressed or anxious anymore, in fact I had never been so happy or relaxed. I was checked out and I didnt have an allergy, rather I had a serious case of anxiety which triggered a range of other symptoms. But I also found out I have done some damage to my chest through smoking, luckily nothing that cannot be overcome by staying quit, my breathing will continue to improve by staying off cigarettes. I have been very fortunate, I am lucky and I'm thankful, although very angry with myself for having continued smoking when it was obviously screwing me up inside and out.
My reasons now are the same as everyone else, I stay quit because i love life, my family and the wonderful health and wealth being FREE has given me. I never want to go back now, how could I? Quitting is hard, but being an emotional wreck due to addictions is harder. Quitting smoking has prevented me from having to use anti-depressants, so as you can see, my life has turned around.
Apologies for the lengthy thread, I never intended to reveal so much of myself and my experiences, however, I hope it might help someone who can relate to it to stay quit, at 33 years old smoking was destroying me, health problems aren't reserved for elderly smokers, it could happen to any smoker at any age.
I now appreciate every breath I take and love the saying 'Breathe deep, hug hard, live long'..........so apt.
Good Luck to everyone........Shelly xx