Do I have to go back to day 1?

without going into what turned into an eastanders style argument built on the base of Laurel and Hardy slapstick the bare a$$ed facts are mid argument i got a backhander, during the screaming after math i was passed a fag lit it without a single by your leave, got 2/3 draws in and said i dont smoke and threw it in the gutter

What i can categorically say to those midcrave

it tastes like sh1t

it leaves your mouth coated in a weird slimy film

ive ended up with a (probably psycowhatits) sore throat and tight chest

my confidence is shattered

and i was already feeling low, now i feel low and weak and stupid, aka MUCH worse

it didnt help one bit it added stress to an already upsetting and confusing time

im so P'eed off - as I WASNT THINKING ABOUT SMOKING! the whole farce i was coping, then someone who admittedly hasnt seen me in ages just passed me one and off i went in a cloud of smoke

so are we allowed blips or is it right back to day 1?

take a vote lemme know, im off to scrub my mouth again i swear i cant shift this taste

29 Replies

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  • Hey Sassy, sorry you've had a pretty poo time recently. I personally think you're allowed this blip as you didn't smoke it all and it has positively reinforced that you are a non smoker and have learnt from it so in that way I see it as a good thing, as rather than wondering what that fag is like for evermore you've done it and it truly was RANK! I honestly believe you won't smoke again

    Hugs missus xx

  • Hey Sassy, hope you feel better soon, and things settle for you!

    As far as what day you're on goes, this subject has caused more rows on this forum than anything else that I've seen since I joined :rolleyes:.

    As an opinion, I can only speak for myself. I had my last full fag on June 22nd at about 10pm, then had a couple of drags on one at about 8pm on the 24th; that is my quit date as I've not had a puff since. If I did have a drag now I would probably go back to day one and would not be happy about it, but that is just for me. I for one would not criticise you if you treated it as a "blip" (hate that word though!), life's too bloody short!

    At the end of the day it's a personal thing, no-one can legally bind you to anything and it has caused ructions only on here with regards to what room you post in I suppose.

    Whatever the case, you've had a couple of drags in however long it's been so you're still winning, just don't fall into thinking that you might as well have a couple now you've had a bit of one, that would be a shame! ;)

  • In my opinion, I don't think you need to go back to day 1. You only had a few puffs under trying circumstances. I slipped up on day 12 and started over. In my mind I still think of my quit date as May and that's where I count the money saved from. £2000 today. Yippee!!!

    I'm so glad you hated it. I would really love to have one puff just to see if I hate it too. I'm scared to try:eek:

  • Hi Sassy

    Most importantly .... hope you won the "argument" :D

    I would say f%^k it and carry on!

    As others have said at least it confirms your quit as it tasted so crap!

    I mentioned my mother-in-law a while back who had stopped for years but always felt she was denying herself something....then after a few drinks at a party she tried one .... nearly puked .... thought it was disgusting and felt 10 times better about quitting!

    Why not use that, turn this event round to your favour.

    Let it make you even more confident about your quit!

    My mother-in-law didn't count that night at the party where she had a couple of puffs as starting again ... in fact she didn't count it at all....the main thing was she stopped and has been stopped for decades.

    She can't even remember when she stopped and certainly can't remember when the party was.....but the memory is there in a good way as a positive marker in here life rather than a failure!

    Really hope some of that made sense!

    Chin up....you got this! :D

    Greg

    x

  • In my mind I still think of my quit date as May and that's where I count the money saved from. £2000 today. Yippee!!!

    Wow Una now there's some money!!! Well done you!

    Molly x

  • Hi Sassy, stay right where you are mate, you're not going anywhere!

    You are one day ahead of me and that's where you are jolly well staying!

    For me, the issue of going back to day 1 has far more to do with if you feel like you'll do it again and therefore be at risk of slipping back into smoking. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!!

    You are my pathfinder, how can you do that back at day one? No you can't so, stay where you are, DON'T EVER do that again, nuf said.

    Molly x

  • For me the rule needs to be "one puff and start again at day 1". There is a specific reason for this: to discourage me from having one puff.

    However, it's clear that for you it's different. You've had a couple of puffs - being fed a cig from someone else rather than buying it yourself - and then you decisively binned the rest of the cig in disgust. Moreover, you are clearly determined not to have another smoke, and disgusted by the idea of doing so.

    Thus I think that in this instance you don't have to start again at day one. However, if you have one more puff, I think you will have to start again at day 1.

  • Flippin heck Sassy, With what you have had to put up with I'm not surprised you had a couple of puffs.

    You have come leaps and bounds since your day 1, and despite falling down the stairs and doing in your ankle, knee, collarbone, shoulder, chipping a tooth and having an abcess. Then to have all this thrown at you, well...I know I couldn't have been as strong as you, I think I would have become a full blown smoker again by now.

    Don't you dare go back to day one, you truely are an inspiration to us all. You deserve to carry on from where you are. You know that fags taste like sh1t and that you aren't going to smoke again, so this has just reinforced you quit to you even more.

    If anyone tells you to go back to day 1 tell them to do one or threaten them with my singing. ;)

    I really hope that things improve for you soon. Chin up.

    Love May x :)

  • Flippin heck Sassy, With what you have had to put up with I'm not surprised you had a couple of puffs.

    You have come leaps and bounds since your day 1, and despite falling down the stairs and doing in your ankle, knee, collarbone, shoulder, chipping a tooth and having an abcess. Then to have all this thrown at you, well...I know I couldn't have been as strong as you, I think I would have become a full blown smoker again by now.

    Don't you dare go back to day one, you truely are an inspiration to us all. You deserve to carry on from where you are. You know that fags taste like sh1t and that you aren't going to smoke again, so this has just reinforced you quit to you even more.

    If anyone tells you to go back to day 1 tell them to do one or threaten them with my singing. ;)

    I really hope that things improve for you soon. Chin up.

    Love May x :)

    Hear hear ! Agree completely x

  • Flippin heck Sassy, With what you have had to put up with I'm not surprised you had a couple of puffs.

    You have come leaps and bounds since your day 1, and despite falling down the stairs and doing in your ankle, knee, collarbone, shoulder, chipping a tooth and having an abcess. Then to have all this thrown at you, well...I know I couldn't have been as strong as you, I think I would have become a full blown smoker again by now.

    Don't you dare go back to day one, you truely are an inspiration to us all. You deserve to carry on from where you are. You know that fags taste like sh1t and that you aren't going to smoke again, so this has just reinforced you quit to you even more.

    If anyone tells you to go back to day 1 tell them to do one or threaten them with my singing. ;)

    I really hope that things improve for you soon. Chin up.

    Love May x :)

    Hear hear, me too x

  • Just for you Sassy. :D

    Please post soon.

  • Well said May

    Come on Sassy.........live up to your name and get back on here and shake your booty!! ;)

    ....or we'll all crowd round you and scream in your ears........

    AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! :mad:

    Come on ...... Rock n'Roll!

  • Take a vote? Do I go back to day 1? WTF :rolleyes:

    Threads like this do nothing but cause rows. You'll get a group of people telling you it's ok and a few telling you to get back to day 1. Then the first group of people feel uncomfortable at you being told you have only quit since you last smoked and stick up for what you did.

    You made an elaborate story to make the fact you smoked more understandable to others. Now instead of being disappointed they feel sorry for you - job done.

    Do what YOU want to do, it's YOUR quit. You should ask yourself why though after 3 months you took that cigarette. That should be more important to you than seeking forum approval for smoking.

    Totally disagree Karri

    She obviously felt the need to come on and speak up. OK she's looking for friends to back her up ...... what's wrong with that?

    **** all in my book!!!!

  • Hi Karri

    I've only ever seen a couple of your posts but it seems to me that you have a knack for destroying peoples positivity and confidence. (Please accept my apologies if this was not the case earlier in your quit)

    I wasn't "hoping to gain" anything I was simply putting my point of view across on an, as you say, public forum.

    You seem, to me, to be quite an unhappy person. You come across with the "tough love" image or perhaps you are just being a realist?

    You obviously did not like my post and yet you say:

    "Am I supposed to shake in my shoes and withdraw my opinion because you don't like it?"

    Does this mean you can say what you like but I cannot?

    Very confusing.

    You may be a long way down your quit, I don't know, but in case you didn't realise, we are all in the very early stages of re-adjusting our lives to be smoke free. We are all, perhaps, in a delicate situation and trying our best to keep each other on track.

    I was trying to put myself in Sassy's shoes, her confidence is shattered, she has been through an extremely hard time of late and is trying to come to terms with her situation.

    Now, in her shoes, if I read your post my confidence would have been completely destroyed...therefore I felt the need to try and balance the "point of view" on this fantastic "public forum"

    I hope you understand my point of view.

    Take care

    Greg

  • The way I see it, you have three choices:

    [*]Go back to Day One.

    [*]Keep your original quit date and call it a blip.

    [*]Keep your original quit date, but be willing to say I quit on (insert date) and had a few puffs on (insert date). Sort of like an asterisk.

    Whatever keeps you on your quit is the option you should choose. If it were me, I'd have to start all over with a new Day One. As Biggrin said, that keeps me from taking that one puff.

    But that's what works for ME. At the end of the day, choose what works for YOU.

  • I have to go with the choose what works for you people. I get what everyone is saying and all the points are valid. However everyone works differently and every quit is different. Karri made some very valid points. I also understand nifty's point - some people are quick to be negative but in my own experience Karri is not one of them. Nifty is a very positive person and that is a great way to be, but again, everyone is different.

    Do what is best for you. If that means going back to day 1 then so be it. If it's carrying on then go for it. A thing like this is your own decision. By all means listen to what has been said, but listen to yourself above all and make the decision that's best for you.

  • That is the funniest post I have ever read. I particularly like the part where you ask me if you are not allowed an opinion. I think you will find it was you who instigated the moral high horse post to me first.

    I'm a lot happier these days actually Nifty. After a big breakdown earlier in the year I am finally on track and I'm laughing a lot more now. Despite wanting to jump in front of a train I have always been happy for others if not myself. So no I don't say things to ruffle feathers or hurt anyone, I just say my opinion.

    I'm not sure why my post would upset Sassy. I stand by thinking asking for a vote on whether to go back to day 1 a pretty stupid idea. This is her quit and she is accountable for it, nobody else. I still think its important that she thinks about why so far down the line she even took a puff. By doing that she is more likely to not fall into the trap again. Perhaps you could tell me why that is so bad?

    Lastly take a look at the signatures on this thread. NOPE and your only a puff away from that next packet. People have those signatures to remind themselves how easy it is to slip back to old habits.

    If you had read my posts you would see that I'm not the nasty person you have portrayed me as. You would also see that as a chronic relapser I know how we post to justify that one puff or one cigarette. Sassy could have just said "hey I had two puffs of a cigarette but i hated it and I'm moving on". But she asked what people thought so I answered.

    My quitting history is absolute pants so I know how hard quitting is. I would never drain someone's confidence. I didn't tell Sassy to get back to day 1, I told her to do what's right for her.

    Hi Karri

    Firstly I apologise if I spoke out of turn.

    I was not aware of you personal background and I am sorry to hear you have had problems in the past.

    I am also glad to hear you are feeling better than you did and hope you continue to feel strong moving on.

    Your point is an extremely valid one.

    When you say it in the way you have above it is so much easier to digest and understand.

    I just feel that sometimes your initial posts (which are the only ones I have read so far, so again sorry that I do not know your history) can sound abrupt and judgemental.

    You are correct and I am sure Sassy is thinking long and hard as to why she reached for a cigarette in a time of stress....I'm sure we all would given the same circumstances.

    I certainly do not wish to start an argument on this fantastic forum but felt I also to had express my opinion....which, as you say, is why we are here.

    I wish you the very best of luck with your quit Karri and hope you find the strength you need to get there soon. :)

    Take care

    Greg

  • Well, I dont think this does count, and I speak as someone who has done the whine and get permission thing having calculatedly set myself up to smoke, but I am worried that you were assaulted, and using slang to describe it doesnt alter the fact that you were assaulted. This should not be happening . Ever. But dont smoke again, because whatever else is going on in your life, you have stopped smoking and are therefore immeasurably better equipped to face the future. Rooting for you Sassy mama

  • I am also worrying about your earlier accident. I dont want to jump to conclusions, but I am worried that you and your children may be in an unsafe situation.

  • That thought had crossed my mind too. God I really hope we are both wrong.

    I think at a time like this, smoking should be the least of Sassy's worries.

    Sassy, if you are reading this please let us know you are alright. I've sent you a pm.

    Love May x

  • Hey Sassy chick xxx I hope you are ok??

    Forget the fact that you had a couple of draws of a ciggy..thats not really important at the moment....in my opinion what really matters right now is that you are ok?? It sounds like you had a really awful time of it :(

    As you can see you have a tonne of good souls on here all ready to offer our support to you...get yourself on here and let us know you are ok???

    Don't kick yourself why you are obviously already having a hard time of it - a good lesson learnt in that the cig didnt help the situation...chances are we can't either but I bet we would make a better support system that ciggs would ;) we are free and we won't make you smell ;)

    Sending hugs...pm me if you want to...shoulder at the ready for you xxx

    Lucy xx

  • I think they are just expressing concern for Sassy Mama...when you hear that someone received a back hander it is natural to be concerned for them.

    I think we are all concerned for sassy mama...she sounds like she is having a crappy time at the moment and we are just offering our support x

  • As has been said these threads divide opinion. The simple fact is that whatever you do doesn't really matter to anyone but yourself.

    There have been many over the years who have taken a blip in their stride and successfully stopped and many for whom permitting themselves to believe they could have a "free" blip would have been just too much of a temptation so there have to be no grey areas. FWIW I am in the latter camp but my way is not necessarily the right way for everyone.

    The biggest danger to avoid is trying to justify why it was OK, whatever happened it was the situation that occurred and smoking can not alter a situation. It is fact it was not OK to smoke but its not the end of the world either. You must chose the right path for you, in years to come it won't matter if you went back to day 1 or carried on as is. So pick yourself up, dust yourself down and carry on however you feel most comfortable.

  • Karri.

    If I could give you just one gift for Christmas this year it would be the ability to show care, concern and compassion to someone other than yourself.

    With this I bid you a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

    Nuff said.

    May

  • If u are not smoking the day after. Then h are stronger than you think. A few puffs nowt.. U realised u didn't like it and didn't carry on..

    I didn't go back to day one when I smoked a fag after 2 months. Iv not had one since. So I am stronger than the craves.

    Sup to u tho. It's ur quit x

  • If u are not smoking the day after. Then h are stronger than you think. A few puffs nowt.. U realised u didn't like it and didn't carry on..

    I didn't go back to day one when I smoked a fag after 2 months. Iv not had one since. So I am stronger than the craves.

    Sup to u tho. It's ur quit x

    As ever Shelly, you get down to the most important point. I totally agree

    How're you doing btw?

    Molly x

  • Happy Christmas to you too May :confused:

    I have no problem if someone wants to criticise the content of my posts. I do think you and Nifty have crossed a line by telling me what I am like as a person. Neither of you have any idea as you don't know me at all. You are way off the mark and I'd be grateful if you would both stop being so personal.

    At last you have finally said something that I actually agree on. 'I dont know you' and judging by the way you come across in the posts on this thread, I'm more than happy to not know you.

    However I'm not going to stoop to your level and have a full blown arguement with childish name calling on this forum. A forum that is here to provide help, support and advice to people that are giving up smoking, not to kick people when they are down.

    I still stand by what I have said and I'm not prepared to waste anymore of my time on you or discuss this matter any further.

    May

  • back to day one

    Hello Sassy Mama dont worry about whether or not you had a few puffs. We don't do guilty consciences on the forum nor finger pointing just pick yourself up and start again easy as that.

    Michael a.k.a:-lefoy123 in Glasgow

  • Sarah

    Hope you're feeling better my love.

    Regarding the couple of puffs, do what YOU feel is right

    Either

    Go back to Day One.

    OR

    Keep your original quit date, but maybe insert the date that you had a puff in your signature.

    Fi x

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